fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2339 ]

[ SECRET POST #2339 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2339 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #334.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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So between bhg and chardmonster I was peer-pressured into giving OkCupid a try. I had today off and have been pouring through profiles and messages almost non-stop since 2am last night. I had a nap between 8 & 11.

This has only confirmed my belief there are no decent single people who have anything in common with me left in my town. Or two. There's two. But one is way out of my league and the other has a relationship with drinking and drugs that makes me uncomfortable. :/

Sadly there are twenty-eight people I am insanely interested in at the 100+ mile mark from where I live and that number shoots up the further I look. I feel like I live at ground zero for a scumbag explosion or something.

I did enjoy all the ridiculous messages I had to deal with today. Unfortunately I was deleting them before I realized the comedic potential. I do have this though!

This guy opened his profile with the line "WHY ARE ALL THE WOMEN ON THIS SITE SHALLOW BITCHES?" this would be the only capitalization he used on his page. He then proceeded to make ugly generalizations about "females" and awkwardly sexist "jokes" (?) before asking for a woman to prove "there not all the same". He ended by talking about what a nice, sweet guy he was and how all women were stuck up bitches screwing themselves over by not spending time to get to know him.

My favorite of the day was either guy OkCupid (rather accurately) rated as 99% enemies with me who was really insistent about meeting me for drinks even though his profile said he was in AA or the guy who messaged me to say "heyy," and then responded to my "whatt?" with "wtf u gotta say sumthin".

That guy seems like a real catch, and I wonder why no-one has been interested. Love the 'peace stuck up broad' part.

Yeah he really proved I was too quick to judge him!

Yeah, okc is kind of a crapshoot. My advice is to just let it sit for a while and check back only a couple of times a week for new messages or to see if more people in your area have joined that seem interesting. After like six months of being approached mostly by creepy and/or boring dudes and people who wanted me to "spice up" their marriage by being in a threesome with them, I finally met someone who I wanted to date and they eventually became my girlfriend. Totally worth it (for me anyway, I couldn't really blame you if you decided to just wash your hands of the whole thing)

This just reaffirms my belief that dating sites are doubly hard if you're a woman. I'm sorry everyone you're interested in is so far away from you, though. That's always rough =(

So here's a conversation I had once with a guy I knew for about two days:

HIM: Would you mind accepting me on facebook?

ME: Sorry, but I'm not comfortable with that. I haven't known you for very long and I have a lot of private, personal information on my page. Maybe if we get to know each other better?

HIM: Facebook, where you post random photos and stupid statuses is a *sacred* private thing? Hahaha. If you're not interested in getting to know me better, its ok

ME: Yes, because some people, like me, only use facebook to connect to family and close friends, and I do not feel comfortable sharing personal details with someone I've only known for two days on the Internet. But really, thanks ever so much for your kind consideration of my feelings and personal comfort. Suffice to say I think this is the end of our chats. Have a good life.

HIM: Wow, frigid bitch much?

Yeah.

This reminds me of the OkCupid guys who end up on tumblr.

My sympathies.

JULIET

Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

ROMEO

Lol ok well im not from here so peace stuck up broad

HAHAHAHA.

Someone needs to macro this.

I ugly laughed. Thank you!

Re: the poetry of okcupid

republicanism - 2013-05-30 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: the poetry of okcupid

anonymouslyyours - 2013-05-30 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

Oh dear.

Personally I'm kind of surprised that OKCupid lets '99% enemies' even message each other, unless they've got a segment of users who really try to live that whole 'opposites attract' way of thinking.

Sometimes hate sex is the best kind.

Or people aren't honest about what they're looking for in the survey part, so they click with people the site thinks they should hate.

I used to have a profile there and I did find a decent FWB on it, he's a good friend and a decent guy but it did take me several months and I guess you have to be patient? In the meantime the obscene and offensive messages are pretty amusing, at least to me (of course I wasn't single when I made the profile so it's different for me, IDK)

To me, the funniest thing is how desperate to get laid these guys are, and as soon as you turn them down (even politely) they do a 180% and start in on how ugly you are, etc. This one guy incessantly messaged me and when I turned him down he was called me fat and said I was a butterface, etc. I mean, if he really felt that way, why did he obviously want to fuck me so bad?

Oh and sadly a lot of these guys do end up getting laid with people like my roommate who hooks up with all kinds of assholes, no matter how verbally abusive or shitty they are (seriously), sometimes even repeatedly. Maybe that's her thing or whatever (I'm trying not to judge her too much), but I seriously wish she had better standards only because these men need to learn how to treat other people especially women if they want to get laid in the future.

If you want an example, she fucks this dude she works with (really bad idea there if you ask me, dating people you work with is bad enough but casual sex with co-workers is no bueno) EVEN AFTER he told the whole office that she was a "slut" and talked all this shit about her. Why she would have sex with some asshole who slut-shamed her is beyond me. What's worse is that I have to endure even having this human piece of garbage in my house in the first place. She can do whatever she wants but UGH

Re: OkCupid

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-30 00:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OkCupid

childings.livejournal.com - 2013-05-30 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

Wow. What a doorknob. I hope someone punches him.

Yeaah, OKCupid is weird. My favorite (?) message I've gotten so far is the one with someone going "hey my shower was lonely without you." I've giggled about that one for a while.

I've been on it for a while and not much has happened other than people from not from my area going "wow you're really cool." *sigh*

I do love it when people are all "Why are women all crazy bitches?"/"Why are men all crazy assholes?" and then they're like "Why won't anyone date me?"

At one point I had 2 small, separate groups of friends, one all-male, the other all-female, and almost all straight, single, and frustrated with dating... The above convo is rather heartbreakingly familiar (and yeah, I considered briefly some sort of crazy rom-com-style hookup, but that was quite guaranteed disaster...).

Wow what an ass.
My experience with OKCupid has been rather disappointing. There are only two women from my city; one doesn't have anything in her profile and the other is cute but I don't think we'd get along (she seems like a hardcore party girl, and I'm not much of one). No one has messaged me though. Some men have visited my profile, but I guess they see "gay" and know better.

Aw that sucks. The women on here don't seem to be much better, if perhaps less annoying.

The first bi girl I met was a random penguin of doom who was very mature for her age and ended everything with multiple exclamation points but couldn't spell 'people' out.

The next six "bi women" were couples looking for a woman to have a one-night stand with them >:( And most of the other real bi women have 'taco' in their username and have overwhelmingly grating profiles.

One of the bi women straight up said she isn't bi she just needs a hotter girlfriend to make out with in bars because her old friend got pregnant.

Re: OkCupid

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-30 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OkCupid

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-05-30 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

That is pretty much equal parts hilarious and horrible to me. I would probably stay up forever in a sick sort of fascination messaging and replying to messages. Best that I don't have an account.

(Actually, I do have an account but I haven't uploaded a picture or barely any info because I'm oddly paranoid of people finding me on there....which I guess is the point but you don't argue logic is paranoia.)

Re: OkCupid

anonymouslyyours - 2013-05-30 02:46 (UTC) - Expand

This whole thread is making me want to join that site just for the lulz.

Anyway, wooow that guy is never gonna get laid. Better luck next time. 'xD

Re: OkCupid

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-30 06:06 (UTC) - Expand

I just lurked to see if I should join and HELLO PEOPLE I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

It's like I went through my yearbook, and picked out everyone I would never sleep with. They're all there! Homophobic Surfer, Sweaty Unfunny Guy, Brainless Rugby Guy Who Had Sex With 10+ People In My Year, Guy Who Started Spaghetti Fight On Bus.

And yet I see none of the girls I went to school with.

I can't put my picture on there. I'm facebook friends with some of these weirdos. I like to know who knocked who up, etc.

I feel like it would demolish the fourth wall of my life. I want anonymous flirting with people I will never have to see at the shops, please.

I laughed so hard, especially at the "Thanks, you too!" You're awesome. XD It's really telling how these people will do a complete 180 once they realize you're not actually lusting after them.

This, and tumblrs like OKC Enemies, make me want to get a profile just to see the insane crap people would message me with. Or browse my enemies and laugh. /mean person

Oh man, before I worked out how to stop guys messaging me (as a lesbian), I would get the weirdest fucking messages from them. So have fellow straight friends who have made accounts, weird, outright aggressive messages sharing kinks, asking if they're into necrophilia, something about burritos in sex.

Men on okcupid are weird D: That said, there's been a few weird girl ones in my experience of several years but eek the men.

Although my BFF's boyfriend comes from there and he's a really cool man, so I guess they're hiding in there somewhere

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