case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-08-19 06:47 pm

[ SECRET POST #2421 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2421 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-19 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Anon who wanted to know how to inform their friend of their horrible BO, my advice to you, in the bluntest way possible is -- unless she actually appears unclean -- to sit down and shut up.

There are a lot of things that can cause strange odor, ranging from poor hygiene to illness, medication, or even the food we eat. Body chemistry is a strange thing, and isn't the same for everybody. By confronting your friend, you're putting her in the awkward position of either having to divulge information that could be very personal or feeling like her friends think she doesn't know how to bathe herself.

And that's not a fun place to be.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-19 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Unless you are living with that person in a small space. I had a smelly roommate in college. And I told her she smelt. Because when your stink is so strong it is making me gag, you need to deal with that shit.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-19 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"Dealing with that shit" is not always something that you CAN do.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

[personal profile] mrs_don_draper 2013-08-20 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Washing yourself is always something you can do at college. The rest rooms are RIGHT THERE in your dorm.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
I think the point is that some forms of odor are extremely resistant to ordinary washing.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
If that's the case, then the smelly person should be up-front about the fact that they have this problem and not leave others in the awkward position of gagging whenever they're around and not knowing whether or how to say anything. No, it's not fun to be in that position, but neither is being assaulted by stink every time you go near someone!

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
Way to, like, COMPLETELY miss the point. Because not all stink is caused by not being clean. Not all stink can be fixed by bathing, no matter how long you spend in the shower or what types or how much of soap you use.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-19 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Naw man, I'd definitely want a friend to ask me or let me know about it. There are totally ways to have that conversation without coming off as judgmental and rude. And there are plenty of ways for smelly-friend to change the topic if it makes her uncomfortable. I mean it's not like strangers walking up and having personal conversations, these are friends here.
pkbitchgirl: (Default)

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

[personal profile] pkbitchgirl 2013-08-19 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
You sound like you're speaking from experience

Are you a stinker anon?

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
I'd ask if you live up to your username, but the answer clearly is yes.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

[personal profile] mrs_don_draper 2013-08-20 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
Took the words right out of my mouth. Much better to tell/be told.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
A lot of people don't realize they have a bo problem and if I had one, then I would want someone to mention it. I would be a lot more embarrassed if I found out later that no one was bothering to let me know than I would be if someone had talked to me about it early on
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

[personal profile] diet_poison 2013-08-20 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
I feel like I'd want someone to tell me...even if it made me uncomfortable at first, I'd like to find a way to fix it.

Beyond that, it's a sticky situation. It's like other things that make your immediate environment very unpleasant to those around you, like smoking. I find it hard to believe there is NOTHING a person could do to address body odor. Frankly I think it is a matter of courtesy. For example, if it's caused by eating certain foods, and they're not essential food items, don't eat them when you're going to be in public. I sure as hell wouldn't, and I know I avoid heavy garlic before going somewhere where I don't want to stink.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
She's already putting her friends in an awkward position by getting up close and personal with them in a state that's so unpleasant for them. She's certainly allowed to smell however she likes, and even allowed to live in blissful ignorance about it for all eternity, but I imagine she'll want an honest explanation for why people who usually get along with her just fine with her are sitting down and shutting up as far away from her as they can get.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
+1

I have had friends who suddenly starting smelling so badly, so frequently, that it caused me a great deal of physical pain from the headaches if I spent time with them. Is it better to stop being friends with someone or tell them what's up? I know I would rather my friends tell me I smelled so I could try to do something about it than potentially have all my friends decide they no longer wanted to spend time with me because of my odor.

If the person can't do anything about it or just wants to keep being smelly, they are free to make that choice as well, but they may want to know what their options are (regarding potentially losing friends due to said odor) ahead of time.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-20 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, because everyone who has a condition beyond their control TOTES just wants to be smelly.

Re: To the Anon with the smelly friend....

(Anonymous) 2013-08-21 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
If she has a condition she can't help in any possible way, she should make an effort not to bloody hug people. It's terrible that she has to make that sacrifice, but better her than everyone around her, considering it's her condition, not theirs.