[ SECRET POST #2291 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2291 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #327.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think the problem is though, beyond the appropriating and trying to co-opt thing... there are members who fall into this community who need very genuine help. Eh, not to say that every teenager who once pretended to be a cat online needs to be dragged to a shrink, but I've seen a ton of people that fall in the otherkin community that do need professional help. And these kinda communities often have such an isolating nature that they keep people from getting that help.

(It's not just otherkins though. this kinda happens a lot with internet sub communities, because lets face it, the loudest members are often the craziest, most of them aren't exactly educated properly on mental health and they often go for the quick and easy solution which don't tend to be the greatest for people in the long run.)

[(Anonymous)]

All valid points, with a few counter points:

If you re-read the thread, how many people seem to genuinly want to help somone, and how many people are just being... mean for the sake of feeling superior to somone?

Also, every group has people in it who are in need of help, people turn to religion in times of tradgedy and it could be considered that there are better ways to deal with it (I'm thinking of a specific person in my life, but its not a unique story so we can keep it general), but the thing is it's not my place to decide that for the person, the only person who get's to decide what the best way for them to cope / live / find happines is.

If somone finds happiness in a community it's up to them to decide if it's healthy for them, and it's no-ones right to belittle and insult them for it. With the proviso that they don't hurt anyone else.

[(Anonymous)]

but what if the very presence of the group and the bad coping methods they teach is hurting people?

I can't really comment on your comparison to religion. First of, I'm an atheist so religious kind of support is pretty meh for me to begin with but to be honest... if someone was just getting religious support for a very real issue they are having, nine out of ten times, that would seriously concern me too, unless the issue itself was solely a religious one.

I see this a lot with anxiety on the internet. Now, I am not going to say that the internet cannot be a wonderful resource and support for sufferers of anxiety. It certainly was for me. But the problem is not all of this support is equal. There are many groups of untrained people offering 'support' that is actively harming. It might not look that way on the surface but it does.

Like, having a great big group of people there that tell you it is okay to be scared and not do the things you are scared of seems like a wonderful thing at first, especially when for so many of us our fears do not get taken serious by society. But the problem is if that is the only message they get, it will only make it worse for them in the long run, and very often those are the only messages these groups give out. Like, if you are scared of phones, and the only thing these groups keep telling you it is okay to be scared and you don't even have to face it or make a call, it makes that goddamn anxiety part of your brain go 'see, i am right, people say i am right, phones are terrifying and they should be avoided at all costs' which... only leads to making those fears that much larger.

People with anxiety need mental tools for dealing with whatever it is that troubles them, they need to learn to break the fucked up mental stuff they do to themselves, and sometimes they also need the help of drugs, and I think very often these kinda large groups keep people from getting this help. Not maliciously, mind you. it's just that they are untrained and often so focused on just making people happy in the moment that they don't see the kind of unhappiness they will be causing in the future. And sadly enough, often when people finally get that kick in the head and realize how unhappy they are? Sometimes they've become so isolated from everything else in their lives by these groups that getting help and getting out will be a hellish task.

To me otherkin groups are the same. Often they fill up with kids so desperate for any kind of support that they just allow themselves to get so wrapped up in all of this, to completely dissociate from their real troubles that by the time they realize how badly it has gotten, there is only unhappiness and getting out is hard. (especially seeing as there are some darker sub-elements to these otherkin groups)

I'm sorry to just babbled a lot about this. This kinda issue is kinda close to my heart because I was that mentally screwed up kid looking for support. And I got real lucky, but sometimes looking back on things, it scares me to think of what kind of groups I could've ended up in and how all the progress I have made in my life could've been a pipedream. And, it's okay if you don't see these groups like that. Guess we can't all agree on everything.

[(Anonymous)]

How can you know if it's hurting people, though. You can't say that the support they recieve is more harmful than being without it. It's a bit of a 'Walk a mile in someone elses shoes' thing.

Personally I find the whole 'Christianity cures alcoholism' thing to be... risky, but I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't feel good about organized religion in general, so it's simply not my place to decide if it is as harmful as it seems to me, it's got to be down to the individual.

I take all your points, though, but there's really no hard and fast rules on how to be happy and healthy so I just feel iffy seeing people being jerks to somone just trying to find their place, you know?

[(Anonymous)]

well, to me, I know it is hurting people cause I've seen it hurt people. I've seen a couple of people fall in with groups like these and just get worse. The one that always stands out in my mind was this girl who, yeah had some anxiety issues, but at a managable level who fell in with a group like this and she just... became nothing but anxieties and bad habits all from just being coddled and made incapable. And she is not an unique story. Kinda... when you see all the people who fall in with these kinda groups just get worse, at some point you just draw your conclusions.

(I do online roleplaying which is a hobby that draws in a lot of people with anxieties because, you know, gives a bit of an escape. It is certainly part of the reason I have started. That's how I've run into a bunch of people like this)

[(Anonymous)]

And I've seen it help people. We aren't all wired the same, and yeah, some people will use groups like these to hide from the broader world, and their issues will just get worse. But for every one of them, there's someone (at least one) who is finding a place for themselves, learning who they really are, and finally, often times for the first time, feeling secure enough to talk about who they are. My experience is that more often than not, when they become secure in one area they venture out into other less safe areas of their life. Sometimes it's a long slow process and involves a lot of running back to safety because the world is a scary place, but eventually they get there. I'm really really tired, so apologies if none of that made sense.

[darael]

I'm 'kin. I have professional help, primarily for depression. And when I mentioned being 'kin, I was told that as long as it - as opposed to things partially rooted in it - wasn't preventing me from functioning, it didn't need any fixing. Maybe we should leave psychological/psychiatric assessment to the professionals.