fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #264 ]

... wow, hi, you're my new best friend.

Both of my younger brothers, 16 and 14, are autistic. It's great when people take an interest in it, but fuck. Autism and other disabilities aren't a play thing. If you want to understand it, wanna make an original character with a disability, maybe write a fic about how a character possibly could have one, hey, that's rad. Spread the information around, make people know, but don't be a fucktard about it and start applying it to fandom characters obsessively, or especially applying it to yourself. You really wanna know if you have a form of autism, go to a fucking doctor and get a diagnosis.

you don't WANT autism or any other dissorder. I hate when people are like "lol i'm crazy! isnt that kewl! I shud be put in a asylum! ^__^" IT ISN'T FUN. especially for individuals like myself who have sever dissorders which really DO make them feel crazy and awful and misserable and like an outcast from society, unable to function and see differn't doctors so they dont have to keep cooped up in their house or be institutionalized. jhdbfhjsb fkbfka it makes me so mad.

See that's the thing about kids these days (wtf I'm 18 why am I saying it that way). They want something they shouldn't want, while people who do have them don't want them because it makes them miserable. Aside from ADD and a bit of OCD I'm perfectly normal, which isn't fair to anyone in my family. My mother suffers from stress beyond belief and depression because right now the government is trying to take my brothers' Medicaid away, along with the older of the two weighing well into 200 pounds and being able to easily hurt both us while my dad is at work for nine hours of the day. Meanwhile, the youngest is living at Damar in Indianapolis, because of behavior problems and violent tendencies caused by his teacher not knowing how to handle him, and in the end, hitting him.

People who want to live with this shit need to dive deeper and find out what kind of hell they're wishing for.

GOD, THANK YOU, SERIOUSLY.

I really freaking hate that train of thought. People who WANT or WISH they had certain disorders, especially after associating said disorders with a particular character or something... not only does it infuriate me, it just plain old confuses me. excuse me but why would you WANT THAT? IT'S NOT GOOD. NOR FUN. NOR INTERESTING. it is just hard. ):

people seriously amaze me sometimes.

To use the word my family says constantly, it is completely asinine. It's a horrible life, the end. I love my brothers to death, but oh my god I would much rather have annoying, normal, teenage brothers to terrorize me and do all that ... younger brother crap I hear about from my friends.

I simply cannot comprehend people sometimes. To want something that puts so much strain on a family, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially... They must already be insane.

ugh ugh ugh. as someone who can only speak to ADD, I can't even begin to know, though I do have friends with ADD siblings who tell me about how hard it is. ):

aslkjdfhajk but I do know how that kind of strain goes, even though it's not mental disorders, my family is its own showcase of odd and rare diseases/conditions and it is freaking not easy. I honest to god know how it goes and seriously sympathize with the government trying to take your brother's aid away, we've had so many problems with shit like that.

it just drives me up the walls. I don't think they think about wider ramifications in your family members, your friends, and how you just operate in the world, period, and how hard it can be. =/ it's just "oh hey I fit a few wikipedia-listed symptoms, that makes me special!" ...... no. think a little, first.

but best of luck to you and your family, by the way. ♥

It's stressful for anyone to have anything wrong with their family. We can share sympathy, while it may be for slightly different things. ♥ My mom's been fighting with the government for a lot of different forms of aid for years now, it's ridiculous. Things are expensive, and just because we make a little bit more than what they call the requirements, doesn't mean we don't still need the help. Speech, pull-ups, medication. This all costs shit, and we have other things to pay for, but like they care.

I like when you can have friends and an extended family that understand. My closest friends offline know how my family works, and thus are welcomed. They've even been accepted by my brothers, although that's probably scarring when the twits decide to get new pull-ups without an old one on, they're so comfortable with them. And my dad's side of the family is constantly prepared to help out, along with my mom's father.

But some aren't so lucky. It's a shitty life that they don't look further into, don't know the restrictions that a family has. You can't stay in a public area for long because of the risks of tantrums or other problems. It just makes me want to rip my hair out. They just don't think.

♥ Thanks, I'm certain my mom'll rip them a new hole and things'll get fine. The same to yours, if any problems arise.

♥ Oh man, the screaming fights my mom has had with some people. My local high school was DETERMINED to flunk my brother out for missing almost a month's worth of classes, back when he attended - he'd been diagnosed with arthritis that year and was sometimes in so much pain he couldn't move. =/ It's ridiculous, the kind of things you have to go through. >>; People don't realize how expensive it all gets. My family doesn't even have insurance, and things are even MORE expensive when you're self-pay. it's like they're TRYING to screw you over, sometimes, I swear.

Yeah, I know what you mean, though from a different perspective. A good childhood friend of mine has an autistic brother, and he's a really sweet kid, but he has trouble with outsiders sometimes - he and I got along, though. And my friends were always understanding of the things I went through, thankfully. My family, though. =/ extended, I mean. some were helpful, some were not. that was hit and miss. but your family sounds amazingly supportive.

exactly. those kinds of ramifications aren't things being taken, y'know, into consideration, I feel. I get the feeling they're not exactly worrying about how they will handle a classroom environment, or public interaction, or what have you. -_-

X3 your mom sounds like my mom, haha. thanks! ♥

Mothers can get vicious with people about these kinds of things. It's amazing. I swear, some of the things I've seen when she's gotten downright furious with someone over something... I'd never want to be any of those people. And I've even gotten nasty with people. I beat the shit out of someone that was harassing the middle brother, once. Really, I don't think they expected it, but I was justified and they deserved it. (My "punishment" was worth it, too. ISS is boring as hell but I can entertain myself with RP and general smut thoughts easy.)

We have insurance, but uh. It doesn't cover half of the stuff we even need it to. I'm at least happy that the school pays for my youngest brother in Damar, and our gas and meal when we go to visit him. Really it's their fault for hiring such an incompetent woman who can't understand how to handle a class of autistic children.

They're thinking about the private life, which in itself isn't much fun either. I can tell when my brothers get frustrated over not being able to communicate with us properly, and it's quite often. The handicaps really are that, people. Handicaps. Disabilities and conditions come with them, and they aren't fun, for the person who has them or the people around them.

My stepbrother is autistic, though were not close at all (I hardly see him). But my mom did tell me once that they got him a t-shirt he liked that said "I'm autistic, what's your excuse?" and I think that t-shirt sums up why some people "wish" they had a disorder. I occasionally feel so hideously awkward and socially inept that I wish I had an official disorder to justify it. That there was something genuinely wrong in my brain, not just that I suck at life. I mean, I'd still suck at life but at least I could have a scapegoat =\

No, believe me, I definitely know where you're coming from. It's hard NOT to wish for that kind of thing sometimes, when things have gotten bad and you have no one to blame but yourself. =/ and you realize it's a terrible way to think, but sometimes you can't help it. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything. XD; Excuses make things easier, right? They might not be the right thing, but they do make things easier. Wanting that sort of justification isn't wrong, it's a natural kind of response.

I'm talking more about the kind of person who actually, honest to god wishes they had a disorder, with all the symptoms, not for an excuse but just ... because? I've actually met people like that, and it's a little alarming, because you're asking for pain and a lot of trouble and hardship, and THAT makes me go ... =/

Yyyeah, my thoughts exactly. Autism is pretty much integrated in my family's life, so it's not like it's a "tabboo" subject for me, nowhere near something that shouldn't be discussed UNLESS YOU HAVE TOTAL KNOWLEDGE AND RESPECT or BS like that; the more people are exposed, absolutely, the better. It's just that it seems once fandom gets hold of it, it becomes something so highlighted and fantastical, so "HE IS" or "HE ISN'T" or "OMG DISRESPECTFUL" or "JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND" becomes the issue; whether people are taking it seriously or being jackasses who diagnose themselves, it all just almost never fails to become fucking ridiculous. I-it's like these discussions are almost NEVER actually "researching depth" or "trying to understand," it's like they've completely missed the point. If a character really was being written as an autistic, then that's something the author is keeping in mind; it may not be the function of his character whatsoever, just a part of them. But once fans get going on MENTAL DISORDER, I swear it's always the most counterproductive exchange of ideas ever because it's highlighted to the point of being an alien state of being, when really it's a disorder that people live with. And I am probably on a tangent by now, but!

Man, someone else with two autistic siblings? W-what are the odds.

Very, but not insanely so, slim. Hence why you are now my new best friend. ♥

I don't mind telling people that my brothers are autistic. If they don't know what it is, I give them the easiest-way-to-understand-it explanation, and hey if they have more questions, more power to 'em. I've lived with it for 16 years, I'll happily answer them. I can go out in public with my whole family and be completely unphased when the 16-year-old begins stemming and making noises, or when the 14-year-old starts to repetitively say "hi, hi, hi!" to anyone near us. After you live with it, you get used to it, but it's still a heavy pain to carry around.

However, you're right. Fandom takes everything further than it really should go. Everyone misses the point and the original meaning of the discussion is lost. I've seen quite a few characters that people have "diagnosed" as such, but it still is rather infuriating. There may be symptoms that the characters relate with, but seriously, people. They let it get too far and it becomes a huge, fucking pointless mess. Like they say, a person is smart, but people are stupid. You might have a few that are doing it seriously, simply considering all the "evidence" that may lead to it, but there is always going to be a mass group that does a 180 in asshattery to bring the whole thing crashing down.

It just gets worse when people start wanting to be disabled or going "hey, I match up with this symptom, I'm autistic, ace!"

Oh, don't worry, I think I've gone on an enormous tangent through this whole thread, lmfao.

And a Guy icon on top of it all! It's like destiny!

Same here; people actually can't tell one of my siblings is autistic, but the other is 14 and can't quite communicate. We're so used to dealing with it on a day-to-day basis, and I'm glad to discuss what it's like and go in-depth on quirks; hell, I'll brag about said 14-year-old's ability to kick my ass and yours at videogames. But yeah, discussions like that, or literary discussions on different interpretations of characters (as I was saying to someone else in the post, I'm not against alternate readings!) are p...pretty different from the widespread internets; hell, you can tell even in some of the responses to the secret that it's just. F-frustrating.

I'm pretty sure people who diagnose themselves based on symptoms from Wikipedia is the wwworst part. GOOD TIMES.

Oh if only this was greatestjournal, I would spam you with many Guy icons. And Jade. And Ion. And ... others! Yaey destiny!

The 14-year-old is higher functioning than the 16-year-old, but the latter of the two is more shut-in and antisocial. But he's the one going to speech, and it's doing him good. ~~Except when we have to answer to his repetitive "hi! how're you?" that he brings home.~~ I've tried to get them both to play video games, but alas. They just like to watch me play them. Or ignore me and go watch their Disney movies, rewinding certain parts to where I have them completely memorized. At the moment it's between Rock-a-Doodle's "we hate the sun, that much we know! we hate the sun so never let him crow!" and Jungle Book's "so what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "now don't start that again!"

Frustrating, yeah. I've given a good skim over the post and have to smack my head into the wall a few times. The only thing I can do is go T-TOLERATE lest I be forced to crack some skulls in. Alternate readings are delightful in some cases, but holy fuck my head. If it gets out of hand, I can't take it. Makes me TWITCHY or something.

GOOD INDEED those are the ones I want to slaughter a bit. Like I said, they wanna figure it out, go pay money to see a doctor. Waste their time. If they do have it, spectacular, wish granted! Have fun with hell.

[ SECRET POST #264 ]

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