case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-10-01 06:57 pm

[ SECRET POST #2464 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
It's really not that difficult if you think of it as a spectrum:

Asexuals: no sex (with others) <------ demisexuals ------> folks who like to have a lot of sex with others

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
except that 'high libido' is not a sexual identity

sexuality is defined by the target of real or potential attraction (men, women, either/all, none) not by intensity

so this scale is nonsensical

you could make an argument for demisexuality as 'target pool is only *capable* of including people with deep long term feelings blah blah blah', but making it aces vs sluts with good girl demis who can have it all is exactly why nobody takes it seriously

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
I can't believe I'm even jumping in here, but despite it not being particularly well-worded, Anon specifically said "like to have a lot of sex with others," which is clearly a separate thing from "high libido."

(Anonymous) 2013-10-02 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I figure that you can make a sliding scale that runs perpendicular to the gay<->bi<->straight scale, but demisexuality doesn't fit on it, because it's a condition under which you find people attractive, rather than a scale of how many people you find attractive.

Just because I feel like rambling about my thoughts to people who probably won't see it, I figure the y-axis to the gay<->straight x-axis of attraction would basically be based on like... % of people available to be attracted to that you find attractive. Roughly. It'd be like...

Hypersexual/omnisexual (hypothetical person attracted to every single person alive that fits their sexuality) <-> Average amount of people that someone is attracted to <-> absolute asexual (hypothetical person who can never be attracted to anyone ever).

Once you get low enough on the axis towards the absolute asexual end of the spectrum, you get the divide between 'sexual' and 'asexual', where there are so few people that they're capable of being attracted to that they're unlikely to ever encounter those people under conditions conducive to developing a sexual relationship.

The reason why demisexual is considered similar to asexual is that a demisexual who has never become emotionally close to someone who fits their pool of people they can be sexually attracted to will likely consider themselves asexual, because they've never experienced sexual attraction. I know I considered myself asexual since before I knew it was a Thing (I started out calling myself 'nonsexual' when I was, like 13), and then about a month after getting together with my girlfriend my libido was suddenly like "Oh, hello there lady!" instead of it's usual aimlessness. I don't identify as demisexual, though, because I dislike the nomenclature and also it's kind of pointless. It doesn't really tell anybody anything. I'm just mygirlfriendsexual for the moment.