fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2469 ]

[ SECRET POST #2469 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2469 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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So I recently got into fandom (I'm about sixteen) and I've become interested in writing fanfiction. I haven't yet because I have a few things holding me back. I just read some of it (the really strongly recommended stuff atm).

I have this fandom friend (she was the one who really introduced me to a lot of fandom) who told me something that bothered me. She mentioned that if you get a review and you get mad about it , then it looks bratty and is wrong. I believe in being nice to people who give good advice and get really bad secondhand embarrassment for people who screech at reviewers giving good advice. But I have seen people give really gross, nasty and rude comments. I don't see why for example if someone is yelling at me and telling me to kill myself for writing something that I owe them any respect just because they 'took time out of their day' to insult me. I know flaming back would just look over defensive, but is it really that bad to just say "please leave me alone if you're not going to actually give me any help"?

I brought that up to her but she said that it doesn't happen that much and I'm just "making up reasons" . I didn't bring it up again because I guess I didn't want her to think badly of me, because I really love her fic and admire her writing.

Are their non-"bratty" ways to approach a flamer or someone who's being downright rude to you?

I think the idea is don't feed the trolls. If you react to intentionally mean, unhelpful people, more of those will flock to you and you'll become the center of drama. Just ignore people you feel aren't helping you become better at any aspect of your life.

You don't have to respond politely or anything, but know even acknowledging them might get them pumped to keep going

Ah...okay.. That makes much more sense, explained that way. Thank you.

I don't think it's a question of owing them respect or anything. It's more that there's just no productive way to approach them that isn't just flaming them. Nothing good will come out of engaging with them, you know? Some people on the Internet are just assholes, and there's not that much you can do about it. You can try to do something, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing to call someone out on their BS. But there's a point at which you just have a choice between getting invested and tangled up in it, or ignoring it and living your life. And I think the second choice is ultimately a lot better.

*nod*

That does sound like the easier option to ignore them.

The way the fandom friend described it...she made it sound as if anything but 'respect' for the critics (especially when it's her) is 'entitled'. The other fandom friends were very helpful but this one just seemed to say "you're wrong and the reviewer is probably right" . I'm kind of afraid to show her anything I write because she'll expect me to make the change.

How do you say no if someone suggests a change to the story that you don't think fits?

sorry for all my questions.

DA

Thank them for the input, but that you have things planned out and their idea doesn't fit into what you already have planned.

Start with, "Thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it!"

Then (you might) say something to the effect of, "While I think X is a really good idea,..."

possible ends to that sentence:
I don't feel like it matches this fic.
I don't feel comfortable writing X at this time.
I'd rather use it in another fic that I'm working on, if you don't mind. (If you say this, you don't actually have to mean it... or even have a second fic in the wings.)

And end with, "You're an amazing beta reader/whatever. I really, really appreciate this. Thanks so much for all of your time/effort!"

And then do whatever it is that you want to do. Because, at the end of the day, it's your fic and you don't have to change or write anything for anyone.

Also? Can I give you an unsolicited tip? It's a LOT easier to deal with people demanding this change or that development if you've already got the fic entirely planned out from start to finish and either mostly or entirely written before you start posting it.

For starters, don't ask that particular friend to beta for you. If she reviews with stuff she didn't like/expects you to change sweep it under the rug either by focusing on other parts of the review or just go with what the anons above suggested. Generally speaking there's nothing wrong with engaging reviewers in conversation, sometimes you get great discussions about characterization or plot development, but at the end of the day it's your fic and you don't have to accommodate anyone but yourself - that goes for reviewers and beta readers.

How long has your friend been in fandom? "You're wrong and the reviewer is probably right" is an out-dated notion that was prevalent during that phase where writers were supposed to feel grateful for any and all feedback, including flames.

*nod* I have other people to beta

I think a bit longer than me. When I got into fandom she was very intent on telling me "how to 'do' fandom right". *shrug*

... I would take this person's advice with a huge grain of salt. Anyone who's that intent on lecturing you about the Do's and Don'ts of fandom sounds like someone who's in love with the sound of her own typing.

The best thing you can do in that situation is to just not respond. Those people are looking for an argument; do not engage.

Oh. That makes much more sense.

imo, you're best option is to just ignore them. It's not out of respect for them, you just don't gain good from saying anything to them, and 9 out of 10 times they're looking for a fight, and will just keep picking at you if you respond.

Thank you !

Keep the people that give concrit, if you're open to concrit, and engage. And if you're not, the polite thing to do is to say "thank you for your time" or somthing akin that, and not discuss it further.

The trolls? DO NOT ENGAGE. DON'T EVEN ERASE THEIR SHITTY COMMENTS. They thrive in attention, and erasing their flames will just get them pumped up. Ignore those.

You'll be fine :3

Thank you.

The problem is when someone is such an asshole that they're telling you to kill yourself, saying something like "Please leave me alone" is not going to accomplish a whole lot. If they were open to reason, they wouldn't be such a giant asshole in the first place. They're looking to provoke a response from you, so any response you give is likely to be fuel on the fire.

Which is not to say that you have to shut up and take it. If it gets bad and/or is coming from one person in particular, you should let people know what's happening. You don't have to respond to them if you don't want to, but sometimes the best way to handle bullying is to point out what's happening and let everyone else see it so that the asshole is unable to hide.

P.S. I think your "friend's" response was unnecessarily snide, though. You're a newbie, asking a legitimate question on how to handle negative feedback. Even if she doesn't agree that responding is the best option, she doesn't need to be condescending about it. Total anons managed to give you helpful, civil responses, and they don't even know you. Food for thought, OP, and good luck with your fanfiction!

Not helpful, but I'd say you shouldn't worry about it too much. I've been involved in fandom off and on for 14 years and I've never been flamed. I hear about it alot but haven't seen much of it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2469 ]

Newbie to fandom with questions

Re: Newbie to fandom with questions

This

To both of you

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AYRT

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AYRT

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