fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2374 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2374 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[A7X]

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[Archer]

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[x-files]

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05.

[Danisnotonfire/AmazingPhil]

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[Earth2]

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[Saving Hope]

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[Kim Coates]

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[DeliciousCinnamon]

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[Moyashimon]

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[Lucy Lawless]

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[Richard Armitage]

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[Chuck]

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[Keeping Up Appearances]

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[Star Trek]

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[Hannibal]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 035 secrets from Secret Submission Post #339.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It seems cruel, but there's no way to tell the difference between someone with actual severe problems and someone manufacturing those problems for attention on a fandom site.

If you don't actually have a relationship with a person, it's generally a good idea to give them very generic advice (seek help, here's some resources) rather than really engaging them. Too often these turn into a circlejerk where everyone believes them wholeheartedly absent of proof or real insight into what is always going to be a deeply individual situation, and if the person actually needs help that can really hurt. That doesn't help them actually seek help, it just makes them return to the fandom site for validation. Validation isn't necessarily help.

I was deeply depressed in high school. I cringe to imagine what could have happened to me if I'd talked about it on a message board and had lots of people tell me that yes my parents are terrible, yes I'm going to be sad for the rest of my life, yes the world is against me, yes everyone in the world cares that you're fat, yes some of us handle our pain by cutting I mean we're not suggesting you cut but hey look at these pictures of me cutting myself...

Edited 2013-07-04 02:32 (UTC)

This - plus, after a while it really starts wearing on the person doing the supporting.

I suppose you're right on that front. I DO want to give them validation, but I just want a middle ground between telling them what they want to hear and telling them to just grow up and get over it. Or just flat out saying nothing.
And I suppose generic advice is the best middle ground I'm gonna get.

Yeah. Again, if you have an actual friendship with the person that's different. I'm talking about strangers/acquaintances.

In most situations, the internet isn't going to be the best place for these people to seek help (unless it's an online group specifically for people who need help).

I should modify what I said: I've found great advice places like this to deal with depression/melancholy/whatever you want to call undiagnosed moodiness. But I'm not self harming or suicidal and never have been. When people start talking about serious issues and are not just looking for basic coping advice, that's when you worry. "Hey I'm sad, help me cheer up" shouldn't worry us so much.

But why would anyone react that way? Am I just not experienced enough in certain circles of the internet - are there seriously areas where people respond with "you're going to be sad forever and the world is against you?"

I went to support forums for self injury and eating disorders and made amazing friends and a support network and never encountered that type of attitude. I'm wondering now if I just really lucked out.

[ SECRET POST #2374 ]

There might be a reason they're getting little to no response.

Re: There might be a reason they're getting little to no response.

OP

Re: OP

Re: There might be a reason they're getting little to no response.