fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2435 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2435 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 049 secrets from Secret Submission Post #348.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Guy comes to work on Monday. His buddy gets a cup a coffee and stands next to him.

Buddy: What he did on the weekend?

Guy: Craziest thing. I was walking home from work along the railroad tracks and I found this girl tied the train tracks. It was weird, just tied up to the tracks like it was some old timey movie.

Buddy: What did you do?

Guy: I untied her and took her home. We had sex all weekend. I did everything to her. Every position I knew. We had sex throughout my house. Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday. I even nailed her once more before I left for work today. She had long legs, round hips, beautiful ass, thin waist and a huge rack. I couldn't believe my luck.

Buddy: What did her face look like?

Guy: I don't know. Never found the head.

*eternally screaming*

(though still saves the joke.)

You can say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds.

PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

How many babies to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

I have the best dead baby joke. And by best I mean ommgnooooo. You've been warned.

Seriously, it's not too late to turn back now!

What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby?

I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a dead baby.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Well, you take some root beer, a couple scoops of ice cream and a dead baby...

Alternatively: Take your foot off its head.

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

omgggg

If you have a problem with pedophiles, you seriously need to grow up.

Edited 2013-09-02 23:58 (UTC)

Do me! Do me! I want a joke!

Why did the orphan take up tennis?

It's the only place he gets love.

da

I don't understand, is it a pun?

Yes. "Love" is tennis-speak for a score of zero.

(On another note; hey, you're back!)

Avert your eyes! You are too young for this filth.

I will find you different, nicer filth.

Edited 2013-09-03 00:34 (UTC)

And thank you for making me giggle like an idiot this morning. XD

come play cards against humanity with us. It's totally clean filth

Sorry, but I can't. I'm preparing to go to college right now. I would love to try it sometime though!

okay, but you better study hard (but not TOO hard) and say hi to your sister for me.

And your parents. Also, rose syrup is delicious, who knew?

Edited 2013-09-03 00:57 (UTC)

[ SECRET POST #2435 ]

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

Re: Tell me a joke so horrible or disgusting that you were ashamed you laughed at it.

...no

Re: ...no

Re: ...no

Re: ...no

Re: ...no

Re: ...no