fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2395 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Most Popular Girls in School]

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03.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

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04.

[Gerard Way and Frank Iero]

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05.

[Mastumoto Jun]

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06.

[Macdonald Hall]

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07.

[Downton Abbey]

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08.

[Generator Rex]

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09.

[Neil Oliver]

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10.

[Star Trek]

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11.

[Star Trek: TNG]

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12.

[The Vampire Diaries]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

LOL You clearly have no idea what it takes to be either a parent or a homeowner.

Oh you think the vast vast majority of people with kids and who work full time, are bad parents.

Interesting.

DA. But other people are home owners, parents, AND have jobs. Both my parents worked quite hard (though my mom party got to choose her own hours, so that helped) and still managed to raise me well. From that perspective, I just really do not see how it's a full-time job, especially once the kids are old enough for kindergarten.

how do you know you weren't raised horribly though? Maybe you'd have been way better off with parents who actually took the time to raise you instead of teaching you that material wealth is the only important thing.

Look at the pathetic poor right here.

Tell your parents/you to get jobs.

Because I had a lovely childhood? Because my parents spent the time they had with me actually doing fun stuff? Because you parents are not the only adults who can help raise you, or who you can have a relationship with? Because I actually liked going to kindergarten?

The funny thing is, I'm poorer than my parents were, because they taught me to follow my dreams, not wealth. And my dreams are not great for the wallet. So yeah, not all people work because they're money-hungry. Some people work because they like it.

Maybe My childhood would ALSO have been good with a sahm, maybe not. I think it depends more on the people than on the setup.

You may not have been raised horribly, but your parents didn't take care of you full-time. I also bet they didn't clean as well as a stay at home parent.

Hahaha! At least the trolling is mildly funny this time around. Now we've got housecleaning in the mix. (Although, maybe the working parents hired maids to clean, y'know?)

SA.

Yeah, so what?

I got to spend time with my cool grandparents, or with my auntie, or at my friends' houses. As for the house, it's not a hospital. Who cares if it's a bit messy?

I do not get what the added value of those things would be, at all. In fact I think it would have detracted from my happiness and variation in my life.

I had a stay-at-home mother and my parents were hoarders :) SAH =/= big on cleanliness.

ETA: also what below anon said - you might want to read up on the relationship between over-cleaning and asthma before having kids, at least.

Edited 2013-07-25 01:33 (UTC)

oh nonny, I really hope you're trolling and not planning on being a full time parent who drowns their kid in hand sanitizer and cleaning fumes.
What with this and the thread about not being able to shit in public I'm feeling pretty good about my mental state today.

LOL. Both of my parents are professionals and worked full time. My mother is a psychiatrist and worked hard to get where she was, and worked hard when she was there. But she never spared time for us (neither did my dad) and our house was always clean (sure, us kids had to help with the chores - but fuck the parents out there who don't have their kids help out around the house). Cooked meals, went to our activities, went on vacations...

But the most valuable thing my mom did for me was have a job. She was the sort of person I could really look up to, as a girl myself. She did everything.

I'm sorry, but I honestly don't feel I'd look up to my mom as much if she were unemployed. I'm not the OP and hey, I really think families can make their own choices and if they can afford single-salary, or if there's a pressing need for one parent to stay home - for example, small children in need of daycare, disabled children, taking care of elderly parents, whatever - that's awesome. But no, I don't have to admire your decision to not work and stay home all day, "cleaning", when your kids are in school all day. Do what you want, but I'm not going to look up to you.

^having an SAHM just showed me that I do not want to ever ever be an SAHM. It just seemed like the worst kind of life.

Fuck that shit. My mom was a SAHM for most of my childhood. You're basically implying that she's less of a person or less worthy of admiration than a woman who chose to work full-time.

Fortunately I am able to understand that not everyone has to be like my parents. It's almost like if your mom weren't a full-time working woman, you wouldn't be able to understand that full-time work is a valid option for women. As for me, I don't know what I want to do yet, though I'm pretty sure I want a career of some sort...I might prioritize family time when my (as-of-yet nonexistent) kids are very young, but I think I will work more than my mom did. That doesn't mean I can't look up to her, though; she's a wonderful woman who taught me a lot and has outstanding character.

It's funny that you are the person equating career choices with personhood here. No one said your mother was less of a person. They just said her career choice wasn't that great. You're the one who's being unable to separate the two.

My mother was mostly an SAHM (she got a very part-time job after a while, only two short shifts a week). I don't think she's less of a person than me but I do think her life was unnecessarily limited and miserable and that the financial inequality contributed to an awful marriage.

but I honestly don't feel I'd look up to my mom as much if she were unemployed.

Nope, that wasn't me.

but I do think her life was unnecessarily limited and miserable

I'm truly sorry if she was miserable. That said, your mom =/= all SAHMs.

No. Just...no. I'm a SAHM but that doesn't make me some sort of SuperParent and it doesn't make my kids better than their friends whose parents both work or who only have one parent. Most of the kids in my children's classes do not have a SAHP but are still well cared for, live in clean homes, and are just like the kids who do have a SAHP. Working parents aren't automatically negligent, just as SAHP aren't automatically superior parents.

I'm a mom and a homeowner, and I don't need to not work to keep my house clean and my children fed, thank you. And judging or not, but when it comes to my kids, I value showing them that following ambitions, working hard and being able to live independently are things to strive for.

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