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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-10-14 06:42 pm
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[ SECRET POST #2477 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2477 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #354.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
Well, it's clearly because once you've given birth, you can never be thought of as anything other than maternal again. Sex for moms?? Ewwww.

I'm a mom, and it bothers me too. Especially when crap like 50 Shades of Unexciting Sex is called "mommy porn" by most of the masses. So insulting to mothers who do not refer to their vaginas as "down there".

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2013-10-15 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
It always bothered me that what the media dubbed "mommy porn" featured a virginal female lead like they think of course the appeal in that is to mommies because that's all mommies have left, sitting around and fantasizing about being innocent, naiive virgins again because that's where women peak and there's nothing left but fantasizing about doing it over.

Either that or they were trying to emphasize the shock that normal, mainstream mommies have sexual fantasies.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
I think the latter. "Oh, a smutty book popular with average women who have kids and maybe a minivan!"

I'm not a mom, but I think it's actually kind of good news that people recognize that women enjoy reading smut. Too bad it's crappy smut, but you have to start smutting somewhere.
lunabee34: (Default)

[personal profile] lunabee34 2013-10-15 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
I think it's that last bit there--some bizarre affrontery that soccer moms don't have plastic bikini areas like Barbie.
chardmonster: (Default)

FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-10-15 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
"You're like half my age! How are you a billionaire?" I hefted my diaper bag on my shoulder. It was full of literature. Literature, and diapers.

"Look, are you interested in the contract or not?"

"Yes! Yes. Dammit, I forgot Derrek has hockey tonight. I'm so sick of hockey, y'know? But he needs the extracurriculars and it's good for him, he makes friends and they're such nice boys. But I'm real worried about concussions. I always ask him if he's feeling dizzy or faint but of course he's not going to tell me. But yeah, the contract. That fisting thing?"

"I agree about the fisting," said the Gray, "But I'd really like to claim your ass."

My inner goddess kind of gurgled a bit. "Oooh! Y'know I bet that's fun but you've gotta warn me! Yesterday was Taco Tuesday. I'm kinda busy 'down there' if you know what I mean!"

Gray sighed. "That's... gross. But this is still preferable to virginal English majors."
Edited 2013-10-15 02:16 (UTC)

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
*giggles*

now that Grey has a personality! Well done!

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
"But I'd really like to claim your ass."

She looks up with the straw from her Appletini still dangling between her lips, considering him. Then she shrugs and places her martini glass down on the steel and chrome - what the fuck is with all the steel and chrome anyway - coffee table between them.

"Okay. But in the interest of full disclosure? I've had more flags planted on my ass than the United Nations."

Grey's eyebrow - the scarred one that made his face slightly less symmetrical - shot up.

"Well..." he begins, and then resettles his shoulders against the cushions. "College?"

"Er, no, but interesting story there...have you ever heard of Girls on Wild?"

When he shakes his head, she explains, leaning forward for the interesting bits, and by the time she's done, Grey's so hard he has to adjust his elegantly crossed legs.

"Well, Ms. Steele, I'd say...game on."

She smiles and reaches for her cellphone.

"Alrighty then, let me just take care of some babysitter details and we'll hammer out the, er, details."

chardmonster: (Default)

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-10-15 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
...oh wow. That's awesome.

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
This is fantastic!! I'd totally read more of this if you felt like writing more.
caecilia: (brainwashed)

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

[personal profile] caecilia 2013-10-15 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
...I'm invested in these characters.

Re: FIFTY SHADES OF MINIVANS: CHAPTER FIVE

(Anonymous) 2013-10-15 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
Gray sighed. "That's... gross. But this is still preferable to virginal English majors."

Speaking as a straight man (and an English major) it's true. Give me a woman who knows her way around a bed, for chrissake. Not to mention that I've had my heart broken enough times that dating someone who HASN'T is just... awkward.
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