fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2350 ]

[ SECRET POST #2350 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2350 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 135 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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I've had plenty of sorta-good friends and acquaintances all my life, but I've never had a mutual best friend, where Person A is the best of all my friends and Person A feels the same way about me and we both know it. Maybe because I've moved around a lot ever since I was a kid, but I've never even had one temporarily.

I feel like I shouldn't complain, because some people aren't lucky enough to get the chance to make any good friends at all, but at the same time I can't help but wonder what it's like, since I have no idea how it feels. It just seems utterly amazing and glorious to me, the idea that someone likes you, personally, better than anyone else outside of their family, and that you, personally, have a special place in another person's life without being related to them. It's...it's a breathtaking idea.

None of my other friends seem to have a best friend either, so the only examples of them that I've seen is a couple of long-distance ones with a couple members of my family. The rest are all fictional examples.

So...can RL best friends ever be anything similar to fictional ones? And what does having a best friend feel like and mean to you? I really desperately want to know. I feel like I'm missing out on so much.

I'd like to know too. I've almost had a friendship like this but I blew it.

It's not really that amazing tbh. It's usually someone you're very, very comfortable with, to the point where you have very open communication with one another, and you can more or less count on them to back you up and vice versa. They basically stop being just friends and turn into family.

That sounds incredibly amazing to me. I've never had anything remotely like that in my life. How does it come about?

I dunno. Like most human relationships it varies. Don't go looking for a best friend, that doesn't work. Just cherish the friends you have and know which ones you can trust.

What's it like to have a friend in general.

So Ronery.

It's probably different for me because I grew up pretty much alone, so I tend to keep my friends pretty close. I have four "best friends". Maybe I'm doing it wrong. None of them really hang out with each other. Just me. I have probably 10 or so other really close friends, but I know we're kind of interchangeable with other friends? Idk. I count my best friends by people I have something really one-off with.

1. Friend since birth, see her once a year in person.

2. Friend since 4 years of age. Went through every level of education together, worked together, slept at each other's houses every weekend growing up. Can communicate only in movie quotes. Her entire family know me and invite me over for family-only holiday celebrations.

3. Much loathed former boyfriend of a close friend. Eventually realised after 5 years of arguing, we could just be bros. Now he's probably the closest thing I will ever have to a brother.

4. Moved to town when she was 15, got along really well and stayed in touch when she went abroad. She's back now and we're in such different places in life that it shouldn't work, but it does.

I am extremely fucking lucky to have the rock-solid friendships that I do. Friend 1 and I have lived on opposite ends of the country since we were really young, but idk. If you have that kind of friendship with someone, it doesn't matter. I can be lazy about calling for the entire year, and know that next time I see her, we're cool.

I don't have a close relationship with anyone but these people. My friends are my family, because my family are either dead or shitty. I've been without a home. I've been broke. I've been nearly catatonic with grief. These are the people who stuck by me through all of it. There's not a thing I wouldn't do for them, and I know it goes both ways.

I can be lazy about calling for the entire year, and know that next time I see her, we're cool.

you just resolved a great inner turmoil i had, thank you!

you're welcome! I think?

that line sounds unhealthy out of context >_>

to put this into context and without spouting walls of text, I've been drifting from my friends, but I realized that it's not worth angsting over

if we get into contact again and everything is still cool, as it often is after long periods of no contact, then cool, and if not, eh

I have been overthinking this (are we even close? we don't hang out that much; am I a bad friend? are they bad friends? do they no longer want to be my friends? do I even want to be friends? etc.), basically, and your comment put things into perspective (stop thinking so much and just go with flow, sheesh!)

It's not a great feeling. I'm not immune to it or anything, I've just mellowed a bit after the post-graduation "ARGH WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS GOING? WHY ARE THEY MOVING AWAY? WHY AM I SO ALOOOOOOOONE?" freak out. Not my finest moment.

I guess you just have to relax and remember they're still the same people. Just because you're doing different things and not finding much time for each other doesn't mean it's not the same friendship. That said, it is awesome to make plans after time apart. I'm all tingly and happy because I know next weekend a group of large men will break all of my ribs in enthusiastic bro hugs. My boys :') all grown up.

I am the wall o' text queen!

My best friend is somebody I'm always wanting to share new things with, somebody I'm always happy to talk to and listen to. They're the first person I go to when I need a friend - either somebody to celebrate my accomplishments, or comfort me in my failures. They're the one that knows me best. They're like me enough that we can take joy in things together, but different enough that we're always finding new things to do and talk about.

Granted, my experience is probably a bit skewed, since my best friend is also the one I'm boning; I have a hard time reconciling being emotionally close to somebody without the desire to be intimate, which is probably why I'm always shipping fictional BFFs.

I do think RL friendships can be as strong as fictional ones, but they're...a little different. You're an average person - you're not likely to go on epic, life-threatening adventures. Fire-forged friendship is hard to come by in real life. But that doesn't mean you won't go through shit that tells you who your real friends are. Just be open and be yourself; you can't make a best friend - best friends make themselves.

Do you have good relationships with any of your family members? It's sort of like that - a relationship where you know the other is there for you at the end of the day and vice versa, except there's more choice to it because there's no reason to trigger it (blood, obligation, what have you - not that family always works that way, but it can). It's not really something you can force, though - you just click, or end up sticking together and getting to know each other really well. For me it's not really at the exclusion of others either - there are at least three people in my life right now I'd consider on "best friends" terms with, and I care deeply for all of them, none at the expense of others (and they have other people in their lives they're on close terms with too - there's not really limits to love, though time and energy may be limited).

Not going to lie, it's pretty awesome. It's not exactly like fictional bffs, but then nothing in real life is exactly like fiction.

But honestly? If you have close friends and family I don't think you're missing out on too much. I don't have a lot of friends, honestly my bff is pretty much my one real friend - all others I'd say are more friends that have fallen into acquaintances. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to have more general friends instead of one super close awesome friend.

I guess essentially it's a friend that has been there so long and is so close that they've become family. The type of person you know you'll never get rid of no matter what (and I mean that in a positive way).

I have several casual friends and one Heterosexual Life Partner-type bff whom I loooove. It's amazing, and I feel incredibly lucky we chanced upon each other. We can talk about anything -- I tell her things I wouldn't even feel comfortable telling my family. It's sort of like being an old married couple, except you don't have to worry about things like keeping the romance going or whether you can make rent on time.

It's comforting to know you always have a person to hang out with in social situations, and who knows enough about you that you don't need to set up context when you have conversations about your lives.

The point at which it becomes annoying is when people start to see you as a unit, and assume you're basically interchangeable people.

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[ SECRET POST #2350 ]

What's it like to have a best friend?

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