[ SECRET POST #2450 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2450 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #350.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. http://i.imgur.com/rPo7q61.png

[(Anonymous)]

Or they just don't really consider you a friend. Sorry if that's harsh, but that's how it reads to me.

Secret 1 - Fandom friendship

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is black text over a white blank background.]

Every single one of my fandom "friends" has met one another through me, and then they become best friends forever. Even fandoms that they're now creaming their pants over, yeah, I introduced them to them! I've been talking about this show for literally years, and one person decided to watch it as well. Yet I am the one person who they leave out of everything. Skype chat? Nine out of ten people are invited. I'm the one person who isn't.

Maybe I should try to find new friends.

[forgottenjester]

Or you could communicate with them and let them know you feel left out. If they continue to leave you out after that then get new friends. They can't fix something they don't know is wrong.

[sootyowl]

This.

If talking doesn't work, then yeah, they are shit friends and you should get new ones.

Hope your situation gets better, OP.

[souljelly]

Try talking to them about it first, IMO. Otherwise, yeah, you might just need some new friends.

Either way, this is a shitty situation to be in. Sorry to hear it OP. I do hope things work out. :\

[(Anonymous)]

Are you explicitly not invited, or does it just seem like you're out of a loop they are in? Try to ask around without sounding bitter about it. Most of the time this kind of stuff isn't intentional, it just happens.

[(Anonymous)]

I've always wondered about these situations, when you're only seeing it through a single filter. Because ime...it's you, not them.

I have a couple of fandom friends who always tell these sob stories about how every nerd group they've been a part of eventually turns on them, shuns them, chases them out, becomes no fun, etc. They whinge about how their geek friends turn on them and no longer invite them to things. I used to always think wow, that's shitty, I'm sorry you're having a bad time and wonder how bad their karma was. And then I lived with one for a year.

It wasn't fandom, it was them. They were a horrible, insufferable person and I don't blame fandom friends for shunning them. I'm one of them, now, I cut them out of my life, no regrets.

So be careful, OP. It might be you. I really do hope you're not an insufferable person, though, and it really is them.

[dazzledfirestar]

It can be tough to see a situation from the other side, that's very true. And really, if OP is as bitter and angry with their friends as this secret reads... well, maybe they need some space away from all that negativity. God knows I would.

[(Anonymous)]

>>It wasn't fandom, it was them. They were a horrible, insufferable person and I don't blame fandom friends for shunning them. I'm one of them, now, I cut them out of my life, no regrets.<<

Last year I fell for two people like that.
Presented themselves as victims, then turned out to be bullies themselves.

I hope OP is able to sort it out.

[(Anonymous)]

I think those people that really get shut out of everything, and not because they're manifestly awful, wouldn't paint the other people as dicks continually. They'd be hurt and confused, ask for advice a lot, and probably complain sometimes, but more about how bad they themselves were at social interactions.

[(Anonymous)]

I've got some friends like this. Thankfully they're not my fandom friends, although they are friends - but they present themselves as victims and I wanna shake them and go "i watched what happen, half of it was entirely you"

+1

[(Anonymous)]

though I will say, even if they're not straight up insufferable dicks, just listening to someone who literally can only make conversations about how horrible they are and how eventually everyone leaves them... uh, kinda becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

if all you can talk about is how everyone is eventually going to hate/leave you, how fun a friend do you think you are to hang out with?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry you're going through that. Feeling left out and forgotten is one of the worst feelings ever.

I've been in several fandoms, where I've met my fandom friends. Over time, as the hype dies down, people gradually move on to other things. Sometimes, they leave you behind in the process. In my case, that happens to me a lot.

It may feel awkward if you reach out to them in order to acknowledge you and include you in their chats and other things. Do try to talk to them to make things clear.

If it doesn't work out, then move on and try to make new friends. They don't even have to be active fans in a fandom. Or maybe focus on yourself and enjoy your favorite things. Don't bother with fandoms. Whatever works for you.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're not exaggerating and absolutely all of your fandom friends are ditching you, it's time to look inward and examine your own behavior. You are the common denominator here.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh shit, did I make and post a fandom secret in my sleep?

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't take these "it's you" remarks to heart, OP. People are not the best judge of character when they don't know your entire story. Take those remarks with a grain of salt, especially the ones who think you are bitter.

Groups can develop personalities, too. They change over time and on the internet this process can be quick. Some internet groups tend to reflect RL groups, including high school cliques. Some are more open and friendlier.

People tend to move on to other things, too, quicker these days.

Maybe you will be happier with a different group, or maybe even a group of a different kind of people.

[(Anonymous)]

Christ, this. The "nerdy groups" can be just as mean and cliquish as stereotypical high school cliques. You'll find assholes anywhere.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Gonna add a +1 to this. I'm surprised how negative the response to this secret has been.

I do add to the recommendation of talking to them about it before jumping to conclusions, though; it could just be a misunderstanding.

[(Anonymous)]

At the same time, they're coming across extremely entitled in their wording.

"I mentioned it first, but they don't get into it until SOMEONE ELSE NOT ME does!!!!"

Jesus Christ, WHO CARES WHEN THEY GET INTO IT OR THAT YOU INTRODUCED THEM ALL.