[ SECRET POST #2443 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2443 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Sailor Moon]


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03.
[Taken]


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04.
[Hetalia]


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05.
[John and Edward Grimes/Jedward]


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06.
[Zoolander]


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07.
[X-Files]


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08.
[Amanda Palmer and Paula Deen]


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09.
[Once Upon a Time]


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10.
[Corporal Rivaille from Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 035 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Is there any way to combat internal feelings of resentment towards other people? Mainly in the context of fair-weather friends.

Seething doesn't help me scrounge together a security deposit.

[(Anonymous)]

It will take a lot of asking yourself difficult questions and answering honestly. Do you feel you live an unfair life? Why? What did the other person do right that you did wrong? What can you change? Was it luck? Was it their personality? What?

and, uh, basically convince yourself that it's not their fault what is going on in your life and try to stop thinking about other people having it good when you have it bad

distract yourself from that, and stuff, I guess?

[(Anonymous)]

sa

also, find which things you can actively change and aren't just up to fate (you can, barring severe issues, learn to control how you react to external events and to ride out your emotions instead of letting them govern you, for example)

[(Anonymous)]

I can manage it intellectually a lot of the time. I mean, logically, life isn't fair. Fairness is an artificial, abstract concept. There's nothing fair about a hawk eating a mouse, or a hurricane hitting the Eastern seaboard. It just a thing we made up to feel like the world is more on our side than it is.

Emotionally managing it is a different story. Especially when they're friends I helped out in the past. "I helped you, why the fuck won't you help me" is insidious as all hell. Get it off get it off get if oooooffff.

Fairness is an artificial thing that doesn't exist! And I am clinging onto it like a drowning man! The fuck.

[(Anonymous)]

Especially when they're friends I helped out in the past. "I helped you, why the fuck won't you help me" is insidious as all hell. Get it off get it off get if oooooffff.

Did they ask you for help or did you offer your help without them asking?

Have you asked them for help with your problems? Brought up your problems to them at least?

Some people are just clueless or self-centered, sadly. I can't say I blame you for feeling this way!

Sometimes the best way to go is to cut out these people from your life, no more checking up on them, no more finding out how they are doing, asking common friends to not talk about them to you or cut off the common friends too, etc. and then find friends who don't leave you hanging like that after extracting favors from you.

[(Anonymous)]

Neat trick I learned in college Psychology: other people don't cause us to feel bad; we do it to ourselves by dwelling on thoughts like "How DARE they! How terrible/horrible/awful it is that they did X when they should/ought/must do Y instead!" (Dr. Albert Ellis's "A New Guide to Rational Living," if you're at all interested.)

Consciously try to stop yourself from thinking these thoughts (not as easy as it sounds, obviously, but it is possible with practice) and remind yourself instead that you can't control what other people do, only your own actions. It's not a silver bullet, but it may help.