case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-07-21 03:32 pm

[ SECRET POST #2392 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2392 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't feel sorry for your drug-addicted cousin? At all?
wldcatsprstr_14: (Default)

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[personal profile] wldcatsprstr_14 2013-07-21 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I think they mean that they can't have sympathy for someone who killed themselves with drugs when someone having killed an innocent with drugs is so close to home.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Probably. That comment about the baby really struck me personally so I'm a bit rattled. Sorry.
wldcatsprstr_14: (Default)

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[personal profile] wldcatsprstr_14 2013-07-21 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Nah, it's cool. I had to read it twice before I got the connection too.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-21 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry about that. That happened recently and I'm (obviously) upset about it. The idea that I'm supposed to feel bad for the person who made such a mess of their life, as opposed to the people who suffered from their actions, is sickening.

This actor chose to take drugs. He made a mess of his life by consistently making bad choices, which led to predictable outcomes. I don't feel bad for him. I feel bad for his parents, his siblings, and his SO.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't seem like he did make consistently bad choices, though. He started doing drugs when he was very young (13), probably too young to know any better. He voluntarily checked himself into rehab at least twice, and by all accounts was trying quite hard to overcome his addiction and go clean.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel sorry for drug addicts right up until the point where they murder their child. Then I'm pretty much out of sympathy.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
+1. Just like I have sympathy for alcoholics until one of them gets drunk and kills someone with their car. No excuse.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
AYRT
I can understand feeling angry and bitter about that kind of thing, but I don't get having zero sympathy whatsoever. I'm drawing from my own well of experience however as someone who both lost a child and is an addict in terms of cutting and alcohol, so I'm just thinking there's probably more layers to the story than a couple of words. The level of vitriol is really startling to me.

I shouldn't have gotten involved in this thread and I'll just take my exit now.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
na

I understand how your personal experiences factor into this, but you should also remember the person who made the original comment is grieving for an infant that died due to their mother's drug abuse so the hurt and resentment they feel towards their cousin is understandable. I know the situation is different, but when my father killed himself it took me a long time to get past the "I'm angry that you shot yourself and didn't care enough about me to stay alive" stage and reach the "I'm still angry that you killed yourself, but I now also realize that you had serious emotional problems and I wish that we could have gotten you help for them" stage. A very long time.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
What makes you think the mother is also not grieving? Sometimes people DO end up killing children in terrible accidents, and presuming they're not sociopaths this is about the worst guilt a person can live with. Imagine the horror of coming out of a high and realizing you've done that. The system failed this woman on many levels...including letting her care for a child she was utterly incapable of caring for.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt

I never said that the mother isn't grieving as well, I was just pointing out that people say a lot of things out of grief before they're able to look at a situation objectively and with more understanding. It's a terrible situation all around. She deserves to be culpable for her child's death but at the same time, I hope she is getting drug counseling and therapy in prison (because, well, I'm assuming she's in prison) and that eventually she is able to find, if not absolution, then at least forgiveness from the people she's hurt with her actions.
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

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[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2013-07-22 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
That is asking more then any person should ever be asked to give.

Aside from the one hurt person that can never be asked, the rest might find pain in that person ever showing their face again. Unless somebody specifically sought them out again, they should probably fuck off forever. Maybe start anew somewhere, but they don't deserve that past life back.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
That woman is not owed forgiveness from anyone.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
Here's the thing - No one *has* to feel bad for the mother.

She killed her child due to her reckless and irresponsible actions. Her feeling bad about it afterwards doesn't change that.

Maybe the system did fail her, but she failed her child more.

That child is dead. No amount of grief will make that better.
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

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[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2013-07-22 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
It honestly doesn't matter at that point. You killed your own child and feel bad about it? Good. Feel bad forever. You should. But live. Live a long and miserable life.

If you try to kill yourself I'll do my best to ensure you stay alive, knowing this about you. That's my sympathy. That's all the sympathy somebody who kills their child by their own negligence/weakness deserves.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-21 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
No. I do not feel for that murderous bitch. Not one little bit.

I feel sorry for the dead baby. I pray for him.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
She actively chose to kill him, when sober, with premeditation?

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
That's really none of your business.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
No. However it is relevant. Because those are two completely different things.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
Not where I live.

Where I live, if a child is in your legal custody, failing to provide the necessities of life is pretty much the equivalent of murder.

Maybe not premeditated murder, but still murder.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-22 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't matter if she was sober or not. She still murdered a baby who wasn't old enough to walk.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
It actually matters a great deal. Perhaps to you it doesn't, because you are so close to it, and obviously upset. However, it does matter. It can be the difference between murder and manslaughter, even if you personally do not see it that way. In taking a life, intent and premeditation DO matter, otherwise murdering you wife in cold blood or running over a stranger on a dark rainy night with near zero visibility would be the same thing.

You do not have to have sympathy for her, nor do you need to forgive her. But that does not mean she is is beyond sympathy and forgiveness. It doesn't mean I do not hope the court will treat her case justly and compassionately.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
Actually, when a child is in your custody, failing to provide the necessities of life is pretty much considered murder. At least where I live.

Premeditation might matter in court, but just because it wasn't premeditated doesn't mean it wasn't murder.