[ SECRET POST #2346 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2346 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #335.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: "You're not really an adult until you get married!"

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have to read it to know that I disagree.

Marriage, kids, getting a job, buying a house - none of these things actually "make" you an adult. Maturity and responsibility isn't magically bestowed upon you simply because you shacked up with somebody, nor are you inexplicably barred from such character growth should you choose not to.

This is one of those "moving goalposts" things - if people want to see you as immature, irresponsible, and childish, they're going to. For whatever reason. "You're not really an adult until you stop playing video games." "You're not really an adult until you get a real job." "You're not really an adult until you get married." "You're not really an adult until you have kids." etc etc etc... And I've found that people who feel the need to look down their nose at others who make different choices in life are generally unhappy with their own choices. Got married too young or too soon? "Well, at least I'm an ~adult~ instead of all those childish freaks who're still single or - gasp! - cohabiting!" Yeah, okay.

Re: "You're not really an adult until you get married!"

[(Anonymous)]

This

Re: "You're not really an adult until you get married!"

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Part of being an adult for a fair number of people is realizing that they don't want those so-called markers of adulthood for whatever reason. A person who lives in an apartment and takes the bus because they know it's what they can afford or because they simply don't want or need a car or a bigger living space isn't inherently un-adult. Being an adult also doesn't automatically mean you're not going to make mistakes or sometimes be an idiot. People really do just like to judge others to validate their own choices.

Re: "You're not really an adult until you get married!"

[lunabee34]

This is a great comment, and I completely agree.

I think that getting married comes with its own growth experiences, but I don't think it's the only way to grow and mature, and simply getting married doesn't guarantee that growth will occur. I got married very young, and while I don't regret it at all, I know that I missed out on the growth experiences my friends who remained single for longer than I did got to have. And what does being an adult mean anyway? LOL

Re: "You're not really an adult until you get married!"

[fenm]

"You're not really an adult until you get a real job."

And THEY get to decide what that is, of course. Even if do stuff and get paid for it, if they don't approve of it, it's not a "real job" as far as they're concerned.