case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-10-01 06:57 pm

[ SECRET POST #2464 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Fucking terrified.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
I'm having surgery next week and for some reason I'm really not feeling okay about it.

The procedure and recovery should be fairly quick and minimally invasive. I've been under general anesthesia before and had no problems.

It's just that there's a possibility of them finding cancer instead of something benign. I just found out that I have a family history of the same type of cancer they're looking for, and it's one genetics plays a role in.

I can't talk about how scared I am with my family and friends though because everyone who knows what's happening is already scared. I wish my mum was here, but she's not, because she got cancer and died. I'm normally much less of a wimp, but I just really can't deal with this.

I just needed to talk about this to someone. So now I have, and I feel slightly less like I might snap and yell or cry at people.

Re: Fucking terrified.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Good luck, anon.

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you.
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2013-10-02 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
No, in a time like this you can be scared. It's okay to be scared and need to talk about it.

If they don't find something then that is great news. If they do then they caught it early. That's better than later.

I'm not really good at this sort of thing. If you need to vent more you can. Is there anything you would like?

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. I know it's better to catch it early, but I still have the urge to bury my head in the sand.

I'm not good at this sort of thing either. I tried watching The Lion King to cheer myself up earlier but I turned it off during the stampede because I didn't want to feel sad. I realised I can't think of a single movie or book where nothing horrible or sad happens. Do you know any? I'm thinking I'll go on a fic binge later.

As far as venting goes: my surgeon is kind of a dick.
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: OP

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2013-10-02 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
I understand wanting to run away from problems.

Hmmm, well, I would say Meet the Robinsons. There is a sad scene at the start and one in the middle but it's short and does get fixed by the end. Mulan is nice, though it does have a few hardships. Again, those are fixed by the end. I think most movies I can recommend have maybe a sad thing that needs to be fixed. If you don't want to watch any sad stuff you should know there are hours of episodes worth of Whose Line is it Anyway on youtube.

Is he a good surgeon though? Because you can always switch.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh. Completely forgot about Meet the Robinsons and Mulan. Thank you!

I haven't heard anything bad about him. He just didn't seem to want to answer questions and was more concerned about what I could pay for than anything else. There's another surgeon I could use, but I might be waiting months for an appointment or otherwise have to travel further.
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: OP

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2013-10-02 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
You're welcome.

Oh, that's unfortunate. I hope everything turns out alright.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 02:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

[personal profile] forgottenjester - 2013-10-02 02:42 (UTC) - Expand
misty_anon: (Default)

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] misty_anon 2013-10-02 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry, anon. I don't think you're a wimp for being so scared - the vast majority of people would be scared in your place, no matter how good they were at hiding it. Facing an op is hard, let alone an op that might bring bad news with it.

I really hope the op goes well and the doctors find only benign things. Good luck.

Re: Fucking terrified.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I'm not used to being scared. I feel like I'm doing it wrong or something.

I hope it's all benign too.
agentcthulhu: knitted yellow-green cthulhu in black suit and sunglasses (Default)

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] agentcthulhu 2013-10-02 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Cancer treatments are always improving. Maybe the cancer that you have a genetic disposition for has better medication now?

"Laughter is the best medicine," or so it is said. Here're some cat macros to cheer you up? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ6cQ_T2Wro

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Cat macros are always welcome. :)

I hope there are better treatments. If I never have to go through chemo in my lifetime I will die happy.
lynx: (P3 - Hush honey (It'll be ok))

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] lynx 2013-10-02 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
*HUGS YOU TIGHTLY*

I'll be sending positive thoughts your way, Anon. Let's hope for the best, ok? Your fear is completely normal, and doesn't make you a wimp.

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. I could use that hug right now.
elaminator: (Teen Wolf: Stiles)

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] elaminator 2013-10-02 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
It's totally okay for you to be terrified in a situation like this, and please don't feel like you shouldn't. Like others have said, everyone else would be too, and there's nothing shameful about that. I guess the thing to do in this situation is just to remind yourself that they haven't found cancer yet, and there's a chance they won't, and until then there's nothing more you can do. If they do find something at least you'll be finding out about it now, so that something can be done about it.

And I'm sure your friends and family wouldn't mind hearing about your fears seeing as they're worrying about the same things, but I can understand why you don't want to bring it up to them. That's thoughtful of you.

Hope things work out anon.

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I can see some of my friends being supportive, but my family are more likely to just sob all over me and make me feel worse.

They probably won't find any nasty things and then I'll feel really silly for being so scared.

Thank you.

Your Dylan icon makes me happy. *pets*
elaminator: (Teen Wolf: Stilinski's being angsty)

Re: OP

[personal profile] elaminator 2013-10-02 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yea, I know how you feel. :( It's hard seeing family upset and sometimes it seems easier to leave them out of it as much as possible and deal on your own, but that isn't pleasant either. Either way there's a whole lot of worry going around, so whether you want to experience it alone or with someone else...it's never going to be easy. Either way is understandable imo, but needing or wanting someone to lean on is totally fine as well. I hope you can at least discuss this with some of your friends because keeping those kind of feelings inside is hellish.

And pfft, people go through little shit every single day that terrifies them, something like this is not a thing you need to feel silly for worrying about. Believe me on this.

Happy to be of service!

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
I might talk to my friends when I see them on friday depending on sobriety and PDA levels. Sometimes they're not great at serious conversation, and two of them are dating each other and I can't talk to them when they're both looking at me but groping/stroking/tickling each other. *shudder*

I know rationally that it's not silly. I just have a mindset about not telling people when I feel upset or scared or sick because it worries them. So even though I feel like death and I'm terrified, I still end up answering "I'm fine" to everything.

Ahhh. That gif is so perfect.
elaminator: (Chuck: Sarah)

Re: OP

[personal profile] elaminator 2013-10-02 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
*snort* That does not sound like the best moment to have a serious discussion with them, no... Still, if they're your friends I'm sure they want to know what's going on in your life and would appreciate hearing it from you! And I doubt they would want you to go through this alone either, though of course it's much harder to find the words in the moment...

"I'm fine" is an easy answer, I don't blame you. No one wants to feel like they're burdening their loved ones, but at the same time the people who love you are probably not going to see you as a burden in the first place, least of all for a reason like this. Buttt, like you said, feelings aren't always rational.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-02 07:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-10-02 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
You have every right to be scared. I know I was with my (completely incompetent) cancer diagnosis.

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks.

"Incompetent" and "cancer diagnosis" in the same sentence can never be a good thing. :(

Re: OP

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-10-02 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, two experts using four methods managed to produce a false-positive. But yeah, it's a topsy turvy process to go through, and you should have some slack to be angry, pissy, depressed, and generally rough going.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
Ugh. That sucks.

I feel justified in spending some quality time with my dvd player and eating this pizza now.
cakemage: (Kroko)

Re: Fucking terrified.

[personal profile] cakemage 2013-10-02 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, OP. I hope your procedure goes well and that you get good results back.

Also, if it helps, these are some of the sites I like to visit when I'm feeling scared, depressed and/or generally overwhelmed.

This is a slideshow of pictures of dogs underwater. Utterly hilarious. There is also an entire book out consisting of nothing but pictures of underwater dogs, taken by this same photographer.
http://news.yahoo.com/photos/underwater-dogs-slideshow/underwater-dogs-photo--1635640250.html

Awkward Family Photos can usually get a laugh out of me.
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

And if you're looking to overdose on cute, http://www.zooborns.com/

Re: Fucking terrified.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

I... did not know dogs looked like that underwater.

I can't believe I forgot Awkward Family Photos existed. Oh man. So many awkward matching outfits and weird haircuts.