[ SECRET POST #2464 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have a severe lack of empathy. When someone is hurt, sad, bothered, I just can't...empathize with them. Objectively I know something is wrong, but when people come to me with their problems I either don't care OR I just freeze up and try to back away from the situation.

It has gotten to the point that my siblings have realized this and adjust accordingly by not complaining about stuff to me or looking to me for emotional support. They know I love them but they also know I have no idea what to do with all...that.

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of feel the same way. :/ To me it's not that I don't CARE that someone is in pain/going through something tough, etc., I just don't know what they WANT from me when it's expressed to me.

Like... I don't know what the appropriate response is, because to me, things like, "Oh it'll be okay," or, "You'll get through this," seem disingenuous when it might not be okay, or they might not get through this. :/

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[starphotographs]

This is how I am, too. I just... Oh god I want you to feel better and also to stop making those noises because they are making me nervous but I just don't know WTF to do about this I AM SO SORRY. D:

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Haha, that's exactly it! I get especially nervous when people cry around me for that reason.

It's like, "Oh my God, what do you want from meeee? Stop doing that!!"

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure you're good at other things.

As long as you have a sense of morality and aren't hurting one? I think you'll be okay. I'm not an expert though, you might wanna consult one if you're really worried.

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm this way for.. Most people. Family included. But there's certain friends I'll genuinely support/feel sympathy for. Most of the time I have no idea what to do though.

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I've got a friend like this.

...and I'm getting like this, but I think it's more I am too tired to give a shit about others when it's seemingly trivial or appears to be easily solved and they /won't/

Re: Nonfandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who has been told that they're a really good listener and counsellor, I'll say this just in case it helps you: most of the time when people come to you with their problems they don't want advice (unless they specifically ask for it), and no one wants to hear insincere and trite reassurances. Instead, a lot of the time people just want someone to listen to them, and to validate their feelings by being sympathetic/understanding. And that validation can be something as simple as 'I completely understand why you're upset, if I was in your situation I would feel the same way.'

I don't know why exactly you back away from being empathetic, but I do know that it can be quite scary and intimidating to have the responsibility of someone else's emotional wellbeing in your hands. But I want to say that you can be empathetic without becoming too emotionally involved in someone else's problems - and in fact keeping a degree of difference makes comforting people easier rather than harder.