[ SECRET POST #2335 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2335 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 095 secrets from Secret Submission Post #334.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the same way. I was a melancholy, serious child and I had my first major episode when I was 14. I never really came out of it but kept sinking deeper and deeper. A few years ago we finally found a medication that fixed it (it wasn't an antidepressant - I've done over a dozen of those) and I was flabbergasted. I couldn't believe *that's* what I'd been missing out on. I told a friend it was like someone had painted color into my world and turned on music. I found myself functioning on a whole new level.

Knowing that experience... well for a personal reason I've had to come off the meds for a period of time (a year to a year and a half). I cried for a month before I came off the meds and even now I cry two or three times a week because all I can remember is that it was beautiful once and I can't access it. I just breakdown and start sobbing when I hear songs that used to make me feel upbeat. It's the worst feeling in the world. Like someone gave me air and then took it away. Before I lasted because I didn't know what I was missing. Now I do and there are days when I can barely deal with it. I have friends that need me to emotionally support them and I *don't care* as in, I can't get myself to feel for them and that bothers me on so many levels.

Just a little longer though. Then I can go back. I think sometimes that's the only reason I don't give in to the darker tones of my depression because I know that it's just temporary even if it hurts like hell.

[oftheark]

I'm on medication now and I'm a lot better than when I was without them. I can cope with meds, I can have a job, have my own apartment, and be a responsible, "normal" adult, but I know I'm still missing something. And to be honest, I've always been afraid that one day I'll find out that either a) feeling "normal" isn't all it's cracked up to be or b) it's better than I can ever imagine and I'd rather not know if I can't have it. I'm sorry you're going through a bit of the latter, but yay that you'll be getting it back soon!

[(Anonymous)]

Yay for functioning. I definitely think that's a huge plus no matter what. :) I miss feeling capable. And yes, yay for being able to get back there. I'm always a little afraid that something will go wrong and the rug will be pulled out... but then I try to remind myself that it's the depression talking (makes me such a pessimist).

[(Anonymous)]

A few years ago we finally found a medication that fixed it (it wasn't an antidepressant - I've done over a dozen of those) and I was flabbergasted. I couldn't believe *that's* what I'd been missing out on. I told a friend it was like someone had painted color into my world and turned on music. I found myself functioning on a whole new level.

This is exactly how I felt when I went on antidepressants. It was like I had been blind my whole life and then I could see. It lifted me up to a place I'd never been before and hadn't even known existed.

I went off the antidepressant too for personal reasons. I'm better now, back to normal for me (e.g. no longer severely depressed--I still have anxiety and occasional bad days, but I can deal with it and it's not crippling for me). But when I do have those bad days, I try to remember how I'd feel about this if I were still on the medication, and it helps.