[ SECRET POST #2413 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2413 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #345.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Being called "babe" or any other "pet name" means an instant dumping. You don't respect me, you don't get to date me.

[dancing_clown]

You know, there are a lot of people for whom terms of endearment aren't seen as disrespectful. On both the giving and receiving side. Are people supposed to just intuit that you have a bug up your ass and will insta-dunmp them as soon as the offending phrase passes their lips?

[(Anonymous)]

I make it clear from the beginning that I find it disrespectful and rude, and that I won't put up with it. Everyone I'm in a relationship with knows that this is a dealbreaker. If a person is honestly more interested in calling their partner "babe" or whatever, then that person and I are not going to be in a relationship. End of story.

I'm sure you, and everyone else on this site, has things they can't/won't tolerate in relationships. This is mine. This is not about "having a bug up [my] ass," this is about wanting respect from my partner.

[otakugal15]

To be honest? It is you having a bug up your ass. Cause more times than not, "babe" is used affectionately.

So yes, it is.

[anonymouslyyours]

It is not a sign of affection for someone to use a term of endearment their partner has told them they don't like.

[vethica]

I felt this way about that comment too. I don't do pet names myself, but I know a lot of people who are quite happy using them mutually so ???¿????

[(Anonymous)]

yeah, I hate baby, but my husband and I call each other babe all the time.

[(Anonymous)]

Now there's a blueprint for happiness.

"Pass the salt, babe?"

"HDU OBJECTIFY/INFANTILIZE/DEHUMANIZE ME LIKE THAT?? GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

[(Anonymous)]

It's not an instant-dumping, but I hate being called "baby," so if someone I'm dating calls me "baby," I say, "Okay, infant." You realize how dumb it sounds when you start doing that.

[otakugal15]

I call my boyfriend "babe" all the time, so does he to me. We also call each other "love," "baby," "hon," etc. Pet names aren't a deal-breaker for me, especially when it's done mutually. Or affectionately.

There's nothing wrong with "babe" so long as it's not used condescendingly. What the hell.

[(Anonymous)]

You're entitled to set any preconditions you like on your romantic relationships and ask partners to respect your personal pet peeves, but don't try to claim that the use of terms of endearment is inherently disrespectful, because that's bullshit.

[(Anonymous)]

Original anon - while I wouldn't say it's an instant dumping, it is an instant conversation about forms of address that I'd prefer and why.


I'm somewhat amused by the responses here. Just because you like it or don't find it offensive to be called certain pet names doesn't mean everyone does. And in fact, both I and the responding anon made it clear that it was our personal preferences, not some universal thing that everyone had to hate.

[(Anonymous)]

They didn't make that clear at all, imo. They said that calling someone babe is disrespectful, not that they didn't want to get called that. You don't get why people would respond strongly to that statement? It was controversial on purpose, at the very least.

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps the first respondent would be justified in questioning the statement. But by the time the anon replied with: "I make it clear from the beginning that I find it disrespectful and rude" that point is clarified.

Of course there's also context and benefit of the doubt.