Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-09-08 03:29 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-09-08 03:29 pm
[ SECRET POST #2441 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2441 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 05:37 am (UTC)(link)But at the end of the day it's just a stupid picture, and your brother is your brother, flaws and all. You either accept him as-is and put up with the shit he does that bothers you, and hope he outgrows it in his own time (which he well may, though sadly, this is not guaranteed) or you cut him off. The one thing you can't do is force him to change before he's willing and ready to do so.
One thing I would recommend, though, if Facebook is often a vector for this sort of thing with him, is to unfriend him and eliminate that source of friction between you. And tell him, if he asks, that's why you did it.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 09:44 am (UTC)(link)Just fucking no.
To all of this.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
no subject
Tom Brady is the quarterback for the Patriots. (I only know this because again...brother. lol. He is a diehard Colts fan and pretty much hates anything to do with the Patriots.)
I see where you're coming from with your advice, but I feel like if everyone just put up with stuff like that on the grounds that you can't change people, nobody would ever talk about sexism or any other important issues. Nor am I trying to get him to change - I might not like him very much because of the way he acts, but here I am just trying to change his views, not him as a person, and see if he can understand the issue a little bit more. Because if nobody ever does that how will our society progress?
At any rate, thanks for the feedback. It is important to remember that you can't control other people, and even trying to change things for the better doesn't always have good results. ngl though, it's frustrating as fuck. x.x
AYRT
(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 02:38 am (UTC)(link)It just seems that you've already made your objections very clear to him, and he's made it equally clear that he's not interested in doing anything about it at this time. You're currently at an impasse. So you're left with a pretty sucky choice, which I don't envy you.
But I'm also getting the impression he's not that old? You said you're both in college, right? It's possible he just has some more growing up to do, and he may do it best if he's not kept on the defensive about it.
I'm not so much suggesting that you give up as take the long view. If you give him time and he fails to get any better, the options of going back to arguing with him or walking away will still be there.
At any rate, I wish you the best of luck and hope you arrive at a solution that works for you.
Re: AYRT
I should take a long-term view and I sort of do, but I don't want to be emotionally invested in someone if I don't know if it will work out in the long run. I distance myself for long periods of time. Maybe in five years or so...idk.