fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2423 ]

[ SECRET POST #2423 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2423 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Amanda Palmer]

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03.

[Breaking Bad]

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04.

[Free]

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05.

[Urdnot Wrex (Mass Effect)]

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06.

[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]

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07.

[My Chemical Romance]

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08.

[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]

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09.

[Twin Peaks, Audrey Horne and Agent Dale Cooper]

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10.

[Johnny Weir, American figure skater]

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11.

[Star Trek: The Next Generation]

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12.

[Arrested Development]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 026 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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09. http://i.imgur.com/H41T6SQ.jpg
[Twin Peaks, Audrey Horne and Agent Dale Cooper]

I think it really depends on the relationship, the actual gap, and the age of the partners. I think there are some situations where even though one partner is technically an adult, they are still very young mentally and there's just a huge discrepancy in experience which can make the relationship really unequal in many ways.

I agree that usually that kind of relationship is unequal, but some people wants that. Some young women can feel safer with an older man, like there's someone taking care of her, because some people just like let someone take control. Or there are people attracted to power and success. And these relationships work as well (or as bad) as any other relationship.

(no subject)

kallanda_lee - 2013-08-21 23:56 (UTC) - Expand

Yep, agree, really depends. I've been witness to some dodgy age-gap relationships where male+older means he's ridden roughshod over his younger female partner, and not in a good way.

At least one of them wised up and complained they always wanted her spreadeagled and still on the bed, and that got annoying after a while. Dunno if her taste in older men improved, or she went for a younger one.

I'm sure older men wish all women were like you. I wonder how many of the "wonderful" ones were bragging to their friends about dating a high school girl behind your back?

Wow. By that reasoning, nobody should date any high school guys in high school either, because they might brag about it.

(no subject)

kallanda_lee - 2013-08-21 23:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-22 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

I wouldn't know, I'm a middle-aged man in a partnership with an older woman.

(no subject)

kallanda_lee - 2013-08-21 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-22 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

+1

Similar experience to yours. In my case, it was nearly 30 years ago. If I were ever going to have any regrets, I think I would have felt them by now.

10 years age difference.
14 years happily married.
No regrets.

I'm not saying all age gap relationships are fine and dandy, but it's also inaccurate to paint them all as the work of creepy pedos.

this. i think most people would agree that there's nothing wrong with age gaps. heck, my own parents are over 20 years apart.

but it does become questionable when one is still in high school, and the other left high school over a decade ago. which is the case of Audrey and Coop in Twin Peaks.

(no subject)

cbrachyrhynchos - 2013-08-22 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

Age gaps don't bother me.

But when one of the people in the relationship is still at school while the other isn't, then yeah, that is pretty creepy imo. And it makes me question if there's something wrong with the older person that they can't date people in their own age range, and have to date high school students instead.

this

I know a guy my age (late 20s) who's the kind of handsome and talented dude who seemed to expect things to come easily to him, and when they never did, and his highschool relationship fizzled, he's started hanging around with younger and younger girls. Presumably they are more dazzled by his bullshit. It's a bit sad.

I just wish older men would stop telling me I'm "supposed" to be attracted to them, although it is kind of fun to shrug and say "I don't date people who try to tell me what I want."

wow that is super awful behavior D: I'm sorry you've been subjected to that :(

good on you with that comeback, though

[Picture is Audrey Horne and Agent Dale Cooper, as portrayed by Sherilyn Fenn and Kyle MacLachlan, from the TV show "Twin Peaks". Audrey is a woman with light skin and medium-short dark wavy hair. She has fine features and is wearing a light blue T-shirt and a dark wristwatch, leaning on her arm over the back of a couch while she idly reaches the back of her neck with the other hand and looks to the side to something off-screen. She looks like she's almost smiling. Dale is a man with light skin and short black hair slicked back. He is wearing a white shirt and a dark tie with white and black stripes and a dark suit jacket. He is holding an orange mug in one hand as he looks to the side, in the same direction that Audrey. He appears to be sitting on the couch Audrey is leaning on. There is a yellow door or window next to them, mostly cropped out of the frame of the picture.]

Age gaps like theirs don't bother me. I've always dated older men even when I was in high school. Some were jerks and some were wonderful, just as it would've been if I'd dated men my own age. I wish more people realized that it's not the age gap that makes a relationship bad, it's the people in it.

Large age gaps make me sick to my stomach. It's literally a physical reaction, I kind of cringe back and gag a little. But it depends on the couple. If it's a semi-unattractive older man and a pretty little girl - that's what gets me the most. Seems too perverted.

My thing is that I refuse to date someone more than 7 years older or more than 7 years younger. My grandma was 7 years older than my grandpa and their relationship was amazing, but I haven't see examples of successful couples with a larger age gap.

It really infuriated me when I was 25 and got messages from 40 year olds. "I know you said you don't date older men, but I should be the exclusion." No. I am old enough to do what I want, nor do I need a parent replacement. No way am I dating someone 15 years older than me.

Incidentally, I have a few friends in their early 40s who are on the immature side. I wouldn't prefer to date them, because their experiences are a lot different from mine. I'm late 20s.

I wish more people realized that it's not the age gap that makes a relationship bad, it's the people in it.

I am going to treasure this as a troll statement, OP. My own OTP are a canon pairing with a significant age gap and the ship fandom tends to meta about how godawful their relationship is and how much tws we have for them. It's the people in my OTP that make it bad. <3

I'm not familiar with this fandom, but it always makes me really upset when people bash age differences in relationships, because my parents had a really, really large age difference and had one of the most loving relationships I've ever seen... much better than any of my friends' parents closer-in-age relationships, to be sure.

It's the people involved who are important, not what age they are.

But when one of those people are still in high school...

(no subject)

straightforwardly - 2013-08-22 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

I agree that they had mad chemistry, but I'm so, so glad they never actually went there in the show-- I think Dale said it the best way. What Audrey needed, more than anything, was a friend. I absolutely loved that about their relationship.

That said, the "new" romances the writers shifted in last minute felt really tacked-on and unnecessary. And that's sort of being kind about it. What I didn't understand is why they needed to pair them off at all.

Bonus: I harbored a secret thing for Bobby/Audrey, but I felt bad about it because I loved Shelly so much and she was in such an awful situation. Not that Bobby made her situation any better, but...

"I wish more people realized that it's not the age gap that makes a relationship bad, it's the people in it."

This! For example: I wanted Coop/Audrey to happen SO MUCH. Alternatively (and here's a VERY unpopular opinion), on Community, the idea of Jeff/Annie literally disgusts me and I really don't like to say this but I side-eye the people who ship it so very hard (there are definitely young women out there who are emotionally mature enough to get with a much older guy and have it not be creepy, but Annie IS NOT and I don't know HOW so many people who watch the show don't recognize that.)

My ship!

Nope. A teenager never belongs with a thirty year old. In that case, the age difference is part of what makes it wrong.

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