fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2426 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2426 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Repeatedly asking if you're still welcome somewhere, or leaving forever without an explanation the first time you think you're unwanted?

The first is more obnoxious, but the second is probably a worse way to be.

Don't know the situation, but I'd say overstaying you're welcome is far more obnoxious than both of those.

Of the two? Repeatedly asking. I get being insecure but by repeatedly asking you're making other people responsible for combating your insecurities. Leaving for ever isn't a good plan, but you're at least taking responsibility for your insecurity.

i disagree. folks you care about dissappear with no explanation, you fucking worry about them and never know what happened.

DA

causing someone to worry isn't 'odiously or disgustingly objectionable' though. maybe disappearing on the same person repeatedly without explanation would be obnoxious but if you disappear just once and never come back, i don't think it quite qualifies.

unless everyone who disappears without explanation just once, even if there's a good reason for it is also 'odiously or disgustingly objectionable'.

Actually, given the reasoning behind the objection that Noodle offered, disappearing once and never coming back is worse. If someone chronically disappears for extended lengths of time and then returns to do it again, their friends will come to expect it and just start wondering, "Huh, I wonder where they've gotten off to this time?" Whereas the person who disappears once and is never heard from again leaves their friends thinking, "Oh God, I wonder if they're dead?"

Exactly. the needy person is annoying, but if I find somebody liek that again later in some other fandom or whatever, and they never said a goodbye? I'm fucking pissed.

Edited 2013-08-25 02:21 (UTC)

The former is definitely obnoxious. The latter would just make me wonder and worry, but it's not obnoxious.

They're both rubbish options. If you've been told you're welcome once, take people at their word. If you feel that you've stayed beyond what they meant then take your leave on that occasion and have a bit of a think about why you believed yourself unwanted. It'll either be because of external cues (in which case you might want to have a rethink about the limits of your welcome) or because of internal issues (in which case there's an opportunity for personal growth in having a go at neither running away nor seeking constant reassurance.)

Probably.

Repeatedly asking people if they like you enough. Keep it up, and eventually the answer will change from yes to no.

The first one is obnoxious, the second one is just plain sad.

The first one.

(currently I've got a friend who has asked every day if I'm coming this evening and keeps talking about all the other cancellations and I'm getting really irritated you're making me want to cancel. Stop fucking asking because I do not like the responsibility for your insecurity you're trying to parcel onto me

[ SECRET POST #2426 ]

Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?

Re: Which is more obnoxious?