fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2424 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2423 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i am embarrassed as hell right now, but i need advice.

i've been with my boyfriend for almost six years. and for the first time, i feel jealous? he has this co-worker who he constantly texts with. it began feeling really weird when his co-worker sneaked in his classroom (he's a high school teacher) to decorate his room for his birthday. and he referred to her as a pretty woman. i have talked with my boyfriend about how i felt and he assured me that she's just a close friend and nothing more. i want to believe him (in fact i do believe him, but sometimes there's a voice in my head saying what if), but i have been cheated on before (by a different boyfriend) and i'm kinda scared this would happen again to me. but i really really hate being jealous. it's dumb and petty and it takes over my head. how do i stop letting this fester in me? i don't wanna ruin this relationship with my irrational feelings. :( any advice?

TALK TO HIM. Tell him a bit about how you feel (including that you believe him!), hear about how he feels. This is going to happen in any LTR you ever have; your partner is going to be meeting women, making friends with women, sometimes finding women pretty and likeable. You have got to get used to handling that, and talking about it helps imx. Maybe you need more affection and validation from your boyfriend than you're getting right now? If that's what you need, ask for it. again, just imx, but I find a bit of 'I met this other hot person but you are still #1' can mean a lot.

Wow, that's a difficult situation :( Honestly, I think the best option would be to calmly explain your discomfort again. Does he know about the past bf who cheated? If he does, then hopefully he'd understand that making comments like "she's pretty" won't help at all. But letting it fester might cause an outburst, stalking, paranoia, etc. I wouldn't ask him to cut off contact with her, especially since they work together and that would probably have bad results, but maybe by hearing how you feel again will give the situation more weight to him and cause him to set some boundaries with her.

Another option might be to invite her to a party you're hosting or go to one of his teacher get-togethers, rather than dropping by his classroom unannounced to make him feel like you're testing him/don't trust him. That way you might be able to spend some time with his co-worker and possibly get more of a 'feel' of what her intentions are, or at least become more connected to her because maybe she plans birthdays the way she did for everyone. But if you don't want to get to know her, I completely understand.

IDK if any of that helped, but I wish you and your bf the best of luck!

[ SECRET POST #2424 ]

jealousy issues

Re: jealousy issues

Re: jealousy issues