[ SECRET POST #2412 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2412 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 093 secrets from Secret Submission Post #345.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

11. http://i.imgur.com/56MqeCF.png

[forgottenjester]

:(

You can be open here. We on F!S can be your friends.

[likeadeuce]

It's hard, but have you tried asking if something's wrong? That's no guarantee your friend will be honest, I hate to say, but if you don't bring it up you may never find out.

Friendship is hard and it doesn't always go the way we want it to, and it may not be anyone's fault. I hope you can work things out in a way that helps you move forward.

[ecoerrante]

-hugs- I'm the same way, OP. I'm only just starting to come out of hiding on anon here [and we'll see how long that lasts!], much less doing anything in my actual fandoms!

[silverr]

It seems that sometimes when fannish people finally meet up IRL, sometimes the disconnect between what you expect that person to be like in person, and what they actually ARE like in person, is too much to handle.

(it doesn't always work this way, but sadly it does happen.)

[lunabee34]

*nods*

Sometimes the way people present themselves online and the way they behave in person is very different, and that can be really awkward too.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd talk to her. It may be nothing personal. Or maybe she thinks she did something to offend you, and feels awkward. Either way ,ask her what's going on.

Though I will say I have drifted from fandom friends after meeting them online. :/

[kaijinscendre]

I'll be your friend! But I probably won't visit because I am too poor to go anywhere.

[(Anonymous)]

If this is who I think it is...please. Write me. It was nothing -- NOTHING -- you did. I've been wondering where you've been.

If not, I'm sorry Anon. I wish you the beset.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with the others that are saying you should talk to her.

But I also gotta say, don't put all your eggs into one basket. A lot of making friends is putting yourself out there to as many people as possible. I say this as an antisocial, shy, and introverted person, but back when I made fandom friends I talked to a few people at a time and I did meet ups with groups.

Fandom friends are just like real life friends, and the friendships can die for any number of reason. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, it's just life. That's part of the reason it's good to have multiple friends because then you have people to fall back on if one relationship doesn't work out.

Just dive back in, if you were having fun then keep having fun.

[hiyami]

Yeah, this.
I used to be all "I don't need tons of friends, I'm perfectly happy having one good one". But it puts too much pressure on a single relationship.

And yeah, having also been introvert and not finding interest in small conversations... eventually if you engage conversations with more people you increase the odds to find people you will click with, and be able to befriend.

Also doing that means you'll act less awkward with experience.

[insanenoodlyguy]

She obviously wanted the D/V, and you didn't deliver.

[(Anonymous)]

The whatnow?

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is a bunch of white sheep grazing and chilling on a field.]

I have been a lurker in fandoms for years, using sock accounts if really needed. At the beginning of this year, I made my first proper fandom friend. It was awesome. And she gave me the courage to stop lurking in the fandom with her around. It was not hand-holding, just knowing there was someone who knew me helped a lot.

Then, after six months of constant e-mailing, she visited me, because she was on a holiday in my home country. We haven't talked much since she left. I think it's something I did, though I have no idea what it could have been. I've been trying to keep the friendship alive, but it isn't looking too good. It took me seven years to get a first fandom friend and half a year to lose her. And I am back to complete fandom lurker mode. I just can't bring myself to participate, even though it was fun when I did.

Too long; didn't read: Sad lurking anon needs friends to participate in fandom but is shit at making/keeping them and is sad [sad face emoticon].

Picture barely related. I just like sheep.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel you anon, I feel you. Hope you can mend the friendship. Best of luck.

[thene]

Drifting in and out of touch with people is pretty normal, both online and IRL. I would just get back in touch and not overthink it too much.

[al28894]

This is ... weird.

Except for the last paragraphs and the very beginning, I could have sworn this was an account of a meetup between a fandom friend and myself.

I wish I can offer you a few encouraging words OP, but I'm terrible at this so...

*hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with everybody else, you should ask her if something happened. Try not to assume you did something wrong and get yourself worked up, you'll just feel worse that way.
I've had all but one of my friends drift apart from me for various reasons so I know it's hard and it sucks. I hope everything works out for you two.

[(Anonymous)]

Could just be a natural drifting, happens all the time OP, but maybe ask her? Or send an email saying you've not heard from her for ages and are wondering if everything is OK?

Did she stay at your place? I often find I don't get on with friends when I spend too long with them, or go on holiday with them, it really shows up any niggles you might be able to overlook otherwise.

Still I usually stay friends with those people, just avoid going away with them in future.

It's not necessarily something you've done, maybe it was just the disconnect of meeting up IRL