[ SECRET POST #2466 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2466 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[dinogrrl]

^This. Social anxiety sucks so hard and it makes meeting people really difficult. If you aren't aware of someone having social anxiety, I can easily see how their behavior would appear as rudeness.

I agree with lyndis though, I've been raised that, generally speaking, if someone invites me somewhere, they pay for it. Conversely, if I invite someone to do something, I pay. The OP didn't address who invited whom though, so who knows what went down.

[(Anonymous)]

"I've been raised that, generally speaking, if someone invites me somewhere, they pay for it. Conversely, if I invite someone to do something, I pay. The OP didn't address who invited whom though, so who knows what went down."

That's fine for one-off occasions, like inviting someone out to lunch or to the movies. But when you're someone's houseguest (even if they invited you!) it's outrageous to not bring your friend a present, take them out to dinner, etc. as a thank you. It's polite to make an offer to help defray costs of gas, tickets, stuff like that... even if you think they'll decline. Letting them plan and pay for everything for the entire stay is inexcusable.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. If it was just a day out, then I can see why the OP's friend would think that the OP is ok with paying for everything (though she really should have asked first!)

But the OP seems to imply that the online friend stayed for more than one day (either that, or they got a shitload done in a single day) so it's downright rude of the friend to not bring a present and/or offer to pay for some of the expenses. Even offering to do the dishes, or to cook dinner, or to pay for some gas, or some snacks for a movie night, etc. would have been fine.

But the things that the OP mentioned they did would cost hundreds of dollars all-up. If I was the friend, I'd feel guilty for making someone I just met irl pay so much money for me to have a good time.

[dinogrrl]

Again, depends on what the local culture is. Where I am, asking to help pay for things can be interpreted as an insult to the host. I do agree that a 'gift' of some sort, especially during an extended stay, would be a nice gesture though.

[ketita]

Weird, must be a regional/cultural thing, because where I live no way anybody would expect that just because you invited them over you'd pay for everything =/ unless maybe it's somebody from another country, but even that would depend on the situation.

I mean, hosting at home is one thing. You're to somebody's house, it's accepted that they feed you. But if I went to my friend's and she suggested going to a museum, I wouldn't for an instant assume she meant to pay my ticket.