Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-08-31 03:28 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-08-31 03:28 pm
[ SECRET POST #2433 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2433 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
__________________________________________________
02.
__________________________________________________
03.
__________________________________________________
04.
__________________________________________________
05.
__________________________________________________
06.
__________________________________________________
07.
__________________________________________________
08.
__________________________________________________
09.
__________________________________________________
10.
__________________________________________________
11.
__________________________________________________
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #348.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Dating Site/Virginity Grossness Rant
(Anonymous) 2013-08-31 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)A while back, a young woman wrote in to Savage Love saying that she was really very unattractive and while she accepted this, she didn't understand why guys would give her a hard time about this. She wasn't hitting on these guys or expecting them to ask her out and yet they would make a point of getting up in her face and giving her crap about not being pretty. Dan wrote back that sometimes, some me are raised to believe that women exist for their pleasure and they get offended when they encounter a woman who doesn't please them.* I consider myself attractive, but still I thought "This explains so much."
So, there are some guys out there who take it very personally when a woman does not look, act, or think exactly in line with what these guys want. Personally, I think it's not just entitlement, but also that they feel threatened and scared to be reminded that their options are somewhat limited: not all women are what they want, not all women care that they are not what these guys want and aren't going to change, and even when they are what they want, the women might not be interested anyway. Rather than just shrugging it off and moving on to the next option, these guys take it upon themselves to argue with these women about whatever it is they are doing "wrong" as a form of bargaining with the universe.
I think the guys sending you these messages aren't necessarily thinking in terms of trying to make you want to date them, they just feel they need to assuage their fears and put things "right" by telling you that you are wrong.
*To be fair, I think there are women who act the same way towards men, but they seem to express it differently.
Re: Dating Site/Virginity Grossness Rant
(Anonymous) 2013-08-31 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)This. You could actually expand that to a lot of things. Whenever you come up against somebody who tells you your choices are wrong when they don't affect anybody but you, it's most likely because they have some insecurity within themselves. People who are more self-assured tend to be less judgmental when it comes to others' lifestyle choices.
Re: Dating Site/Virginity Grossness Rant
(Anonymous) 2013-08-31 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)I always get a laugh when one of these comments is followed up by "virgin, ugh, why;.;'. Yeah, I really wonder why!
Re: Dating Site/Virginity Grossness Rant
(Anonymous) 2013-09-01 10:35 am (UTC)(link)