fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2350 ]

[ SECRET POST #2350 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2350 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 135 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Not flames, just weird-ass reviews. Mine was something like 'mmmmm'. That was the review.

As a weird-review leaver allow me to translate that:

"This seems interesting, but I have yet to form a more structured opinion on this story. Let me read some more, and I might or might not leave you an actual coherent comment in the future."

I don't know, it could have been "mmmmm, tasty".

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-09 22:16 (UTC) - Expand

This 4-page dissertation that didn't even fit into one comment. It referenced everything from Shakespeare to T.S. Eliot and dissected every little metaphor and made me really uncomfortable because it seemed like the person put way more effort into the review than I did in the fic.

But that's not the weirdest part: the really weird part is that this reviewer had already submitted a 2-sentence comment to the effect that they didn't like the story much and the only good thing about it was it reminded them of some other fic. It's like they hit the submit button, instantly had an attack of remorse and went all-out to make it up to me -- when honestly, I wouldn't even have been all that upset by the original sentiment.

For the most part, I write smut, and I'm fairly well known in my fandom for it.

But then I get the people who clearly have no idea about any of that who write things like, "Too much sex in this" or "I was okay up until the part where they dirty talk to each other." Those are pretty hilarious, given that I tag everything, just to make sure people know what they're getting into.

I think my favorite, though, is this woman who reviews each piece I write with something to the effect of, "I really disapprove of smut, and you could be such a good writer if you didn't write it. Also, I grudgingly liked this piece."

that is kind of adorable

like, she keeps forcing herself to read just to review?

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-09 22:45 (UTC) - Expand

I received this for a Suzaku/Lelouch fic:

Great,I got idea,Lelouch and Suzaku both get Harems of Girls.

Lelouch have CC,Kallen,Milly,Shirley,Kaguyu,Rakghata,Sayoko.

Suzaku have Euphie,Cecile,Viletta,Nina,Cornelia.

They get a lemon with each girl.

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

galerian-ash.livejournal.com - 2013-06-09 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

fleshisyummy - 2013-06-09 23:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

vethica - 2013-06-09 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-10 05:27 (UTC) - Expand

'swet'

That was it.

Still don't know what to make of it.

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-09 22:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

deadtree - 2013-06-09 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

Back in the day, I wrote a Conrad/Yuri fic (Kyo Kara Maoh!). Despite the fact that the pairing was super-blatant -- with kissing and everything -- someone left the following comment:

Konrad/Yuuri

I'm quite sorry you dont seem to like this pairing.

To me, it sounds as THE most logical one.

Wolfram is a petty egoistical CHILD.
I thought he was the comedy relief, long with Gunter's crush.
oops. my apologies. but the comment stands.

as a funny thing, this fic is alright. And yes, Konrad's a little OOC

(In case you're not familiar with the fandom, Wolfram was the more popular character to pair Yuri with. However, he didn't even make an appearance in my fic.)

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

fleshisyummy - 2013-06-09 23:31 (UTC) - Expand

on a one-shot PWP smutfic I got "um, needs trigger warnings"

to this day I'm still pondering what I could have possibly needed a trigger warning for. There was no violence, no noncon. Just two guys, knocking boots, rated explicit, tagged for smut.

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-10 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

I wrote a super long story about the MC returning home for family reasons. He was from the American mid-west and I mentioned he grew up in a two story farm house. I received a dissertation long comment on how it is the fault of media that I thought there were two story farm houses there. There are no such things and why didn't I do a modicum of research before posting the story???

I based the MC's house on my grandmother's house. And there are two story houses where my MC lived. But I was incredulous that was the only thing she had to talk about in the entire review. Talk about your disproportionate responses! Totally pissed me off! (Apparently, I'm still angry about it? Hmmm...)

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-10 04:19 (UTC) - Expand

"It's hood. Er, good."

I thought I remembered having something weirder on that same story but I just went through all the reviews (holy shit 90+ of them? Augh people really liked this drivel?! D:) but couldn't find it. I wonder if the reviewer deleted their comment.

So, back in high school we had an assignment to write poetry based on The Scarlet Letter. I decided to put mine on FF.net as well. This was 2005.

Late 2011, I get a review for each chapter that was a summary of the respective poem. Like someone had written a three-line book report on each poem, and then gave that report to me. Who wrote it. There weren't any compliments, criticisms, or anything. Still my favorite reviews, ever.

My favorite of them:

"My review of this chapter is that Hester Prynne was writing a poem about an Artist who actually wrote this poem in Chapter this book we read this book at school in English classroom we still have to finish read the rest of our book before we can watch the movie about the Scarlet Letter."

I remember when someone reviewed one of my fics with a bunch of gushing comments both about the story and about the original canon, including [spoilers so names are omitted] "[name] and [name] are such loving siblings!"

...They never interact with each other in the canon, and you don't even know they're related until the very end. One of them didn't appear at all in my fic. Where did that part even come from?

"I don't like [one half of the main pairing]. This fic is good, but I still hate [character]."

Uh, thanks?

I got a review on a slash fic once where the reviewer said that they hate slash fics that use good plots and normally flame them, but that they weren't going to flame me because they liked my story. My immediate response was "So...thanks? I guess?" Apparently they didn't mind slash fics in general, they just hated when people used good plots for them, or something.

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-10 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

I got one a while back about my MCU fic in which Steve tells off a bunch of homophobic organizations for trying to appropriate his persona for their agenda. The title was playing on the difference between these groups' idea of "American values" and Captain America's values.

The review was a rant about how much the reviewer (not from the US) hates the idea that "American values" are the best values and hates the entire idea of Captain America as a superhero because it assumes that America is the best when it really isn't.

I kind of just sat there staring at it for a minute, wondering why the reviewer had chosen to read a fic about Captain America, and how, after reading said fic, they had managed to miss the entire point of it.

Re: Weirdest review you've ever gotten

kamino_neko - 2013-06-10 04:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-10 17:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cassandraoftroy - 2013-06-14 08:08 (UTC) - Expand

Back when delicious was a thing, I used to delicious myself, and I found where someone had bookmarked one of my angsty character death fics with five stars (with five being the best in their rating system) and then written, "OMG, don't read." LOL

On my first slash fic--in which there could be no question that these two guys wanted in each other's pants--someone left a very short review: "Is this gay?"

My reply: "Oh yes. Quite. :D"

It still gives me the giggles.

Response to a (girl/girl romantic) fanvid: ' is a girl!' My reaction: 'Uh, yeah, what gave it away? The title, maybe?'

- Someone saying they wanted to get something I wrote as a tattoo (I really hope that by the time they are legally capable of doing of getting a tattoo they've changed their mind. D:)

- Someone saying my story was good, and would I mind terribly helping them write a story in a fandom I didn't even know?

...

Once someone copied my entire fic and pasted it into the comment. No commentary just the fic. Then they started leaving that as a comment on OTHER people's stories.

somewhat related: when I was in high school and doing my sterotypical animu fangirl yaoi crap, on the last day of school, the guy who sat behind me in geometry tapped me on the shoulder and asked 'why do you always draw girls kissing?'

My strangest one said something along the lines of "I like your stuff and your favorite color is my favorite color and do you want to see some pictures of my dog?"

While the color thing seemed relevent, the dog thing caught me completely off the insane side. I was sick at the time, too, and I swear I just stared at it for the better part of an hour trying to figure it out.

For an OT3 fic:

Do you friggin know how messed up this story is...? I didn't even finish reading it. And even when I WAS reading it, I had an expression similar to this: T_T''

What do they do at night? Have a three way? That's messed up... Those relashonships don't work. At all.

Thank you kindly for your view on poly 'relashonships', I'll be sure to let all the poly folk I know that their 'relashonships' don't actually work. If you had reviewed while signed in, I would have explained that, yes, they do have three-ways. Or sometimes just two of them (in any combination). Or sometimes they spend the evening doing the sudoku. Or sometimes they spend time looking after their kids, once they show up.

I also find it mystifying that they apparently started to read, stopped because o noes surprise OT3s, when the summary LITERALLY SAYS 'Three was always stronger than two' and lists it as Link/Sheik/Zelda...

Edited 2013-06-10 11:54 (UTC)

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