[ SECRET POST #2447 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2447 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #350.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: It's that time again (non-fandom confessions)

[(Anonymous)]

Doesn't sound to high to me, but I can see that your definition of rape can make a difference, yeah.

Like, I have been fucked in my sleep (a misunderstanding) and been guilted into accepting something I really shouldn't have let happen, and am classifying both instances as rape, but I would never go so far as to report any of them. I think this kind of thing is very, very common. For both sexes. The aggressor might never even notice.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty much the opposite...I've been subject to some boorish, annoying and inconsiderate male sexual behavior that I know some people would classify as assault or rape, but I don't. Boorish, annoying and inconsiderate does not equal criminal, IMO. (As a result, I tend to agree with OP about the statistic.)

[(Anonymous)]

Rape is defined by a lack of consent. A crime is a forbidden act in a society. The two definitions don't exist on the same level. They neither rule each other out nor depend on each other.

Wikipedia: "Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent."
=/=
"The term crime does not, in modern times, have any simple and universally accepted definition,[1] but one definition is that a crime, also called an offence or a criminal offence, is an act harmful not only to some individual, but also to the community or the state (a public wrong). Such acts are forbidden and punishable by law."

AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Well, let me state my position in completely different terms, then: I do not believe that consent is automatically invalidated if it's given with less than whole-hearted enthusiasm by a competent person, provided that a real option to withhold consent exists, is considered and then is rejected.

My husband trying to persuade me to have sex when I'm really not in the mood may be an irritating habit, but I can (and sometimes do) choose to say no with full confidence that he will respect my choice, even if he doesn't particularly like it. If I give in just to make him happy or not hurt his feelings, then I don't consider it to be rape or assault, even if my preference would have been not to.

Put another way: I reserve the right to choose to do things I'm not thrilled about doing, if I judge them to be worth troubling myself with, and I will not have others cast as villains because I chose to take their wishes into account.

I'm aware that this places me in the minority around here. I just disagree with the prevailing opinion.

Re: AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

your situation is not everyone's situation, though. it's great that you have the freedom, security, safety, and mental standing to have that distinction with your spouse. I do, too. I didn't always have this with other partners, and neither do a lot of other people. If you don't want to consider something you experience as ___, that's your prerogative, so long as you are not discounting other people's experiences. If someone tries to question it, they are wrong so long as you are not discounting other people's experiences. Basically, only you have the right to determine if you've been assaulted or not (unless said incident runs up against legal guidelines in your area, in which other input matters in that kind). With that, though, you don't have the right to decide if other people have been assaulted (save again for that legal guideline bit).