fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2464 ]

[ SECRET POST #2464 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No amount of "but what about meeee! (etc.)" will convince me that there ISN'T a gender binary that covers male/female/trans, with everything else being snowflake labels so people who don't fit the statistical norm for men and women can feel special. So instead of spreading the wow shocking notion that stereotypical norms are bullshit, we've just made more walls and boxes that divide everybody.

Hmmm yes. I like you.

I completely disagree, but you're allowed your opinion.

Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about people who are born intersex?

I do agree to a point where, especially on tumblr, all these special snowflake genders and orientations have come up.

But, in the broad sense, I do think people exist outside the gender binary - call it genderqueer, or third gender or whatever.

(DA)

But don't most people born intersex identify with one or other gender?

new DA who hasn't posted in this thread at all yet

[citation needed]

(No, really, I don't know enough to speak with any authority on it either way, but I do think making a blanket statement like that is a little presumptuous.)

Some do, some don't. And MANY regret corrective surgeries hey have gotten as children, because that's still common practice in many places.

I kind of agree. I spent a lot of my tween/teen years in the early to mid 90s in tears that I wasn't a boy, and if I had really known MTF trans was a thing and wasn't a coward I probably would have looked into it.

But I'm not sure if it's BECAUSE I didn't have that avenue or what, but at some point I realized it wasn't so much that I wished I were a boy with a penis but that society was OK with me being the kind of girl that I am/was.

Because that's just it. I'm a girl, who's a certain way and who maybe doesn't fit in with a lot of other girls, and that's okay. It doesn't mean I don't have a gender. It doesn't mean I'm one gender this day and another the next day. I'm just a girl who is me, and anybody who has a problem with it can fuck off. And I kind of feel like there are people who don't want to deal with that emotional struggle so instead they faff around with new terms that just confuse cis people and make things harder for the rest of us (and themselves).

Not everyone is you, though. Can you not imagine that someone went through what you did, but got to the end with a different realization and really was genderqueer?

No. I can imagine somebody went through what I did, got to the end and realized they were trans. And I can imagine somebody choosing to, instead of going though what I went through and coming to a conclusion, short-cutting to a made-up label that means nothing.

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 13:35 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 14:33 (UTC) - Expand

This is exactly what I went through in the late 90s-early 2000s.

I agree that there are two many nonsense labels out there these days, but at the same time, I have friends who don't ID as male or female and I respect that. They don't think they're special snowflakes, me and my other friends don't treat them any different, and everyone gets along just fine.

Not everyone fits into that neat little labeled box.

Edited 2013-10-02 00:08 (UTC)

This, basically. I'd be more willing to venture that everyone could fit into a 3-gender system, if pressed. Binary, no.

Exactly what is that third gender defined as then?

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 00:57 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 06:53 (UTC) - Expand

I agree.

I don't have any strong opinions here, but I don't quite get it. You're saying everyone is on one side of a GENDER BINARY - but where does that come from? isn't it a mix of culture and biology? Like, so many of these hormones and you feel comfortable identifying as what our culture says is a woman/man? My understanding is that in the larger picture, our XX/XY and corresponding genitalia thing is just one biological mechanism of reproduction that we've given a large cultural significance.
So even our binary is going to work for most people, is there any reason why it should?
Anyone with an actual education in biology is free to explain all the reasons why I'm wrong btw.

My understanding is that in the larger picture, our XX/XY and corresponding genitalia thing is just one biological mechanism of reproduction that we've given a large cultural significance.

I like you, anon. :)

I'm glad I'm making sense to somebody? heh

See I always get confused by the idea of a gender binary (and I will happily be educated by someone smarter than me on this, because I really am confused), because I always saw gender as a social construct more than something that actually existed.

ie: Girls do this, boys do this. Which is why to me a third gender (or basically a Kinsey scale of genderness) is completely plausible depending on where you felt you were on society's expectations of male or female.

But it still seemed to me that that's all it is, society's idea of what male or female is or should be. :/ So I get confused.

think what you want but no amount of doubt is going to cure my dysphoria, which is a very real thing that i endure every day.

People proudly proclaiming themselves genderqueer often have hilariously sexist ideas about men and women. They're often downright misogynistic. Please note I'm saying "often," not "always." I do think positions outside the binary exist, but that not everyone claiming them is correct.*

I feel far more comfortable in pants than skirts, am not too good with babies, don't really like shopping for clothes and like video games popular with guys. I'm dating a man who's great with kids and likes to cook. Apparently we're a queer couple.

But seriously a lot of these people don't like feminine girls unless they were born with dicks.

*This kind of incorrectness about oneself is common. I used to think I was only attracted to girls because no guys wanted me, kind of like those frogs that change sex when the population's out of balance. Seriously. I distinctly remember walking through the halls of my high school thinking about the frogs. A lot of kids transition through identifying as bi to gay, or through gay to bi, or through gay to trans/trans to gay, straight to everything else, everything else to mostly straight. I don't think "genderqueer" is immune to that.

Edited 2013-10-02 04:48 (UTC)

YESS! FINALLY I CAN PLAY OPPRESSION OLYMPICS!

Sex is biological and there's three categories: Male, female and intersex. gender is cultural and as with all cultural things, it doesn't exist in objective reality and only exists in our minds. Therefore, saying that it can't possibly be binary is simply wrong.

*non-binary, sorry

yeah i'm pretty sure like 97% of the people in this thread don't understand the difference between sex and gender.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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Wait what

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WERE A QUEER COUPLE!

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