fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2347 ]

[ SECRET POST #2347 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2347 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Jay from Red Letter Media]

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03.

[Bob's Burgers]

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04.

[CL from 2NE1]

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05.

[Moriarty/Sherlock Holmes]

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06.

[Of Monsters and Men and Glitch (game)]

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07.

[After Man: A Zoology of the Future]

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08.

[Hetalia]

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09.

[Bubble Guppies]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #335.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I have a nerdy friend who is aware of fandom, but leaning towards pretentious. In response to an aside about an especially hot actor in an email chain, he sent me a link to a pretty standard Fuck Yeah tumblr, saying it was good for "super cheesy gifs". But it's just standard fan graphics? Like not especially sophisticated, but meant sincerely by fans of the show. and it annoyed me that he was on their blog enjoying their pictures, but felt the need to distance himself from that sincerity by saying "super cheesy". So I said so and requested that he not talk about fandom like that to me.

Now I feel irrational. Why am I so defensive of tumblr fandom and it's obsession with photoshop filters?? Was I overreacting? This is kind of late, but hopefully someone can help an anon out.

i say you did right, as long as you're not downplaying your reaction for us, but don't think too much about it any more

thanks for replying!
that was more or less what I said, minus a rebuttal to the expected "But I *like* cheesy".

that seems reasonably, then

this is less about what you like/your friend doesn't like, and more about you and your friend (well, right now, you) laying down rules and boundaries so that you don't annoy each other about each other's interests for the prolonged well-being of your friendship

sa

on the other hand, and after reading the other comment you got, maybe you and me are just kinda thin-skinned about this sort of thing

vov

hah well I was vague enough that it could sound like I was more accusatory/mad than I actually was... I definitely never told anyone they weren't allowed to enjoy things?
I sent another email clarifying that I'm inching onto the autism spectrum here. I take things very literally and wish everyone would just talk about what they love straightforwardly in declarative sentences.
And now I'm going to take your advice and not dwell on it!!! :)

i can definitely relate to that

Holy hell yes you are overreacting.

Seriously? You're annoyed because he called some gifsets on Tumblr "super cheesy". That's it. You are literally mad and calling him pretentious because he doesn't have the same taste in gifsets as you.

You are actually saying that he should not have the right to enjoy a blog unless he views the content (which by your own admission are standard and nothing special) in the exact same way you do.

Here's something you need to understand: The amount of love, effort or sincerity goes into a work is irrelevant to how someone perceives it. It doesn't mean it's exempt from criticism or dislike. It can enhance the experience for some people, but it doesn't give those people the right to turn around and rip on their friends who comment that it's a bit cheesy.

All you've done today is basically say to this friend "Don't discuss fandom with me unless our views align 100%". If that's what you want, fine, but don't be surprised when he thinks twice about sharing a blog with you again.

I see what you mean, I am letting my previous frustrations with him color how I see this... but I'm kind of fine with us not sharing fandom? We're very old friends and this is his reaction to everything fannish. I wanted him to understand that I see it differently.

Anyway, shit, I'm not trying to defend myself. I asked for an opinion and you gave one. Thanks!

I can't really say either way, because I wasn't there when it happened and all.

But I'll just say that I've been kind of annoyed/baffled by how fandom seems to be moving away from that excited sincere feeling, and more towards this weird kind of affected detachment. Like people found a way to be involved with it and act like they're too good for it at the same time. I know it's not universal, but it's kind of a pattern I've noticed over the past few years.

I know what you mean. I'm not very good at being openly fannish, but I love that sincere enjoyment. You can be critical and analytic and still know exactly what you love about something, ya know?

I would say, uh yeah, it's an overreaction. Not everyone is into Tumblr and fandom ways there, and are used to seeing gifs, or at least so many of them. So for those of us who spend a lot of time there, all we see is 'oh hey gifs of such-and-such-show' and move on through our dashboards.

If someone's not used to Tumblr and looking at lots and lots of gifsets, and sees a slow-moving gif of a character reaction or whatever (and maybe a caption), then yeah I see how some of them can come off as 'cheesy.' I guess I'd need to see an example of what gifs he saw to really judge...

Besides, 'super cheesy?' Really? He could have said so much worse, but he did seem to enjoy them, so is that *really* so bad and worth getting defensive over?

psst it was http://fy-darkangel.tumblr.com/ (maybe I just don't know what cheesy means)
but yeah I sent a conciliatory email saying "I should know that's just how you talk about things" :( thanks.

maybe it's the dramatic faces/text; they do seem cheesy out of context (i miss that show)

ayrt: aww I loved this show, haha.

cheesy isn't bad per se, it can be interchangeable with corny and applied to dramatic and over the top gif/photosets. but hey, on tumblr that's what they tend to be 70% of the time and your friend probably isn't familiar with that and tumblr fandom in general so I wouldn't think much of it. I really doubt he meant to be insulting though.

That seems a touch defensive, yes. It's perfectly fine to be annoyed about his comment (he IS being pretentious and a bit of a snot) but you have to think to yourself... do I really want to defend the honor of some random gifs on tumblr?

A simple "They're pretty normal for fandom. I guess you're just not used to them." would've put him in his place without sounding like you're ready to call him out for a duel.

Does he know that you're fannish? Cause in my experience covering one's ass with 'this is cheesy and stupid but' is less often about distaining the fandom, and more often about not outting yourself as a massive fannish freak to the mundanes.

He knows, I've sent him links to fanfic and gifs of pretty people.
But now the next day I'm thinking this is actually possible? But whyyy, it's like the most pointless "no homo" ever. SO CONFUSED AND SADDENED.
I'm mostly just super embarrassed about the whole thing now, but I'm glad so many people replied!

So I said so and requested that he not talk about fandom like that to me.

You were overreacting. Especially if you think something can't be both super cheesy and enjoyable.

I legitimately like the kind of movies that showed up on MST3K. They bring me joy. They are also incredibly cheesy.

Fandom is not meant to be taken so seriously. At least not on "fuckyeah" tumblrs with gifsets.

Edited 2013-06-07 18:31 (UTC)

Late, but yeah it does seem a little defensive. OTOH since you have a long history with him, I'm just going to chalk it up to maybe a reasonable annoyance with the way he presents his interest in things.

What I gather from what you're telling us about his behavior are things that sound similar to the kind of stuff I would do back when an old friend of mine told me that I was gratuitously critical of everything, and it was really annoying.

He had a point, and so I tried to tone it down be a little less condescending towards everything. It wasn't a big deal between us. Although it also sounds like he might just be getting used to things, and is trying to justify his interest in them by labeling them somewhat negatively, in case it turns out that it's embarrassing to like them.

Nonsensical as it is, I've met a lot of people who do that. Especially dudes.

I don't know him or you, though, so I'm sure you'll work it out as long as you explain yourselves to one another and keep open and civil.

SA

if anyone gives a fuck we've kind of talked, and he confirmed that super cheesy was used for when something is "so over the top I am unsure if it's been done in earnest or not" so now we're having a good talk about tumblr fandom and feels and how his art school judgment is entirely understandable but not how I see things. I'm glad I followed up on my original, somewhat defensive email :)

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[ SECRET POST #2347 ]

Overly defensive fan??

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