[ SECRET POST #2442 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

Many people don't take trans people into account at all when they state their sexuality. Like other people in this thread have said, gay and straight people don't have to clarify whether they just want cis partners, it's really weird that people expect this from bisexuals.

As a trans guy I am more wary of people who say they are pan than people who say they are bi. Sure, the label tells me they will accept whatever's in my pants, but judging from the ones I've seen they are also just as likely to see me as not a man but some kind of in-between special gender. Meanwhile I know several gay and bi people who would never say "I'm gay, I like cis and trans men" but have been totally cool with dating trans guys when the opportunity came up.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

gay and straight people don't have to clarify whether they just want cis partners

I would take issue with that statement. I have known a whole lot of transphobic people who did not identify as bi or pan, and even if they listed their orientation as "straight" a transwoman was out of the question. The default appears to be that cis is included an that trans is a tossup for most people. I would love to live in a world where, if a man said he were straight, an mtf transwoman was automatically included in his potential dating pool. But she is not. She may be, but she is not *automatically.*

The reason gay and straight people are not questioned as much is because more of them are simply assumed to be cisonly than bisexuals. People are not assuming straight and gay people are more open to trans* people; they are assuming they are *less* open.

This isn't saying this is right or wrong or offensive or not, only that this is how it is.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that gay and straight people were considered more open or anything. I just find it weird that there's all this scrutiny over bi people and people going as far as saying that just being bi makes you transphobic. I don't really get why all the pressure is on bi people, it seems to me that while none of those orientations specifically include trans people none of them rule it out either, and that's all on the individual. I just don't understand these sweeping generalizations about who people must be attracted to and pushing people to change their labels.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think anyone is accusing bi people of being transphobic? People are saying the term "bisexual" will sometimes be read/intended as "cis men and cis women only," and is being used by a lot of transphobic people, which is a problem and which is making "bisexual" a label that some people avoid, opting to go for "pan" instead- not accusing all bisexual person of being phobic by using the label. Then bisexual people are taking it as an attack on them, and thinking all bisexuals are being called transphobic when they're not.

Even if a person is only attracted to cispeople, they aren't transphobic they merely aren't sexually attracted, anyways.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

I guess my problem is that most of the pansexual people I've encountered have been on tumblr, where it seemed like they started identifying as pan to show how accepting they were and then declared that bi people were enforcing the gender binary and also transphobic for saying there were only two genders to be attracted to. I know nobody in this thread was saying that but that's what I've seen more often than the situation you described.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

This. I'm not assuming that bi people are any more trans-excluding and/or transphobic than the general population, I'm just not assuming that they're any less.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

sameanon

And I think the scrutiny here is on bisexuals because bisexuals are supposed to be the open ones, except a whole bunch of people who identify as bisexual aren't, and are spreading the idea that bisexual need only mean attraction to ciswomen and cismen. Those people are the ones causing the issue and the incorrect way other people perceive bisexuality.

As for why not gay/straight, the gay/straight thing already has such deep roots in cis individuals and cis body parts that assuming a gay or straight person will be open to non-binary individuals is likely to end up in a bad time. Again it may not and they may be open to attraction but chances are too low to presume they are.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[(Anonymous)]

Not true. I was just watching a show about a trans couple that was struggling with the fact that the second person was considering sexual reassignment surgery.

Person A was a heterosexual MTF. Person B was in transition from MTF. They'd been in the relationship for a long time.

The conflict was that person A was not going to love person B if they completed their sexual reassignment, because she was only attracted to males. Person B was torn because s/he knew that inside s/he was a woman, but s/he really loved person A.

So Person B was, in theory, a gay trans*woman who loved both trans and cis women. Person A was a heterosexual trans*woman who was only attracted to cisgender males. It's certainly rarer, but I think straight and gay people often consider the question about whether they'd be attracted to trans people.

Confounded by transphobia, of course, but they do.

New anon sweeps in!!

[(Anonymous)]

Or, outside of Western culture, take into account the Fa'afafine of Samoa. They are third-gender individuals (males who live as women). This is not the interesting thing.

The interesting thing is that most Fa'afafine are what some in the west would call homophobic. They find the idea of sleeping with a GAY male or female to be horrific. Society views it the same. Because the Fa'afafine identify as female, a heterosexual relationship for them would be one with a straight male.