[ SECRET POST #2387 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2387 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #341.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

How...

[(Anonymous)]

FS, how did/do you...ask someone out. And if it goes wrong, how do you save face?

/can you tell this is awkward for me to ask.

Re: How...

[vethica]

Through LJ comments. Paraphrased:

Him: No one will ever like me.
Me: I can think of someone.
Him: ...Huh.
Me: Yeah.

This probably isn't applicable unless they give you an opening like that, but it's the only experience I've got. :\

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

that is really cute.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

I did this once when I got that kind of opening with a boy I liked, except he stopped talking to me after that.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

Tell them you need to show them something really awesome. And you can't tell them what it is, you have to show them. They need to see it for themselves.

If they agree to go, take them to the edge of a steep cliff or the end of a pier. And then you've gotten them to go out with you! And if something goes wrong despite that, push them off the cliff or the pier. And if it doesn't, tell them you wanted them to see the view.

Re: How...

[morieris]

I like you Anon. Just...not that way.

Re: How...

[deadtree]

A+ advice will try

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

Asking someone to the movies is usually fairly low-pressure, I think. Movies are fun, you don't have to talk to them during it, and then afterward you just hang out and talk about the movie.

If they ask if it's a date or not and you get flustered, you can offer to invite a few other mutual friends, if you have any. But, uh, not exclusively other *couples* please, I've been on that date and it's super awkward.

And if they say no, then just say okay. I doubt they're going to go "no, I never ever want to spend time with you".

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

"Hi, my name is [insert name here] do you want to go out some time?"

And if they say no then you go "okay, see you around then".

And then move onto the next person at the bar and repeat until you get a yes.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

If you get rejected learn how to teleport. Like Nightcrawler.

Oh, so, you don't want to got out with me. Okay. BAMF! POOF! GONE!

It's better than having to slink away with your tail between your legs.

Re: How...

[elaminator]

Excellent plan. Must research teleportation...

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

Did Nightcrawler grow a tail from constantly being rejected?

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

I only have experience doing this online, but I wrote up a little speech thing in a word processor and then asked them over IM "Hey, do you mind if I talk to you about something serious for a second?" and then transcribed my speech so it wasn't obvious I was copy and pasting it. Kind of a dorky way, but it worked out.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

So I met this guy during a training class for work, and we were bored and got to talking about South Park and that episode with the fortune-telling paper flower girls make in elementary school to predict which boy they're going to marry. At the end of the day, he handed me a fortune-teller he made from a Post-it that had his number and "Will you go with me yes/no?" on it. Given our conversation, I found it adorable.

Also I did end up marrying him, so I guess they're good at what they do. XD

tl;dr, go for something endearing and personal, if possible

Re: How...

[badass_tiger]

Oh gosh that is so adorable!

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

"Hey, you seem awesome. Wana go out for coffee/lunch/dinner/movie sometime?"

[wait for answer]

If yes: "Woohoo! I mean, how's this Friday sound?"

If no: "Well, I'm disappointed, but that's cool. *changes subject*"


But to be honest, if you're worried about saving face then that really conflicts with the whole risk inherent in asking someone out. You can minimize the risk of looking like a tool, but you can't make it go away. The best thing you can do to try and save face is to accept rejection graciously and carry on the way you did before.

This means no (public) moping, no conspicuously avoiding them, etc. And I hope this goes without saying, but it definitely means no trying to guilt-trip them or make them feel bad about saying no.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

Wtf, are you fucking royalty or why is getting rejected equal to "losing face"?

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

If you lose face then you've got to club her to death to stop her bringing shame upon your family by telling people she turned you down. Of course if she says yes, then her dad has to club her to death otherwise he'll lose face within his community for letting her go out with you.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

Would you prefer OP had said "without feeling too embarrassed" or do you have to be royalty to have feelings? It's an innocuous phrase, geez.

Re: How...

[(Anonymous)]

You seriously don't get why being rejected can be humiliating or embarrassing or make somebody feel shame and embarrassment?

Refuge in audacity

[insanenoodlyguy]

YOU! I BELIEVE OUR GENITALS WILL BE COMPATIBLE! LET US TEST THIS THEORY IF LESS INTIMATE SOCIAL ACTIVITIES PROVE PLEASANT FOR ALL!

Honestly though I find straight up tends to work best. "Hey, you wanna (activity you have thought of) with me some time?" Make it clear it's a date if activity could be misconstrued otherwise.

No Noodles...

[al28894]

Don't channel Karkat Vantas here. It's bad for you.

On another note: pretty much agree with you on the second part.

Re: How...

[al28894]

I... never have this problem, mainly because the girls in my course usually ask me out for lunch and dinner (and movie shootings...)

Try and make small talk first. See if you and your partner/date can establish some sort of base before asking her/him out. (note: it's better if you make your small talks last for a while to get her/him more comfortable with you)

da

[(Anonymous)]

and on a related note, how does someone decline being asked out and save face? :S

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

I don't. I just date them for a month and then they dump me for being me. Works every time.