fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2408 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2408 ⌋

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I had class today, so I had no choice but to leave my room/the building/campus. Nothing happened, of course, but I'm still anxious about going out. I grew up ridiculously sheltered and this is the first time I've encountered anything shady...two decades of associating big cities with "muggers and rapists everywhere" doesn't just go away, it fades to make room for other needs but pops right back out again the moment I'm given a reason to remember.

...I'm gonna go get some mcnuggets and maybe if nothing happens again, I'll be more comfortable with going out again tomorrow, etc.

By the way, for those more familiar with these processes, why did security ask my name when I reported him? Isn't my identity completely irrelevant if he didn't actually harm me? Couldn't I have told them about him in total anonymity? ~~Were they in league with him? Are they going to help him get to me? Or are they just saving the names of people who make reports they consider dumb so they can take them less seriously next time?~~ Why did the FDA suddenly decide my doctor couldn't increase my anxiety meds? Fuck 'em. I want nuggets.

Well, it's a process, and you're getting used to living in the city, and you keep improving, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Security probably wanted your name just for purposes of paperwork or something.

Because if something happens later, say, somebody does get hurt next time and it's the same person involved, your testimony might matter and they need to reach you for legal purposes.

the reverse could be true for instances of false claims.

Oh. Well, I really hope that doesn't happen, because (apart from the obvious reason of not wanting anyone to get hurt) I'm terrible with details. I called security minutes after I saw the guy and I could barely remember his skin color (I'm pretty sure he was white), which is probably the most noticeable physical feature a person can have unless they've got weird hair or a big mole or something. Being grilled on facts I can't remember would be almost as upsetting for me as, well, being creeped at by some stranger on the path into campus.

Oh god. I really hope this doesn't happen.

I can't figure out if you really need to be out like this or if you aren't ready yet.

Cause you are messed the fuck up son. But inevitably live is such that you will have to leave the house.

Be prepared for a lot of impromptu shock therapy from real life experiences.

Because the thought of being pressed for details I can't remember is anxiety-provoking? Because I can't remember details? Neither of those things is my fault.

Just wanted to poke in and say while yeah you obviously have problems I really don't think it's as bad as insanenoodlyguy seems to think. I also deal with anxiety very similar to what you've been talking about and I have all my life (I'm an adult), and yeah details and stuff like that are hard to recall and even harder when put into a secondary anxiety inducing situation like being questioned. Don't worry too much about it.

Just, you know, deep breaths and try to stay calm and remind yourself it's not as bad as your anxiety is making it seem etc etc. Good luck.

Didn't say it was your fault. But if that provokes your anxiety I'm worried about you.

Though it's also possible this is going to ultimately toughen you up. Not magically make you lose your anxiety or anything, but hopefully less overall in life situations.

Edited 2013-08-07 05:00 (UTC)

Life doesn't work like that. The more I'm exposed to distressing stimuli (oh god I'm turning into my psychologists), the worse my reaction is when it happens again. There are some poisons where you can take tiny amounts of it to start and then work your way up until you're completely immune, but with others, all those "harmless" doses will gradually add up and become lethal. Trauma is the latter type of poison.

Then you're in trouble kid. Cause I guarantee you that college is not a low stress environment.

I don't really think anything they've said proves that they're messed the fuck up. Just that they have anxiety. Same basic grade anxiety shit I deal with on a daily basis. I think you're being a little weird about this, but maybe you just don't have any experience with anxiety and don't understand it.

Breathe through your nose. It's ok.

They're probably keeping track in case they see a pattern. If they know your name and where you live (/where you experienced the incident), they can have more people around looking for the person in question. If they can get a list of people with the same complaint, they can form a better picture of what his pattern is -- bothering mostly fe/males, certain race, certain building or intersection, holding bags, etc.

Also, that's what some Irish guys I met said their mother thought about the US, there being crazies everywhere. Her whole view was based on Jerry Springer!

The truth is, shit does happen in cities: I witnessed random assault, theft, and other conflicts in my four years of living in a downtown campus. BUT there's loads of common sense to fall back on when you need to make yourself go outside. For example, it sounds like there are campus security folks around where you live- keep their number in your phone. Carry mace, a whistle, a small knife/swiss-army knife*, whatever makes you feel more secure. Keep to the main drags, only walk around during peak hours of activity. Use the buddy system. Hell, if you live in a dorm you could probably end up with a walking party simply by announcing that you're going to McDonalds. :'D

It'll take a few experiences to build up your confidence (or break down pre-existing walls, as it were). Some people simply aren't made to live in a city, and you might just be one of 'em. Even so, bear with it- everything takes practice, etc etc.

And yep, security will want your name for pretty much everything, even when turning in lost and found objects. No worries there.

*Do not, however, accidentally enter buildings with high security with such an item. Haha er...personal experience there.

[ SECRET POST #2408 ]

Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out

Re: Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out

Re: Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out

Re: Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out

wow

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Re: wow

Re: wow

Re: wow

Re: wow

Re: wow

Re: Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out

Re: Anon from yesterday who was scared to go out