[ SECRET POST #2284 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2284 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #326.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random porn ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

There are two problems though. 1. When people complain about being fat or ugly, they often are looking for back pats and for someone to tell them they're pretty, so if you say either of those things chances are someone is going to tell you you're fine the way you are. They're just trying to be a nice person and make you feel good about yourself, thank them and move on.

2. Fat is largely a negative term, it shouldn't be, but for the majority of people who have been overweight their entire life know that the word "fat" often comes with a look of disapproval at best and pure hatred at worst. Your personal feelings about this do not change society as a whole.

If you want to stop these reactions either A. don't talk about it or B. find a way to talk about it that wouldn't get these types of reactions, like talk about this new fitness program you found because you want to lose a few pounds, usually when those topics come up people will just talk about fitness programs and won't be talking about fat shaming so much.

Also saying "out of shape" instead of "fat" is probably best, people can be out of shape at any weight and the response is most often encouragement to get in shape.

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

You know what bugs me, is that you're right, but I hate that you can't just talk about something without people thinking that you're expecting a reply. Like, sometimes a journal entry is just a journal entry. It exists to get thoughts out or my head or to simply explain where I'm at.

You're also automatically assuming if someone is talking about the fact that they're fat and need to work out that it = complaining. That right there is the problem.

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

It's just an automatic for some people that if something seems to be a problem, they want to help. Even if something is just a rant, some people are going to want to fix it, I know a lot of times in relationships that is an issue when one person is a ranter and another isn't.

In regards to journal entries though there are solutions, either lock comments and say "I just wanted to get this out, I'm not really looking for comments" or post a PRIVATE journal and get it out. I think social media has made us all think that in order to get something out we need to do it to an audience- we don't. Sometimes it's best to leave some things to private journals if you don't want a response.

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

Fat is largely a negative term, it shouldn't be...

Are you for real? And we're supposed to say out of shape instead? They're two different things. And they're both negative. Social perceptions aside, these are real things that have real impact on real people's health.

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

This conversation is entirely about social perception though, I am coming from experiences of how people react to certain terms, personal feelings on it don't matter this is just how people react to these terms. And OP was ranting about people's reactions, hence my comment.

So you can take your fat/health wank somewhere else.

Re: Fat

[(Anonymous)]

Also saying "out of shape" instead of "fat" is probably best, people can be out of shape at any weight and the response is most often encouragement to get in shape.

This is true. I am maybe.. 120 lbs? And I'm pretty out of shape - the only reason I'm even this small is metabolism. I don't desire to lose MORE weight, but to be more in shape? Definitely.

Re: Fat

[darkmanifest]

1. When people complain about being fat or ugly, they often are looking for back pats and for someone to tell them they're pretty, so if you say either of those things chances are someone is going to tell you you're fine the way you are.

This, homigod. Or commiseration. In my case, I usually I default to vague encouragement, like "you'll succeed at whatever you want to do about it", no matter what they actually say about their weight. One thing people rarely want honest opinions about is weight, and I have no desire to provide what isn't wanted.