[ SECRET POST #2368 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2368 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

11. http://i.imgur.com/Bl4msg7.png

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who actually does have that kink...It's mostly because I find the dynamics interesting, and *that* does something for me more than anything else. IDK how to explain other than that though, sorry!

[(Anonymous)]

Basically THIS.

[forgottenjester]

I kind of don't get your question. It's a kink because some people find it sexy. You don't but others do. I mean, people find a lot of things sexy that one might not think about in a sexual sense.

And why would people mock you for asking about a kink? If you were being rude about it maybe but a serious question?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I meant I'd feel uncomfortable talking about it openly with someone whow does have this kink, because I be sure they'd be thinking: 'She obviously DOES have this kink too. In RL and everything. Why can't she'd just admit it so we can discuss it properly?' And I'd come across as a liar or a hypocrite or something...

[queerwolf]

A few decades older? Are we talking 30+ year age difference? In fiction, I can see why that much of an age difference would be considered a kink. Don't know if the same rules/criteria apply to real life though.

[galerian-ash.livejournal.com]

I think it should be pretty obvious why people find it "interesting"... When characters have a major difference in age yet still somehow connects to each other, it's just something that's really intriguing to explore (in fics or whatnot). And the "kink" part of it, well -- I can see where that comes into play, seeing how my favorite May-December pairing has an age difference of about 60 years, haha.

[(Anonymous)]

Who is the pairing, if you don't mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Keep in mind that, in a lot of things with fandoms, 'age gap' is on the scale of centuries or millennia rather than years or decades. I personally like that tag because it means the fic author in question has decided to explore what it means to have a thousand year old semi-immortal dating a human with a normal lifespan rather than just ignore it for the sake of fluff or smut.

[(Anonymous)]

I find this kink really cute, though strangely enough I hate it when the *guy* is older than the girl(in het fic at least).

[childings.livejournal.com]

Even though it's not my thing (because I like older men) I've played with the idea of an older woman/younger man relationship because it's not done as often as the reverse. It seems interesting

[(Anonymous)]

I have a physical cringe and yuck reaction when I see or read about these couples.

[(Anonymous)]

and I'm still a teen myself but I prefer to read about older woman/younger guy relationships *flops*

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is a cropped screen-capture of the website "Fanlore" and the simple picture of a smile with question marks around it.]

I recently saw age-gap relationships in a list of fandom kinks. I'm married to someone a few decades older than I am, and several of my favourite ships have a similar age gap. But it's not a kink of mine. It's pure coincidence.

In fact I'd really like to understand why this is even considered a kink or interesting trope...

Secret because: How can I even discuss this with anyone without being judged?

[childings.livejournal.com]

I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that older people typically have more life experience than younger people? Depending on the age of each character it can be like, a loss of innocence thing or coming of age thing or something too... it's hard to explain the appeal, especially for someone attracted to older men in real life who likes fiction with relationships between younger women and older men (I thought this was fairly common but considering how F!S has made me feel like a creeper in the past I get self-conscious about it now). It's creepy as hell to a lot of people but I also like the whole "learning" aspect of sexual relationships with a significant age gap

For what it's worth, there's ten years between me and my spouse as well

[quietdragon]

Aww, I'm so sorry FS makes you feel that way. ;^;

Especially because in real life, there are cases when someone could be decades younger than their spouse, but still have more life experience than the older one, especially if the latter was more sheltered. Or they might even be roughly on the same level.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, for some people it’s just the dynamic (people at different stages in their lives connecting). For others, it’s that plus other issues that are not inherent but sometimes connected (teenager/adult can be illegal depending on ages, student/teacher can be against the rules depending on the school or college or illegal depending on ages, person/parent’s friend or parent of a friend has it’s own issues).

[siofrabunnies]

It's not necessarily a kink, but it can be taken to that level. A lot of things have kink/real distinctions. Like, teachers are real, and most people don't want to do their math teacher, but there's also that whole student/teacher thing that's actually a thing, you know?

As for why, I find it interesting both from a kink and trope perspective. I like power imbalance in my sexytimes, and age can factor in to that, in terms of "experience", etc, especially when added to other sexy elements.

I also like (well, not enjoy, but I find it interesting) reading about everyday, non-sexytimes age-gapped relationships, because of things like: "Will you still love me after the pepper has left my hair and it's all salt?" "Of course, I will, dear. If I cared about that, I'd care about the bald spot you can't see." It's cute.

[(Anonymous)]

Mostly because its not really normal, per se. And by that I mean uncommon, not wrong or anything. I happen to have this kink - mostly because I tend to sexualize mentor-student relationships. I guess that's more my kink? I have no idea how I'd feel about a couple that met like a same-age couple (like in a bar or something) that had a large age gap.

[(Anonymous)]

It grosses me the hell out, so I can understand how it could be someone else's kink. It's not the routine course of events in most of our society so is looked upon as "other" thus making it fair game for kink.

[pantasma]

Kinks are such interesting things. Sometimes, it seems like people think kink=fetish, in fandom. In this case, there seems to be a pattern of power play, of some form or another. There's power play in any relationship but this trend can take it to the extreme, like it's turn-of-the-century England, or something.

Anyway, I was in the same boat as you, for a bit. Not a kink, just happenstance. No judging, here!

[(Anonymous)]

I don't always like this kink, but for me it's some of the following: the older half "teaching" the younger half things, the older half having to be gentler, more considerate, and careful with the younger half, the younger half taking charge of the older, more experienced partner in the bedroom, differences in sex drive, younger half getting 'taken care of' by the older half, etc.

These are all really stereotypical and probably don't happen as often irl, but well that's why it's a kink and not reality.

[tenlittlebullets]

Eh. Some people kink on things that are completely vanilla or unremarkable parts of other people's love lives. Lots of guys kink really hard on the idea of f/f action; that doesn't mean lesbian relationships are inherently kinky by any means, just that some dudes have a Thing about it. Or, to take a less fraught example, I don't have a foot fetish or get off on any fantasies involving feet, but damn do I happen to have nice nerve endings in my toes and appreciate some attention there. Other people have explained all over this thread why someone might kink on the idea of age gaps in relationships, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your relationship, and it doesn't somehow make your relationship inherently age-gap-kinky when the age gap isn't important to you.

[dentedsky]

For me the kink is old farts fucking young farts, ie old hands touching young soft skin.

[(Anonymous)]

"a few decades"

Yeahhh... and you have no clue why this could be a kink? Because lots of old guys want young, "sexy" wives they can feel superior to concerning life experience and also it's a nice trophy to brag in front of their male friends. Then there's this entire daddy/girl dynamic, which personally creeps me out but lots of people find it hot.

And older woman/young man is not as tolerated in our society. So that's another kinky aspect in itself.