fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2358 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2358 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Apparently 90% of people with Tourette's grow out of it by adulthood.

...Why am I always in the minority?

I hate it. It drives me crazy. It's an urge, like an itch that never goes away, but occasionally moves to different parts of the body and changes intensity. And you have to scratch it, you have to, because it itches. And when you do, if you can, it goes away. For a moment. For a fraction of a second. And if you don't, well...unlike an itch, it won't get bored and wander off. It'll wait forever if it has to.

Sometimes I'm forced to do things I physically cannot do. Touching the center of my palm with the thumb of the same hand. Humming in a pitch too high or too low for a human to reach. Other times, it hurts. The movements make me sore and it hurts for days. Then there's the times I can do it and it doesn't hurt but it's so noticeable, writhing, twisting, noises, and I look like a freak, everybody notices it, and they try to stop it, and they might mean well or maybe they're just annoyed but it makes me anxious, because I feel like I have to stop because these people are pressuring me and I can't -- and the pressure won't go away -- and while the tics aren't caused by anxiety -- they're always there, they always will be -- they can certainly be exacerbated by it.

There are others. So many others. Can't see, can't breathe. The worst might be when I can't speak. Sometimes, it's the throat, or the tongue, maybe even the abdomen, and I can't start a sentence, I can't finish a sentence, I can't--I can't--

It never stops

make it stop

please.

Is there any treatment or medication you can take? I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with this. :(

At this point I think I've been on every medication under the sun. The only one I can recall having any effect (which could easily have been a fluke) also made me gain weight quickly, and it's enough of a struggle to keep myself down to "pudgy" without having to counteract that. I've also tried acupuncture and hypnosis. No go.

I do know it's worse in spring/summer and better in fall/winter, but my emotions also get more intense in the warmer months, so my tics probably just rise and fall with them. Maybe I should move to Canada. :/

are you on haloperidol? It's the only thing that has ever worked for my brother's Tourette's, but it DOES work the vast majority of the time. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that, anon. I've seen how debilitating it is for him. *hug*

I don't think I've ever been on that one, but looking it up, I see it conflicts with...just about everything else I'm on. :/ I hate the medication shuffle. Been on all kinds of shit since I was eight and I can't count all the changes. All the times something just stopped working, all the times one had to be increased because of a side effect from another, then decreased because the FDA suddenly decided that a semi-related drug was dangerous. *accepts hug* I hope things are better for your brother though.

I just read in another comment you made that another drug made you gain weight, so I wouldn't recommend this one either if that's a big concern-- my bro has been on it since he was a very small child and it's only just been "discovered" that it causes massive weight gain he's also obese). There just doesn't seem to be a way to win, and I'm so sorry :( Don't give up hope, though-- just because there isn't something now doesn't mean there never will be. It's becoming a much more common condition so there are a lot more studies being done about it than there used to be.

I have nothing useful to contribute, I was just curious how many people stopped and tried to touch to the center of their palm with their thumb.

But sorry for you, OP. Hope you can find a better way to handle all that.

I am so sorry Anon. I had a childhood disorder that had a % chance to 'grow out of' by adulthood and I spent much of my childhood and teen years worrying about what I would do if it lasted all my life. I am really sorry you are the minority on this one and I hope that you can someday find a treatment or therapy that helps. *hugs*

I have nothing useful to say. Just that I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit and this post is going to stick with me for a long time.

I'm sorry that people aren't very understanding.

My best friend has pretty bad restless leg syndrome. When she has to do it, she has to do it. She's been kicked out of class for it before. Even after she was diagnosed because some of her teachers didn't believe it was a real thing. Ugh.

Have you tried telling someone that it causes you anxiety when they try to stop you? They may just think you can't stop yourself so they're "helping".

[ SECRET POST #2358 ]

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