fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2358 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2358 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's a long story, but today both of my parents told me I wasn't good enough to date a family friend's son, and it makes me feel like total crap. :( Especially coming from my dad (I'm used to that shit from my mom). Pretty much all my friends' dads would say it was the guy who wasn't good enough for their little girl, but no, mine has to say "yeah, he could do way better than you but that's okay". Just WTF?!

As long as I've known this guy he's only dated super skinny girls (which I'm not) and when I mentioned that to my dad, he was like "no, they don't have to be skinny, just not as fat as you". Again, WTF. I'm not even all that big, but apparently to him I'm huge and obviously way too fat for this guy to ever want to date. It's not like I even want to date the guy to begin with (he's a douchey dudebro frat type, which is...so not my thing. at all) so I guess it doesn't matter but it'd be nice if my parents didn't think he was too good for me.

I just want to cry. :(

Wow, none of those things are even remotely okay to say. I'm sorry, anon. If I were in your shoes I'd definitely get into their faces and call them on that bullshit.

Wow, your parents are schmucks. You don't deserve that at all. I'm sorry.

Your parents sound really toxic and cruel. Is there another family member you could talk to about their behavior? Somebody they respect who could tell them that that shit is not okay?

I'm really sorry you have to put up with that.

Oh wow, that's completely ridiculous. :( *hugs* I really don't know what to say, other than you're totally justified in feeling upset right now.

Your parents are fucking assholes. Sorry.

Fuck that noise. He's wrong.

Mostly because that's a terrible thing to say to you. But also, it's just so very wrong about the world. And about people.

Most people - at least the people best worth knowing - don't hook up based on league-tables and statistics. They don't earn or deserve each other based on a ridiculously short check-list. That's bollocks. People fall for each other because of random quirks, and odd attractions (like upthread) and finding places where their characters fit together in interesting ways.

In conclusion - that's bad parenting from your parents because it's bad for your self esteem, but they also lose at least 50 marks from the section on teaching your kids how the world works. Frankly, they fucked up the whole parenting thing royally today. You should dock their wages and be thankful that you have yourself, which means you've already got somebody awesome who knows better in your corner.

Also you should tell your dad a random chick on the internet thinks he should apologise for being a wanker.

This is an excellent comment. OP, listen to this person right here. They are correct.

If your parents are usually that shitty to you, you might consider breaking off the contact after moving out.

There's a lot of reasons parents say hurtful or nasty things. My parents did it under the guise of 'helping me', because y'know, yelling at a girl for hours on end about how she'll never get anywhere in life is so very constructive. Here's the thing - there will NEVER be a good reason for someone to maliciously attack you like this.

I can't say for sure, but it sounds like your parents are trying to guilt-pressure you into losing weight. Their comments are pretty deliberate and aimed straight at your self esteem. It's a controlling, manipulative tactic and the opposite of cool.

If they're doing this to you regularly, it might be worth your while to speak to a counsellor or therapist about it. This gives you an objective third party, someone on the outside to encourage you positively and to help you put these toxic comments into context and develop strategies to deal with them in the future.

*internet hugs if you'd like them* Try not to let it get to you, anon.

From where I'm sitting, it sounds like the only thing that would be bad about dating you would be getting stuck with douchenozzle in-laws. I'm sorry, Anon; what they said to you is completely uncalled-for and shitty. *hugs if wanted*

What the fuck?

I'm sorry your parents are such shitty excuses for adults, anon. :(

Parents should NEVER say anything that hurtful and toxic to their children, not even under the guise of "helping" them. It's wrong.

I hope you can find a way to get out of that enivornment one day, OP, it can't be doing much good for your self-esteem.

And if this guy will only date girls based on how much they weigh? He's a shallow douche who doesn't deserve YOU.

*hugs*

Your parents are assholes, and their opinion is invalid. I hope you don't take it to heart, and I also hope you point out to them that you have many wonderful qualities a potential boyfriend would value and it's unfortunate they lack the good judgement to see them.

[ SECRET POST #2358 ]

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