fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2446 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2446 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

04. [WARNING for gore, blood, etc]

[How To Train Your Dragon]

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05. [WARNING for child abuse]

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06. [WARNING for rape]

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07. [WARNING for rape]

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08. [WARNING for torture]

[Fall Out Boy's "The Phoenix"]

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09. [WARNING for underage]

[pokemon conquest]

Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I...kind of know what you mean, I guess? I don't think I really hate it so much because I can't imagine being any other way but I do really wish it wasn't seen as either "you're lying because you just want to feel like a special snowflake" or "you're just an uptight prude who needs to get laid and/or therapy".

I do sometimes lonely because being in a relationship with a non-asexual person is something that I don't think I can/don't want to deal with (I've tried twice and it was just way too huge of an issue to overcome) and the prospect of just happening to come across another asexual person at all (let alone one who I'm also compatible with in all the other important ways) seems basically impossible.

I don't know what my point is, but...I know how you feel. It seems like it would be a lot better/easier even if only more people realized it existed but I'm not sure how to make that happen.

I mean, in fairness... what's the observable distinction between someone who is repressed and someone who really is asexual? What signs can you look for to tell that difference? How does one know that someone else is one and not the other? Because it doesn't seem implausible that someone could actually be repressed and not asexual. It's an interesting question, I think - how can you know something like that for certain, especially if you're coming from the outside?

DA

Repressed is usually like they feel its "bad" or "wrong" or "dirty" or "improper" when it comes down to it. Repression is more about behavior or attitude rather than genuine lack of desire.

Asexual is like "I don't see the big deal" and some of us really wish we could see the big deal or why this omg amazing delicious pizza is so delicious-looking for everyone else but has the appeal of cardboard to us. A lot of us are sex-positive, too. We're glad you're enjoying your pizza and that's great.

ayrt

If you're talking about simply observing someone, you're right, there really isn't a reliable way to tell.

I meant when you tell someone you're asexual and they say "don't be stupid, that's not possible, you're just repressed." It's like, how about just taking someone at their word when they tell you what their sexuality is? It's like if someone said "I'm gay" and someone else told them "no, you're not, that's ridiculous, you just think you are because you've had bad luck with the opposite sex" or something. It's just frustrating when some random person thinks they know who you are/what you want better than you do. (And this isn't directed at you personally, just people in general.)

I'm reading some of the replies in here and it's quite interesting.

I think sometimes people label themselves as asexual because they don't/can't know better, but really, it's self-repression. I'm not trying to judge here, I've come to a realization about myself lately and that's it for me.

I had really bad experiences with people in the past, when I was a kid really, and that translated to me being very diffident of people, and mostly men in general. Then, growing up, I felt some times the need to connect physically with a man, but I was too afraid/disgusted/bored by the other mechanisms involved (say, going on a date, intimacy, I hate that), so yeah, I resorted to calling myself asexual and leave it at that, because the alternative seemed weird.

Now I consider myself still sentimentally completely independent, I'll probably never manage to convince myself that I need a companion, but I've come to realize that yes, biologically my body could do with sex.

As for my friends, they are all pretty much convinced that I'm no virgin because I act like I'm not. They all think I'm super selective because I have a very strong no-compromises (and quirky) personality and that I only see men for brief periods of time and with no strings.

I don't know, someone else feeling like this? I feel very alone some times. I still think sex isn't that important, but I *do* think about it, and that irks me more than anything. I just couldn't rule it out. My opinion, related to myself and my body, is that if you ever feel the need to fantasize about sex or read smut etc, even if it doesn't involve yourself, then you ARE a sexual person.

I think sometimes people label themselves as asexual because they don't/can't know better, but really, it's self-repression.

That's not really your place to say, though. Whatever realizations you've come to about yourself are great for you, but you really can't apply those to other people when you don't know anything about them or their situation.

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