[ SECRET POST #2483 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2483 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[(Anonymous)]

I get what you're saying, but... we're not a community, a tradition, or a way of life. We are just a bunch of random people that maybe have one thing in common: our alternative sexuality.

Honestly, if an ally votes in support of LGBT rights and is proud of his/her LGBT support, and even volunteers time, effort and money to help spread awareness... I honestly don't give a shit if they like to talk a lot. Who cares? I need allies for equality. The world needs people to be passionate and help out for causes that don't even actually affect them personally. That's awesome. Good for allies. I find SJWs more annoying when they talk about "their" cause being appropriated or taken over by stupid straight allies. I'm like, you're the kind of person we don't need championing our rights. They're the kind of people that are alienating others, and I want nothing to do with them.

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[saku]

we are a community tho? unless you're using some other definition, but the lgbt community is called a community for a reason. and even if we weren't i'm not sure what that has to do with my point, could you explain?

some lgbt folks are like you; they don't care what comes out of an ally's mouth as long as they give resources to the community. i get that line of thinking but i personally would rather an "ally" keep their time and money and "support" if they were only going to use the outcome to lift themselves up. in the end, if an "ally's" intentions are not to benefit the lgbt community and the lgbt community alone, if their opinions are not in favour of lgbt rights, then they are no better than the individual who outright objects to lgbt rights. i can't even count the amount of times i've heard an "ally" spew some transphobic binary-normative bullshit without considering the fact that lgbt issues extend beyond gay marriage. i call them fake allies bc they have no idea what they're talking about more often than not. real allies are fine as long as they understand their purpose is not to carry us when we are capable of walking on our own. but not everybody who claims to be an ally is a real ally, and that's where the whole "i hate straight allies" thing comes in. people who say that don't usually mean all allies everywhere, just the ones that are hurting them, or not care about them, etc.

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[(Anonymous)]

DA

At best, we're a group of many overlapping communities that share some common concerns but not others. Witness the cheerfulness with which some 'LGBT' people ignore trans* or bi issues.

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[saku]

oh yea i feel that. i guess by community i meant more like a group of people that shares a common demographic

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[(Anonymous)]

"in the end, if an "ally's" intentions are not to benefit the lgbt community and the lgbt community alone, if their opinions are not in favour of lgbt rights, then they are no better than the individual who outright objects to lgbt rights. "

I don't want to sound like an ass, but how does that make any sense? Helping others in a way that also benefits yourself is not in any way similar to outright harming others. It's just a little more selfish than purely helping others without benefit. I would always, ALWAYS take a well-meaning, if a little self-absorbed, ally over an actual bigot. Bigots are not usually willing to change their minds. Allies are; even the ones who see everything in how it pertains to them. They're the people who DO want to get it right, usually.

I've encountered almost as much denial and bullshit from people within the LGBT community (well, minus the B) for being bi as I've encountered outside of it. There's also a fuckload of transphobia as well. It's not exactly a tight-knight community. It's more a label, a random grouping. Sort of like "atheists".

"i call them fake allies bc they have no idea what they're talking about more often than not."

Ignorance is not necessarily malicious and this line of thinking is pretty dangerous IMO. It can and should be taught. I was ignorant about a lot of issues regarding racism in my country before I learned more about it. It wasn't that I was ever intentionally and maliciously racist, it's that I wasn't aware of the full extent of what it meant to face racism in my community because I never had to deal with it.

It takes a lot of dedication and empathy to even understand part of what another individual faces when those struggles are invisible to the privileged. Those that are willing to try and get it should NEVER be discouraged from understanding because they didn't get it 100% right the first time. It doesn't make them fake.

Re: Why do people hate allies so much?

[saku]

re: your first point - i didn't mean it necessary like that. more so i meant that if someone acts in favour of someone else but ONLY does it for themselves, and their benefiting of others only happens to be a side effect of that, then it's fucked up.

"I would always, ALWAYS take a well-meaning, if a little self-absorbed, ally over an actual bigot."
i think most of us would?? that's a compromise when faced with two shitty options though imo.

i'm pansexual and trans so i understand what you mean about internal ignorance within the lgbt community and there's no excusing that but saying that ignorance is bred within lgbt folks doesn't excuse the ignorance in straight/cis people.

"Ignorance is not necessarily malicious"
you're right but it often leads to harmful thoughts or actions done in ignorance. and when allies come into our spaces, spaces meant to be safe for us, in order to "help" us but often end up making our spaces unsafe or uncomfortable, then they need to back off. eagerness to help is not always a virtue, depending on how its handled. i prefer to surround myself, in these spaces, with people who share my experiences, not people who are analysing them from an outside perspective and trying to understand.