fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2475 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2475 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02. [repeat]

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03.

[Supernatural, Watchmen]

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04.

[a case of exploding mangoes (2008 novel)]

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05.

[Brothers in Arms]

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06.

[Agents of SHIELD ]

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07.

[Transformers: IDW Generation One]

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08.

[Sarah Michelle Gellar]

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09.

[Young Guns 2]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 057 secrets from Secret Submission Post #354.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't hit anyone else unless they hit you first (or you have a good idea they're about to), pretty much.

would you be ok with a man saying "I hit her because I thought she was going to hit me"?

Yes, because physically abusive assholes wouldn't say that--it would completely kill their power trip, and it would be like admitting a woman is an actual threat to him. A man who says he was defending himself against a woman was probably actually defending himself against a woman.

Physically abusive assholes do say that though. I get where you're coming from but it's not true of all of them. Some abusers don't care if some outsiders see them as weak as long as their victim feels out of control and overpowered even if it's through social manipulation and not physical intimidation.

Or y'know to keep out of jail where other bigger, more violent men aren't going to feel intimidated by them which would absolutely crush the ego they've built up for themself.

I also was physically assaulted by a friend's boyfriend who later claimed I hit him first. He called himself a feminist, said all the right things, etc. but was actually a horribly abusive misogynist, who just didn't want to acknowledge it or think of himself that way and later said stuff like "If women want to be respected as equals they have to understand that sometimes you just have to settle things the old-fashioned way and not go running to daddy later".

I'm sorry, anonymouslyyours--that seriously sucks. :( Glad you're okay.

With respect to my comment, though, it always comes down to individual cases. In a general scenario, I'm going to assume the person saying they were defending themselves was actually defending themselves until other information comes into play.

If the situation had somehow escalated to the point where it was very likely that one of the parties was actually going to become violent (or more along the lines of them already being violent but not having made contact yet), and it can't be defused otherwise, probably. Or, I'm as okay with it as you can be when the entire hypothetical situation is something I'm really not okay with. I'd prefer it if no one hit anyone, y'know?

Gah, my comment could probably misconstrued! I am not advocating smacking anyone who looks at you funny, obviously. I just mean that people have a right to self-defense if someone else starts it, and that the people who start it should not have done that. (But seriously, don't hit anyone if they are not an immediate threat to your physical safety and you have no other way to get away from them.)

[ SECRET POST #2475 ]

Re: violence within a relationship.

Re: violence within a relationship.

Re: violence within a relationship.

Re: violence within a relationship.

Re: violence within a relationship.

Re: violence within a relationship.