fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2355 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2355 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03. [repeat]

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[dangan ronpa]

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[Star Trek: Into Darkness]

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(Les Miserables, The House of Spirits)

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(The Scarlet Pimpernel)

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[Coupling]

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[Norma Bates from Bates Motel]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

31. [SPOILERS for Naruto]

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32. [SPOILERS for Defiance, Episode 7]

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33. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

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34. [repeat]

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35. [SPOILERS for OFF]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

36. [WARNING for rape]

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37. [WARNING for sexual abuse]

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38. [WARNING for rape]

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39. [WARNING for self harm, suicide]

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40. [WARNING for suicide]

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41. [WARNING for RL shootings, death]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How was what they said passive aggressive? It may be pathetic, but it's still a reason. Fandom can touch you in really powerful ways, the source doesn't really matter. The final result is profound entough.

I think what actually gets me about these situations is when they tell the actors. Because what do you even say to that. Or rather, I know what they say but it must be such a surreal mindfuck...

I'm not the person above but I just want to chime in for a second and say that you should consider the actor's POV too :/ Just imagine how it must feel to have someone tell you you are literally the reason they haven't killed themselves yet. Like, I have an uncle who's kinda well known where we live (not for acting or anything) and someone told him that once and my uncle seriously just shut down. You might think it's a flattering thing to hear but let me tell you, when you're actually put in that situation, it's not. Because you remember you aren't really anything special and someone who is already fragile is pinning their everything on you. At least from what I've seen, it's a lot more terrifying than it is humbling.

I realize how I must feel to people to be told that. Even when you're not famous people get told this and their whole being is put onto another person.

I don't really plan to ever tell him.

Yeah I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm afraid to make a public post about it because it's such a sensitive issue (and unlike the thread OP I don't think there's any pathetic reason to not kill yourself).

There's a story about James Doohan from Star Trek helping a suicidal fan, but the thing about that story is that she reached out to him for help and he responded. I'm not saying it was great, but he was involved and they interacted as equals.

When it's the idealized version of the actor in your head helping you, they're really not involved, and they don't need to be.

I think a lot of actors, especially in the geek circles, are more used to it. Look at James Doohan and his story about the young, suicidal fan that he only saw at conventions, who eventually became an engineer and overcame her depression thanks to him.

I think y'all are kinda being a douche. I mean, hell, did OP TELL McAvoy this at all? No, they said it here, in a fandom space. Fandom does a lot of things that freak actors out, and saying, "When I was in a dark place, this person was the light that I focused on to guide me out" is not one of them. OP isn't putting anything on McAvoy personally. Y'all really need to show a little empathy. Sheesh.

OP, you are not pathetic. And your coping mechanism isn't pathetic either. Whatever gets you through the day when your days are bad, whatever you think of to give you strength when you need to put one foot in front of the other, it isn't stupid. At all. To people on the outside, anything can look stupid, from celebrities to cartoon owls to therapy. They are not where you are. Even if they also have depression, they are still not where you are. What is important to you is important for exactly that reason, and it's fantastically brave that you've pulled yourself this much further, just one that one strange light. Good for you, and may your days get even better.

I don't think OP is pathetic at all, I think meaning is where we find it. I mentioned James Doohan in another comment - a relationship with a celebrity isn't the same as dozens of young girls telling an actor he's such an amazing perfect person that he kept them from suicide. I added the line about telling the actors because while I was defending OP, that was a situation in which I could see anons criticisms as more valid. OP has already said they don't plan on telling McAvoy and I'm very sorry that I implied that.

The truth is, you don't always have to play the devil's advocate.

A large part of empathy is knowing when not to.

[ SECRET POST #2355 ]

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