fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2395 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Most Popular Girls in School]

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03.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

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04.

[Gerard Way and Frank Iero]

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05.

[Mastumoto Jun]

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06.

[Macdonald Hall]

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07.

[Downton Abbey]

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08.

[Generator Rex]

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09.

[Neil Oliver]

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10.

[Star Trek]

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11.

[Star Trek: TNG]

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12.

[The Vampire Diaries]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Both, really.? I mean in a way I find sahm even more risky because you're even more vulnerable if your partner would leave.

It's not that I don't respect it (I couldn't do i) but it's more the part about being an adult who is still financially dependent on someone else in this context.

Also I don't really see having kids as a goal, just something you might or might not do on your own journey. And if you're passionate about kids, then I don't get that you don't channel that into teaching (at least part-time). But really, that might just be me.

na

for some men and women, having a family is their main goal in life and I don't really see what's wrong with that. furthermore, being a good parent does not necessarily mean that someone would be a good teacher or that they would even have an interest in becoming one. they are two different things. It would make more sense if you said "maybe they should work part time at a day care" but even then, there's a big difference between caring for and loving your own child and caring for someone else's

This.

I'm a parent of two children and I love them more than anything but I would be a shitty teacher. And I have friends who are teachers who have no interest in being parents.

not everyone has the same values or desires as you, or shares the same goals as you

just because you don't consider having kids a goal, that doesn't mean it can't be a goal for someone else. just because you think that you can fulfill a passion for kids by teaching, someone else might not think that. just because financial independence from your spouse is deeply important to you, it might not mater for everyone.

you realize that, right?

>just because financial independence from your spouse is deeply important to you, it might not mater for everyone.

Sure, but we were discussing things that make you wonder about people's plan B, too. In which case I find financial independence sort of vital. What are you going to do if your provider no longer provides, they leave you, die, get fired, whatever...

There tend to be legal options in place for this.

Also, if you are a homemaker you are not "totally financially dependent" the same way a child is. You are contributing to your household just as much as your partner is. I don't disagree that they should have a fallback plan, or at least a way to make some kind of money if the worst happens, but I feel like you're looking at the issue with a level of scorn? (I could be wrong, sorry if I am misreading.) Being "financially dependent" the way a homemaker is, in a household where they and their partner agreed on what each person's contributions would be, is not a thing to be ashamed of. They are pulling their weight.

It wasn't about pulling their weight, I'd just be really neurotic if I did not have my own income, even if lower than my partner. But then we separate finances completely.

As long as you recognize that not everyone feels that way about finances. I'm glad you're able to do what makes you happy and comfortable :)

WOW.

Just because someone chooses to be the one to stay home and care for the house (or house and kids) doesn't mean they aren't an adult. This attitude is no better than the people who act like single childless people aren't adults until they're married with kids.

THIS

Wait, what? When did I say they weren't adults?

OK, I misread up there where you said "It's not that I don't respect it (I couldn't do i) but it's more the part about being an adult who is still financially dependent on someone else in this context."

So, apologies on that, but you do really seem to be pushing this idea that people who make these choices are somehow less-than. They're not living up to their potential. They must not have any ambition. They must not have any passion. (Slight inference: They must be lazy for not turning their contentedness with raising their kids into a teaching or day care career.)

And that is just, I find, not the case for a lot of people.

You're making a few assumptions.

The financially dependent thing was relevant to the original question, which was'well do you have any thoughts about what you'll do if that doesn't work out?'

The ambition statement was originally more general: I do indeed not understand it if people have no ambition. I do think this is true for at least some stay at home parents, though, if I'm honest. But it's also true for some bank employees.

I didn't infer they were lazy, it's more about limiting yourself, I guess. Why would you stick to just that if your ability to take care of kids gives you skills you could use for other things, too? And why not take into account the job market at all, if only for later?

It's been said before by other people, but because you have no desire to take care of other people's kids?

I guess the long and the short of if is you don't have to want to do it, you don't have to understand it, but looking down on it in the way that seem to be doing is very judgmental in a bad way.

[ SECRET POST #2395 ]

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