fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2353 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2353 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Boy Meets World]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Firefly]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Hannibal]

__________________________________________________

05.

[BBC Sherlock]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Vocaloid]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Dept. Heaven]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Roger Federer]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Dogma]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Yu-Gi-Oh: Bonds Beyond Time]

__________________________________________________

11.

[Leonard Nimoy]

__________________________________________________

12.

[a song of ice and fire/game of thrones]

__________________________________________________

13.

[Dragon Age Origins]

__________________________________________________

14.

[Arrested Development]

__________________________________________________

15.

[Fall Out Boy]

__________________________________________________

16.

[Homestuck]

__________________________________________________

17.

[Joss Whedon]

__________________________________________________

18.

[Chicago Fire]

__________________________________________________

19.

[Homestuck]

__________________________________________________

20.

[Final Fantasy VII]

__________________________________________________

21.

[Enya]

__________________________________________________

22.

[Discworld]

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - IC secret? ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How do you "get help" for other people not paying attention to you?

Depends on why anon is being ignored. Is she not assertive enough? Are her social skills weak? Is she bad at reading other people's body language? Is she hanging out with people that she has nothing in common with?

There was this one girl who sometimes sat with me and my friends in high school and we often ignored her. Why? Because she generally didn't join in the conversation. And she didn't talk much about herself, so we didn't know what she was interested in. At some point we just gave up on talking her, wondering why she even sat with us in the first place.

She may really have not known how to join a conversation, and was trying to be social even if that only showed through her being there.

A social skills class in middle school or something would have been awesome :/

For me too. I may not have been the one getting ignored, but for sure my relationships would have been better if I'd've known how to deal with people better.

I wasn't actually aware that you could get help for being ignored. It seems more like it has something to do with other people than yourself. Maybe I'll look into that.

Although I will say that I do have communication problems since I'm not fluent in the language of my current country of residence. Maybe you've got something going on there.

Time for you to ignore the idiots above, OP. It's not your fault that some people suck, and there really isn't anything you can do about it.

If they are already ignoring you, then that is the first and biggest clue that they really aren't worth YOUR time.

Resigning yourself to "that's the way it is" doesn't make people evolve nearly as often as it makes them resentful, bitter and deviod of hope.

Did I say OP should resign themselves? I was going for "get new friends" but guess I should have stated that outright?

There are some people in this world (fortunately few) who take an instant gut dislike to some people, for whatever reasons; thing is, instead of taking a step back and examining why they feel this way, and actively trying to be better people and going out of their way to NOT treat the object of their dislike badly, they go with their first gut instinct, no matter how wrong it is, and they either ignore the object of their dislike (good outcome) or they actively try to get the person they dislike to go away (bully them, try to get them fired/transferred, etc. -- bad outcome) and all for no other (or even logical) reason than "I don't like you and can't even say why!"

My point is, THEY end up losing out in that situation, NOT the person they have taken dislike to.

OP not being fluent in the language is a whole other side to the situation however.

Fair enough, I believe I misinterpreted your comment then. I take back the stupid bit.

Cool beans. I didn't make myself clear enough, either.

Maybe, maybe not. When you already have poor social skills it can be fairly hard to tell.

Do you always talk about the same things? Are they interests that are yours that others have given no indication they'd share? Have you already done something that could make the group dislike you?

Doesn't mean they are great people you are hanging with, but you might have done all sorts of shit/sent out all kindsa signals/not sent out signals at all.

You mentioned it's not your language. Has that changed your attitude? You might present yourself very differently back home where you'd have a far greater confidence with your words.

A looooooooot of people making a whole lot of assumptions about OP's social skills. F!S, I thought we were better than this.

A: no we aren't and B: It's a fair thing to speculate on. It's not like the lot of us are known for being super popular and charismatic.

Sad truth, it's cause we relate and are projecting.

If being ignored happens just some of the time, what the hell ever.

If it happens most of the time, OP may have some social skills to examine. Ones that can be improved on once you recognize whatever it is that's going on, so yay!

I don't know if this is an option for you, or if you have tried it but have you considered taking a speech therapy or public speaking class? I used to kind of... fade? into the background because of a speech issue and other related neurouses. I didn't want to be seen because I was afraid of people. But once I took speech therapy classes I got a sense of ... confidence? self? I don't know how to describe it. I felt more comfortable taking up space and I think it made me project that so people registered me more?

nayrt

Your second paragraph there, that could have been me in high school. And I don't like making assumptions about the girl who sat with you, so here is my experience basically. People pretty much ignored me, I was being bullied at school by one the girls I sat with no less, I was being bullied at home as well, I was the victim and the other girls didn't know it or if they did, they didn't know how to handle it and when you are a teenager, it is a lot easier to ignore a problem if it doesn't involve you than to do something about it. And yes, there were some days I sat by myself. Most days, I sat with the group of girls I had little to nothing in common with and didn't talk or put forth anything (after being shot down so much why would I) because I was lonely. Sitting with girls I couldn't connect to was better than being by myself.

So, for your first paragraph, is there some sort of abuse going on? And do they even recognize it if there is? Sorry OP for any assumptions. I didn't recognize the abuse I was put through until very recently and high school was over a decade ago for me. I was raised dysfunctional. To me, it was normal.

[ SECRET POST #2353 ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

OP

Re: OP

No you are stupid

Re: No you are stupid

Re: No you are stupid

Re: No you are stupid

Re: OP

ITT

Re: ITT

Re: ITT

Re: OP

no subject