fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2433 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2433 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not OP

Yeah, see. Here's the thing most people don't seem to get with beds: Some people are very protective of their beds. I do - and I know that. My bed is one of the few things I will actually tell people to get the fuck away from [and I'm generally someone whose more than happy to share just about anything if someone asks]. If someone else where to sleep in my bed it would make me very, very anxious and if it was two people I'd probably have the same reaction as the OP does.

This is because my bed *is* my safe space - so someone else sleeping in it feels like a violation, and if it were two people I knew were in sexual relationship? I might not be able to stop myself from thinking about them doing stuff in my bed. So it could not be a jealously thing.

Also, even if they did offer, a lot of places letting the quest sleep in the bed is generally considered the polite thing if you don't have a quest bed. So they could have felt pressured into it.

I was pretty much asking for clarification on OP's situation because while I get being a little possessive of your sleeping place it's not entirely clear this was a righteous indignation post and definitely didn't seem like the whole story. Honestly I got the impression OP is jealous of the girlfriend and isn't great at communicating or setting boundaries and rather than sucking it up and asserting themselves wanted to have people sympathize about what an inconsiderate person their friend is.

OP's subject line and the strange repeated emphasis on the girlfriend is what had me asking about the jealousy thing. And honestly not being able to stop yourself from obsessing about something someone else may or may not be doing is your responsibility, not theirs.

And as to your last point... are you implying that even if they had offered the guest is responsible to intuit that they're feeling pressured into offering and is a bad friend if they don't? I mean, you yourself said most people don't "get" how protective some people can be about their beds. I'm just not seeing anything that would indicate the friend was outrageously unreasonable.

Edited 2013-09-01 02:20 (UTC)

-shrugs- And from what I read, I got the impression the OP just didn't like their friend's girl friend, and felt put upon because 'Surprise! BTW, my girlfriend is coming too - still okay if we crash at your place?' with the plans already set up.

The thing with offering the bed - my point, since you seemed [and still seem] very 'WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, DUMBASS!' is that some places not offering the bed could, and would, be viewed as slight and have social consequences. Generally the polite thing there is for the quest to offer to not stay in their bed - but plenty of rude [or people who just don't realize it] don't do that. That wouldn't be the OP's fault. But then again, you've already made your mind up.

[ SECRET POST #2433 ]

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