[ SECRET POST #2454 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2454 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a straight woman. I very rarely read het smut, though I ship numerous het pairings. It just doesn't appeal to me all that much. Why? Here's the thing: I'm scared of het sex. Penis-in-vagina sex is incredibly painful for me. I get nothing out of receiving oral and it's not a lot of fun to give it. Manual stimulation is pretty iffy. I like guys and I like the idea of sex with guys but male/female sex has been, in my experience, pretty sucky.

So when I read smut, I tend to avoid it. It's too close to my own experience and since my experience with sex has been basically universally bad, it diminishes the pleasure I tend to receive from het smut. That only increases significantly when I'm reading a story from the POV of a woman, even if I love the woman in question. About the only way I really enjoy het smut is if it's where a male has been magically turned into a woman and then there's a whole "OMG WHAT IS THIS" style freakout going on to go with the sensations. M/M porn though is separate enough from my experiences that my brain somehow is able to filter it as a fantasy and just get on with enjoying it.

Point being, there are A LOT of reasons why someone might like M/M, M/F, or F/F. Those reasons are entirely up to them and fuck you if you think you've got any special insight into someone else based on their preference in smut. My preference for M/M isn't because I've got issues with my own body (at least in the sense of not liking my body - I like by breasts and my cunt and the rest of myself thanks much) or because I'm misogynistic. Sometimes preference in smut is just preference in smut and you should STFU with the judging.

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, this isn't related to the secret, but do you have access to medical care? I mean, if you just decided PIV sex isn't for you, whatever, but if it really hurts there can be medical reasons behind that that would be good to get checked out if you can. Not necessarily to cure it, although less pain is usually a good thing, but just to make sure it's not a heavy-duty medical issue.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

this, seriously. it shouldn't be that painful, and if it is that means there's probably something wrong that you should really get checked out.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, agreed. If PIV really is *that* painful, it could be a sign of something seriously wrong somewhere....

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Yes, multiple times. My gyno basically shrugged and said that it just sometimes hurts for some women until they have a lot of sex and so I should just keep going. Only my sex drive is VERY low just in general and since it hurts, I've got an aversion, so it just doesn't really happen all that often. So it never stops hurting. So I never stop wanting to avoid it. Vicious cycle.

[(Anonymous)]

With all respect, ma'am, you might want to get a second opinion or two. (Straight guy here, so my vaginal information tends to be... second-hand, as it were.) I've known multiple women who suffered from one form or another of vaginismus or painful penetration. There really are treatments for it, and many women with your same problem have been able to get all the vaginal comfort they want. Sometimes it's as simple as patience, practice, and the right partner, other times there's other treatments.

Again, this is a second-hand perspective, but if it's something that's important to you, you don't have to take "Welp, nothing we can do" for an answer. If you haven't already, maybe start by finding some online blogs and support networks, talk to other women who've been where you are.

[(Anonymous)]

Seriously, seconding the other anon. If it's vaginismus, then the answer is not 'just keep going at it until it stops hurting'. Repeated pain in association with a particular activity is just going to condition you to dislike it.

I feel like there's a decent chance that your issue is vaginismus, in which case this might be useful for you: http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-treatment

Seriously, you start with like, a q-tip or a finger, and then graduated vaginal dilators. Going straight to something penis-sized can be uncomfortable even for women with[i]out[/i] vaginismus, plus the emotional stuff all tied up with sex, and just... [i]augh![/i] Suggesting that a woman experiencing painful sex just keep at it is so freaking STUPID and potentially emotionally (or even physically) harmful! Why would anyone even want to do a lot of something painful!

[(Anonymous)]

Suggesting that a woman experiencing painful sex just keep at it is so freaking STUPID and potentially emotionally (or even physically) harmful! Why would anyone even want to do a lot of something painful!

Oh yes, plus a friggin' billion to this.

[(Anonymous)]

Thirding the other anon. Your gyno does not sound like s/he is taking your issue seriously nor does s/he seem to be particularly proactive in solving the issue (and I hate to say it, but this is not uncommon; the medical profession does not have a particularly good historic track record in taking women's concerns seriously, in particular women's sexual health concerns.) I'd say it's time to fire him/her and get someone who *will* take you seriously, perhaps a specialist in pelvic pain. It could make a world of difference.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, multiple times. My gyno basically shrugged and said that it just sometimes hurts for some women until they have a lot of sex and so I should just keep going.
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Your gyno sounds like he's talking out of his arse, that advice is ridiculous