[ SECRET POST #2392 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2392 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Trusting people

[(Anonymous)]

I realize this is kind of a dumb question, but... how do you trust people?

Recently I've been going through a stage of doubting everything about myself (my beliefs, my sexuality, my goals in life, etc.)

And I've realized that my biggest issue is not whether I'm gay or bi or straight or nothing at all, it's my MASSIVE pile of trust issues.

I don't have any close friends. (I did have one or two best friends as a child, but I moved a lot and left them behind.) As soon as somebody shows any kind of romantic interest in me, I run for the hills. I haven't been in a serious romantic relationship. I'm a bitter cynic.

I want to be emotionally close to people. I really want a best friend, or a lover, or both. But I'm afraid and the my first instinct is to run away.
I wish I wasn't like this.

How do I stop being such a silly neurotic pile of angst?

Re: Trusting people

[making_excuses]

The thing about trust is that for some of us it does not come easy, for me it is about trying to share, share my thoughts and feeling and in return get the person I am talking with's thoughts and feelings and taking smal steps, and remember that trust is not something that you should test or try out or see if a person is trustworthy by doing something and then going "aha! I knew s/he couldn't be trusted".

Finding people to spend time with is at times hard, but it can also be easy, it depends on how you go about it and what your situation is.

If it is easier for you to get to know people online, do that! You can find a lot of wonderful and amazing people on the internet whom you over time can end up trusting, or you can start spending more time with people you know and like?
There is also a possibility to join a group of some kind relevant to your interest?,

When you socialise with more people you will in the end find someone you can trust, and it will not happen over night, love at first sight is a fairytale and like everything trusting someone is both a leap of faith and time consuming. Just take smal steps and you will get there in the end , I am sure of it OP!

And if you ever need anyone to talk to you are welcome to PM me here, or look at my profile and find my other contact details, and I promise you, you will not bother me and I will get back to you and be honest and try to answer anything to the best of my abilities.

Re: Trusting people

[thene]

imo it's at least partly a crapshoot of finding people you WANT to trust and be close to - no one just clicks with everyone, and it's not like we consciously choose who to feel close to. It is governed heavily by what you're prepared to share, though; friendship seems to happen when one finds a kind person who you're able to open up to about important things. It sounds like that process is what you're running away from, because it makes you feel vulnerable. Seriously though what is the worst that can happen when you try to get close to someone? (lack of validation, I guess, which is annoying not the biggest deal in the world.)

/$.02

Re: Trusting people

[(Anonymous)]

I...don't really have any answers. I'm kind of like you in that I just flat out don't trust people, and generally expect them to screw me over no matter how close we are emotionally. [In fairness, this comes after having actually having been through it from some people I was very, very close to doing just that.]

The best I can say is to not run away if you can help it and just...let it happen. Which, is no help - sorry.