[ SECRET POST #2316 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2316 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Band of Brothers]


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03.
[Princess Princess]


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04.
[Once Upon a Time]


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05.
[Doctor Who]


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06.
[toby turner/tobuscus/tobygames]


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07.
[Common Law]


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08.
[James May's Man Lab]


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09.
[The Enigma of Amigara Fault]


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10.
[Mad Men]


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11.
[Lost Girl]


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12.
[Twilight]


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13.
[Monsters Inc]


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14.
[Archer]


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15.
[Super Junior / Infinite]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #331.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 (???) - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 2 - empty comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

So, uh, not to state the obvious, but dump him.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. It's not your fault you gained weight, he shouldn't be making you feel worse than you already do, and there are guys who are attracted to heavier women.

[(Anonymous)]

Yup, Seconding this. DTMFA.

[(Anonymous)]

While I feel like most times on people jump the gun when they're like "DUMP HIM DUMP HIM DUMP HIM" I feel this time it's very appropriate. If he doesn't appreciate you at your worst then he certainly doesn't deserve you at your best.

[bet]

This! So much! I understand going through rough patches in a relationship but if his only reason for not being interested is weight gain? OMG, I'd ditch him so fast!

[(Anonymous)]

There are also guys who support their partners in times they feel like shit. There are also guys who don't give a shit about their partner's weight and find them sexy no matter what happens to them, not only when they're either thin or fat (those "I only date fat girls" kind of people are just as dumb as the "I only date thin girls" kind of people).

[visp]

It could even be argued that it's not his fault that he's not attracted to fat women, but so what? If your SO doesn't want to bang you, for whatever reason, relationship's over. If you can break up nicely and remain buds, hooray, but at the end of the day, OP, you gotta find you someone who wants to tap dat ass.

[(Anonymous)]

This. Not being attracted to heavy women doesn't make the guy some huge asshole, it's just his preference. Obviously that preference makes them incompatible, so it's time to call it quits.

[bored_bitch]

> If your SO doesn't want to bang you, for whatever reason, relationship's over.


Uh, no, not necessarily.
That's equating love with sex.
Love doesn't require sex.

I have a feeling that if this were reversed, and we were telling a dude to break up with a girl who didn't want to touch him, there'd be a whole lot of "RAPE!!" and "THIS IS DIDGUSTING!!" shitstorms popping up in response.

[childings.livejournal.com]

Sex is a huge part of a relationship, unless both partners are ok with each other screwing other people or they're both asexual or something I'd say it's relationship-ending.

[insanenoodlyguy]

I'd be saying it both ways. A massive decline in sexual interest is a big warning sign.

[silverr]

Reading between the lines, though, more worrisome is waht sounds like an overall lack of supportiveness.

IMO, a keeper would stay and not be 100% selfish. Help the recovery, support the weight loss. Literally be there through thick and thin.

(If there was an easy way to search Savage Love, I know there've been two columns with letters about this situation.)

[visp]

Heh, I see what you did there.

[visp]

No, rape is forcing your sexual wants on someone - that's way different from not engaging in a situation because there's no sex to be had. And sure, there's lots of love that doesn't include sex: siblings, parents, friends, storge, philia, and agape etc. But for the most part, unless you're asexual, romantic love is eros and that has a sexual component.

And it works both ways. If I stopped having sex with an SO, I wouldn't be surprised if they were like "So, this isn't working for me. Friends, maybe?" If it's a temporary thing that can be fixed, I can see sticking around in hopes that it'll pass, but I don't think it's unreasonable to leave a relationship because your sexual wants aren't being met.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh.
He doesn't want to have sex with her because she gained weight.
I would say the same to the one who gained weight, no matter if it was a she or a he. There's no reason to equate this to rape if the roles were reversed.

There's is a difference to me between "oh, your partner doesn't want to have sex with you for reasons you don't know about? DUMB HIM/HER!" and "oh, your partner finds you repulsive once your outer appearance changes? DUMP HIM/HER!"
The first is about working out the problem. Maybe the partner isn't ready yet, maybe the partner has emotional or other psychological roblems, maybe the artner suddenly feels like THEY are no longer desirable.
But this is about someone refusing to have sex with their SO just because they suddenly changed appearance. This isn't about a man and a woman. This would be the same thing if it was a woman and a man, a man and a man, a woman and a woman, etc...