Okay people, listen up. Mental illness is rough and yeah, if you have it it can drastically alter the way you handle social situations, but here's the thing:
Nobody is responsible for your actions but YOU. And just because you find it difficult to help your behaviour doesn't mean that it doesn't have an impact on those around you. If you do something to hurt someone else due to a mental illness then you need to accept that you did wrong and caused harm to someone close to you.
If OP's friend really does have anxiety, then it's was said friend's duty to say as much before or after the fact. Yeah, having to admit your illness to people when you're not comfortable to can suck but 1) if you're comfortable enough to stay over as their house guest, you have no excuse, and 2) honestly it's in your best interests so the people around you know what to watch out for and can do what they can to make you comfortable.
Whatever the deal with their friend, OP has every right in the goddamn world to be upset over what happened, and you all have to stop projecting your own illnesses onto somebody who you don't even know in order to protect your own egos. You're not the ones whose behaviour is in question here, stop it. We do not know that OP's friend has SA, and even if they did that may justify their actions but it still doesn't make them okay.
OP, speak to your friend about this. If they're worth their goddamn salt as a person then they'll apologise and explain why they behaved in such a way, assuming they do have a good reason outside of simply being an asshole. If it turns out they do have SA or a different disorder, then personally I don't feel you should hold their actions against them any longer. However, you still retain the right to be upset over what happened, and it's entirely your right not to allow them to visit again if you're uncomfortable with the only thing they have to offer with their irl presence being a wall of silence.
tl;dr mental illness is sucky and it's true that sometimes people's behaviours are beyond their control, but that doesn't make the hurt they cause to the people around them go away. I get that everyone in this thread *means* well, but people need to stop putting the ambiguity or whether OP's friend is or isn't a person with social anxiety above the fact that you were still treated very poorly
Wow @ all you whiteknights
Nobody is responsible for your actions but YOU. And just because you find it difficult to help your behaviour doesn't mean that it doesn't have an impact on those around you. If you do something to hurt someone else due to a mental illness then you need to accept that you did wrong and caused harm to someone close to you.
If OP's friend really does have anxiety, then it's was said friend's duty to say as much before or after the fact. Yeah, having to admit your illness to people when you're not comfortable to can suck but 1) if you're comfortable enough to stay over as their house guest, you have no excuse, and 2) honestly it's in your best interests so the people around you know what to watch out for and can do what they can to make you comfortable.
Whatever the deal with their friend, OP has every right in the goddamn world to be upset over what happened, and you all have to stop projecting your own illnesses onto somebody who you don't even know in order to protect your own egos. You're not the ones whose behaviour is in question here, stop it. We do not know that OP's friend has SA, and even if they did that may justify their actions but it still doesn't make them okay.
OP, speak to your friend about this. If they're worth their goddamn salt as a person then they'll apologise and explain why they behaved in such a way, assuming they do have a good reason outside of simply being an asshole. If it turns out they do have SA or a different disorder, then personally I don't feel you should hold their actions against them any longer. However, you still retain the right to be upset over what happened, and it's entirely your right not to allow them to visit again if you're uncomfortable with the only thing they have to offer with their irl presence being a wall of silence.
tl;dr mental illness is sucky and it's true that sometimes people's behaviours are beyond their control, but that doesn't make the hurt they cause to the people around them go away. I get that everyone in this thread *means* well, but people need to stop putting the ambiguity or whether OP's friend is or isn't a person with social anxiety above the fact that you were still treated very poorly