fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2303 ]

[ SECRET POST #2303 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2303 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #329.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I mean, don't get me wrong: if you think someone's ugly, you can't exactly do anything about it. Some people are just ugly to lots of other people. There are plenty of people who I myself find pretty damn ugly.

But I find the act of commenting on a person's ugliness with no goal in mind other than to state the fact that the person is ugly and/or express the fact that you're offended by someone's ugliness to be among the most pointlessly vile and base activities I can think of, and I automatically lose a good bit of respect for anyone who does it. It's just so completely devoid of any classiness or basic dignity.

Of course, it's nowhere even near the worst thing someone can do, but it really hits a high point on the graph of uselessness versus nastiness.

Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay.

This attitude is about as useful as a Rube Goldberg machine that enables the user to shit in their own mouth.

IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU BREAKFAST AT ALL! IT JUST SHOOTS YOU!

Needlessly pointing out nastiness is mean...but I admit I am a hypocrite, because I do get a kick out of B.Cumberbatch jokes about his appearance, despite liking Sherlock and his performance.

I don't think there can ever be anything "needless" about pointing out bad behavior.

Oop - wrong word. My bad.

Re: Does anyone else find it gross to talk about how ugly a person is?

galerian-ash.livejournal.com - 2013-04-23 23:51 (UTC) - Expand

It's so... pointless. Okay, you don't find someone attractive. What do you want, a parade? A discussion that goes through their face, feature by feature, talking in length about just how ugly they are?

Agreed.

+100

Of all the subjects of discussion available to in the whole of creating you choose to use your time picking on a meaningless quality a person can do next to nothing about? You're an arsehole.

Yeah. I don't get why the fuck anyone would do it. Just...seriously? Ugliness is something people have no control over (unless they go to a plastic surgeon, and if you think ugly people should go to a plastic surgeon just to spare the eyes of people around them FUCK YOU), and it means absolutely jack shit to a person's important qualities. It's a totally repulsive thing to do.

I mean, there are some context when pointing out an actor is ugly to the general population can be constructive -- like, for example, that annoying double standard where ugly guys are completely seriously portrayed and treated by female characters who don't even know them as sexy and desirable on a completely shallow physical level, whereas women have to be drop-dead gorgeous and conventionally so to be a romantic lead unless a big joke is made out of it -- but those useless "lol the fug is strong with that one!" comments make my innards curl up in embarrassment for sharing the commenter's species.

Yeah this. Especially since a lot of the "ugly chicks" are typically plain at worst. And this isn't taking into account that they might have been wearing something unflattering, or that it was a bad picture, etc. :/

+1 from me. I think calling someone is basically one of the meanest things you can say, considering there's not much you can do about your face.

Yeah, it's incredibly stupid.

I think people do it more to piss off that person's fans than because it actually bothers them? Like, saying someone's favourite actor is objectively ugly and nobody could possibly find them hot is basically saying "I think you have terrible taste."

It's mean if the person can hear/see you, or if you're actually judging their worth for it.

But acting as if this is gross in and of itself--making it such a taboo--is elevating the ideal of physical beauty far too high. Acting like it is a grave insult to insist that someone isn't physically beautiful reinforces the idea that aesthetics is one of their most important attributes.

It's mean if the person can hear/see you, or if you're actually judging their worth for it.

Yeah pretty sure a large percentage of those being criticized have Internet access and reams of discretionary time on their hands.

IMO? If you wouldn't say it to their faces don't say it onilne.

Re: Not really.

chardmonster - 2013-04-24 01:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Not really.

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-24 01:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Not really.

chardmonster - 2013-04-24 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Not really.

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-24 02:09 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, I agree with this comment, but the thing is that people go out of their way to express how damn offended they are by someone's appearance -- like saying "he should only play roles where his character has to wear a mask" -- that really does reinforce the idea that aesthetics is a really important attribute and that if you're not physically beautiful, you don't deserve to allow yourself to be seen because you're offending people by being visible.

Honestly -- IDGAF about hurting a celebrity's feelings, I doubt many of them are that thin-skinned and if they are they shouldn't be famous, it's just such a disgusting to do in and of itself, for what it reveals about the commenter's personality. It's the intent and attitude, not the consequences, that make it gross.

I like and agree with this comment. Let me be ugly, dammit, I don't need "hidden beauty" or some such shit.

Yeah, but ugliness (and beauty) are not objective qualities. What's considered beautiful/ugly has varied throughout history and across cultures. So talking about someone's ugliness is means you've already given in to the beauty narrative du jour, and are reinforcing it.

Re: Not really.

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-24 18:17 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, it bugs me too.

I feel like people use it more when they've run out of other, more cohesive complains about a person.

I feel similar to you because I think it's kind of mean to do. I think it's fine to like someone else's appearance and answer truthfully if asked but to be mocking about it kind of puts me off.

On the other hand, I recognize it's somewhat normal behavior? So I never know if I'm just overthinking/overreacting to it. That's why unless it's a secret here or it's a friend being particularly snotty I generally don't say anything.

Yeah if people complain about how ugly others are that will instantly make me lose a bit of respect for them.

If it's a celebrity and we're subjected to seeing their face around constantly then no, man, I'm going to complaint. You can't repeatedly shove someone in my face and pretend they're attractive and not have me react negatively. It's not like i exert a significant amount of energy mentioning the fact i think they're ugly.

Though this is working on the idea that they ARE public figures, and that their attractiveness is part of their selling point. If you use attractiveness to belittle a politician or something like that then I'm gonna roll my eyes because that's stupid.

The only time I discuss it is with my partner about actors that everyone is saying is hot and we just DON'T GET IT. (Or sometimes about actors who just look funny/weird and we try to suss out why.)

But as far as just going on about how ugly somebody is... yeah, idgi, either. But I also don't really get going on about how hot somebody is, either. So maybe I just don't understand pointless conversations about people's looks? idk. Mostly I ignore it and move on, because what else can you do.

I just wish people would stop focusing on beauty and appearances so damn much.

It's like, to others, my entire self-worth as a person is wrapped up in how "beautiful" or "sexy" I am, and if I'm not, then I've committed some sort of moral failing.

Uhhhh, nope, sorry, I am not conventionally attractive. I'm not even unconventionally attractive. My body has always been weak and sickly and unattractive.

Stop it with this "inner beauty" or "everyone is beautiful" shit. Some people will never be considered beautiful by other people's standards, and they will continue to get shit for it.

What about my intellect and imagination? What about the research I want to do?

Sometimes I just wish I was a disembodied mind, without a body.

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