[ SECRET POST #2469 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2469 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #353.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[lynx]

When Goscinny was in charge of the writing, it was kept deliberately obscure if he really did sing THAT badly, or he truly was ahead of the times and the villagers just didn't get his music.

The later books, written solely by Uderzo after Goscinny passed away, stated that his music was so awful it even could make rain indoors.

So I'm not sure which would be really Word of God here, (or which would be "more canon"), since Goscinny was originally the writer and Uderzo just the illustrator.

[firefly99]

Even when Goscinny's in charge of the writing he's always drawn with wobbly music notes when he plays, and the other characters compare his singing to a carynx, yodelling and Abracourcix/Vitalstatistix screaming in agony. The other characters enjoy his music occasionally, like when he's performing with Goudrix/Justforkix (who seems to genuinely like his music) at the banquet at the end of Asterix and the Normans. The running theme seems to be that they only hate him when he's singing, so he's probably at least a competent instrumentalist but just has a really horrible voice.

I suspect he is also ahead of his time, though. If the new volume coming out doesn't reveal that he invented dubstep I'm personally punching my comic.

[lynx]

Fly! What a treat to see you here, hello! :DDDDD

I should grab my comics again and check... Lemme see. Indeed in my copy of Asterix and the Normans Goudrix loves him, indeed, and prompts him to go to Lutecia (Lutetia?). So Obelix follows him, and his singing has caused ruckus along the way, making cows stop from giving milk and such. And then he teaches the Normans the meaning of fear with his music (which Goudrix still enjoys from the sidelines)... But at the banquet, at the end of the book, all the villagers are enjoying his music (still drawn with squiggly musical notes, and they don't have parsley in their ears), and it's him alone who's performing, not Goudrix doing the vocals. So I understand jackshit XD

But yeah, now that you said that about dubstep, it will never go away from my head.

[firefly99]

Sorry I haven't been blogging, Lynx. I've missed you :(

Looking at it again, Justforkix is dancing on the table while Cacofonix is shredding, which I somehow made into him singing in my mind (probably because Justforkix was shown to play music, too). Maybe Cacofonix is playing one of JFKx's songs, which the villagers liked? Probably they're just being more charitable towards him since he saved JFKx's (and Asterix's?) life - they let him play in the other stories where he plays a major role as well, except Asterix and the Golden Sickle. Either way, he doesn't seem to be singing.

I'd wondered if their dislike of his music is mostly down to Fulliautomatix being one of those super-vocal critics who makes it impossible to admit you even slightly appreciate something, but Romans hate his music almost as much as the Gauls do, so yeah. Goscinny and Uderzo tend to go back and forth on stuff like that a lot depending on what works better for the gag they've set up - not only does Cacofonix's quality go up and down depending on how bad he needs to be, but I also notice Obelix is more sweet, innocent and naive in some stories (e.g. Asterix and the Normans and Asterix and the Banquet, where he's shown to be actually pretty smart), and more stupid, unreasonable and annoying in others (like Asterix and the Big Fight and Asterix and the Cauldron where he's mostly just an obstacle). All those stories work really well all the same!

I personally headcanon these things somewhere in the middle - yep, Cacofonix is ahead of his time and a genius who can play modern pop music to his unappreciative audiences in the fucking Iron Age, but yep, he's better at playing the usual folk music than anything too modern and has just the most painful singing voice. And Obelix, being childlike, goes from being precocious and well-behaved some days and a rampant, sticky terror other days. I'm definitely thinking about it way more seriously than it deserves, though.

[lynx]

I've missed you too, darling <3 *hug* I get that you haven't been blogging (and I haven't been hanging out where you usually do anyway - Instead I've made F!S my refuge).

I like it when you go meta on stuff, don't worry 8DDD I think it's more like you said, too. The canon goes back and forth depending on what will make the gags run better (Rule of Funny?), and the characters are more archetypes of themselves than set-on-stone characters.

Asourancetourix/Cacofonix would do wonders with electropop/folk and a little bit of autotune :C *pets him* I always liked him, poor guy always getting beaten.

[firefly99]

OH MY GOD, I would LOVE to see Cacofonix experiencing Auto-Tune. On a purely scientific level, it'd be fascinating. I bet he'd find a way to break it. I bet he'd find a way that it can hit him on the head with a hammer, somehow. OR MAYBE IT WOULD MAKE HIM THE GREATEST SINGER IN THE WORLD, CAPABLE OF BRINGING TEARS TO THE EYES OF STONE STATUES. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. Unfortunately, this will never happen because the science fiction book was the worst thing ever to happen to colours and lines

I am currently writing Asterix fanfic about Cacofonix entering the Roman equivalent of the Eurovision Song Contest and generally making a total arse of himself, but so far the writing process is mostly me coming up with pun names for an equally persecuted bard with some 'sick' new ideas who helps him, laughing at my own lame jokes until I cough up some sick, and not actually writing anything. (I can't decide whether to call him Tecnoremix, Playsomlix, Teenagekix, Guitarpix, Thisbeatisix, Damsonwerdufindix, or Skrillix. I'M SERIOUS, THIS IS ALL THE WRITING PROCESS HAS BEEN.)

[lynx]

... God I love you so much. Now I need that in my life or it will be forever incomplete and submerged in darkness. I need Cacofonix on Auto-Tune. And I need him on Eurovision. I laughed out loud with the list of names, but I'm biased as hell and would vote for Skrillix. IT WRITES ITSELF. Please finish that one X'DDD

[firefly99]

OKAY

OKAY

AUTO-TUNE IS GOING IN THE FANFIC, although I'll have to work out how to fit it in and what the heck the Gallo-Roman equivalent of Auto-Tune is. A druidic potion is the obvious solution, but seems too obvious. I'll have to think about something weirder.

[lynx]

OMFG YAY ILU THANK YOUUUUUU <333333

A druidic potion would make them disqualify from Roman-Empire-Vision, though, like it happened to the Romans in "Asterix at the Olympic Games". Maybe something that has an specific (and mechanical) accoustic effect? Like the opposite of an ear trumpet.

[sootyowl]

I forgot about that! I haven't read the whole series in years.

I guess WoG would depend on if you think Uderzo was still following the path that Goscinny paved out for him or not. I mean, it's still one of the original creators, but your mileage may vary, haha. I'd say either one is believable.